Ignorance is Bliss
by ChibiFrubaGirl
Summary: [AxelRiku] It all started with an enigmatic incident. Now, two years later, join Axel as he picks up the pieces and fills in the blanks, while trying to fix the damage that's been done. [COMPLETE]
1. Chase Scene

"Hey! Hey you! Come back!"

Look straight ahead and pretend you didn't hear him. Just ignore him. Ignore.

"You! Could you hold on for a sec?!"

Just keep walking, don't look back. Don't look back. And don't speed up or he'll know you're trying to get away and then he'll come running.

"Hey dude with the silver hair! Yeah you!"

Look down, don't look up. People are starting to stare because now they know you're the one he's calling. Keep the same speed and look down.

"Wait! Please! Just hold on for a bit okay?!"

Time to start speeding up, but only a little so he doesn't notice. Only a little…

"Just stop! What's wrong with you?! Hey! I'm talking to you!"

Don't take faster steps, just take bigger steps. That way he won't see that you're rushing. That's right, make the distance between your steps longer and it won't look like you're running.

"Can you hear me?! Why won't you stop?! C'mon man slow down!"

Crap, he's noticed your increase in pace now. Okay don't panic, but look up and start hurrying. Don't look down, if you look down at this speed you'll crash and he'll catch up.

"STOP!!! Slow down! Hey I just want to talk!"

Suppress the urge to laugh at his last statement and… Oh! Wait, time to speed up again! He's starting to pick up his pace.

"Will you stop for just one second?! I'll only take a minute of your time!"

He's really running now. That means you can run too now. That's right, it's finally time to run! So run! Fast he's coming!

"Hey what's wrong?! Look I won't do anything!"

You're running as fast as you can, which usually wouldn't be enough to evade him but it is in this case. You suppose it's because he's getting slowed down by all the people that have decided to help you and are stopping him.

"No! You don't get it! He's my friend! I just wanna talk! Hey! Slow down!"

His statements become confusing because now he's yelling at you and the crowd and it's hard to tell what's addressed to who. But oh well… It doesn't matter what he's saying anyways, as long as he doesn't catch up to you.

"Let me through please! Thank you!"

You're not sure, but it seems like he's talking to the other people. That can't be good.

"Wait up!"

Uh-oh… He's coming back. Shit. You hear the clopping of sneakers on tiled flooring and you know he's running to catch up. This of course means that you in turn have to run.

"Stop please! Hold up!"

He's catching up now without all those people who used to be nice when they were helping you but now they're not.

"Can you hear me?! I said stop!"

You're breaking out in a sweat now. That's not good. It means you're panicking. Panicking is never good. That's what Kairi said when she told you "you have to keep calm". Deep breaths. Calm down and take deep breaths.

"Wait for me!"

But it's hard to take deep breaths when you're running like this. Oh well, try anyways.

"Could you just wait for one second!"

You're lungs are burning, that means you must be slowing down too.

"Hey!"

It looks like he's really going to get you…

"Thanks for waiting, sorry if I freaked you out! But you know you didn't have to run like that. I'm not going to hurt you. What's your name?"

You decide to not listen to what he's saying and take in his appearance. He's breathing heavily but you assume that he's not always like that and that it must be from all the running… Suddenly you feel a bit guilty about making him chase after you like that.

"So anyways I was just wondering…"

His hair is pretty weird and the shade of red is so very unusual. But there's something about it that's nice… It's different, you decide.

"There's this awesome new restaurant that just opened up see and I was thinking…"

Next you observe his clothes. Their pretty standard. A brown t-shirt with light patterns all over. Tracing the patterns with your eyes makes you dizzy so you move on to his pants.

"And I know we don't really know each other very well but still I think…"

He's also wearing two belts. One is either a very dark shade of green or maybe it's gray… And the other is black and silver. His pants are brown… The same color as Sora's hair… But a different shade.

"Alright! It's settled!"

You blink and suddenly you realize that he's been talking this whole time you've been listening… You quickly go through everything you did happen to hear him say and what he's saying now… It's not that hard to draw the line.

"Let's go!"

Somewhere through all his babbling your stupid mouth must have betrayed you (again) by agreeing to go out with him.

"Hurry up! It's getting late thanks to all your running! I want to eat! Don't you?"

Suddenly you realize where you've seen his shade of red before. It's the exact same shade of red as Ariel's from that Disney movie… Was it called the Little Mermaid? You only remember that stupid movie because Kairi used to be so obsessed with it and she even dressed up as Ariel for Halloween once. You remember thinking that it wasn't a very good costume because it didn't actually have fins. But you didn't tell Kairi that.

"Do you like Chinese food? You do right?"

After a while you start paying more attention to his voice and you begin to realize just how expressive he is. Like Sora. Only different. More dramatic and less… skippy.

"Is that your natural hair color?"

Then you notice that you've been talking to him this whole time. Damn your traitorous mouth to hell. You decide that you better say something of your own free will before your mouth gets too out of control.

"Why do you ask so many questions?" you ask curiously, it seems like a fair question. He blinks at you and you blink back. Suddenly a laugh escapes his lips. You frown. It wasn't supposed to be funny.

"I guess I'm just curious," he says, "How old are you?"

You're a little surprised he hasn't asked you yet but you figure he must be pretty scatter brained, "I'm… sixteen."

"Really?" he raises his eyebrows, "I'm twenty."

He's a lot older than you, and quite suddenly you realize for the first time that this man is a stranger. And what did mother say about strangers?

_"Never talk to them or interact with them in any way, they'll try to take advantage of you in your state."_

Right. You gird yourself to tell this red-headed maniac to go away but then you look at him again… And you notice the way he's smiling and gesturing so animatedly…

"And then I told him that he could go to hell cause he was just being an ass…"

And he's so honest to you. He doesn't treat you differently like everyone else. And there's something that tells you that even if he did know he wouldn't care. Not like everyone else.

"I don't know… What do you think? Maybe I shouldn't have yelled back…"

And he's trying so hard to maintain a conversation. Most people just ask you how you're doing and other non-important stuff. Though his topics aren't exactly important at least they're real, and not just some excuse to break the silence.

"By the way I like your pants where'd you get them?"

He's not a stranger, you tell yourself firmly. After all, you know a surprisingly large amount of stuff about him (well he has been rambling almost non-stop). So that means it's okay for you to hang out with him.

"Where are we going?" you ask quietly, afraid you might hurt his feelings because you weren't paying attention.

He grins, "Too busy checking me out to hear?"

You blush and he laughs before ruffling your hair.

"This new Chinese place," he answers, though you're still a little too caught up in the fact that he actually ruffled your hair. No one's ever done that. They're all worried you'll get upset.

"Okay," you say, and the way his smile increases ten fold makes you want to laugh.

This isn't so bad…

------

"Hey! Hey you! Come back!"

Look straight ahead and pretend you didn't hear him. Just ignore him. Ignore.

"You! Could you hold on for a sec?!"

Just keep walking, don't look back. Don't look back. And don't speed up or he'll know you're trying to get away and then he'll come running.

"Hey dude with the silver hair! Yeah you!"

Huh?

Roxas looked up in time to see Axel flagging down a boy taller that Roxas (but shorter than Axel). After an incident that resembled a high-speed chase and a brief struggle, Roxas watched his long time best friend and ex-lover flirt shamelessly with the other boy. Other. Boy.

Even if Roxas had been the one to break up with Axel months ago he still had feelings for the red head. The whole break up thing had been… complicated. In all honesty though, Roxas had been hoping (no longing) for some making up and out.

Eyeing the other two now Roxas had to admit… This "other boy" was clearly trouble. Because as much as Roxas hated to admit it… He was pretty damn hot.

But then again, he was also totally oblivious to Axel's flirting. Or maybe he's trying to play hard to get? Wondered Roxas. Though he doubted it upon seeing the silver haired boy's curiously blank face. Either this guys was shy about public displays of emotion, extremely clueless in the romantic department, or just plain stupid, thought Roxas firmly.

Roxas's hopes however were torn to pieces, burnt to ashes and shoved up Goofy's ass when Axel grabbed the "other boy" by the wrist and began pulling him along. The silver haired one's feet stumbled at first but after a while his legs began to follow through and soon he was hurrying to keep up with Axel's lengthy strides.

Roxas watched this display in grim defeat.

_"I'm not going down without a fight boy!"_

**Author's Note: **(Bangs head on table) That sucked worse than eggs! Oh God why did I write this! One whole afternoon! Wasted! Why?! Oh well… It's been posted. Feel free to tell me how bad this was… Or feel free to tell me I'm wrong about it! Either way…

Gah! I don't even know where this idea cam from… Aish! Well too late now!

Please review whether you loved it or not! Either way will make me a very happy writer!

bliss


	2. From Parks to Rentals

Chapter Two

In a small plain home located in the quiet suburb of Twilight Town and tall, lean framed woman was pacing back and forth in her living room. Wringing her hands in anxiety. Her eyes were lidded with worry and her movements are erratic and jumpy.

Between her jittery behavior and her eyes continuously glancing out the window she didn't notice when her husband (whose hair is as red as hers) came up from behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Aish!" she cried out, leaping away from the touch, "Oh," she said when she realized it's her husband, "Oh I'm sorry… I'm just so nervous…"

And with that she continued walking to and fro, hands looking as bony as ever in the pale moonlight that streamed in through the window.

"Honey, I think you should sit down," said the man, directing her to a chair, "he'll be fine, I'm sure of it now please relax. I'm worried you'll give yourself an ulcer or a heart attack if you keep this up much longer!"

"But Natashi!" she protested, "What if he's hurt?! I have to keep watch! He might walk right past the house if we don't be careful!"

"Ritsuko he'll be fine. Now sit."

Slowly, taking deep breaths she sat herself down on the couch and began fiddling with the tassels on the ends of their many pillows.

Seeming satisfied that she was calm enough to maintain a steady heart beat; Natashi assumed her post by the window and looked out pensively.

Although he hated to admit, Ritsuko was right. It was very possible that there son would continue to just walk straight past their house if he was in a confused state which, judging by how late he was getting home, he probably was.

"Riku will be fine," he thought out loud, trying to reassure himself of this fact.

"But he's never gotten home this late before," groaned his wife, "what if he's been kidnapped? It wouldn't take much to get him to go along with you…"

"I'm sure he'll be home soon," her husband stated for what seemed like the millionth time that night, "after all he's only…"

_Thirty four minutes and twenty three seconds late… Twenty four… Twenty five…_

He shook his head; red mop flying everywhere, counting time was a sign of being worried. And he was _not _worried.

_Twenty seven… twenty eight… twenty nine…_

_Oh to hell with it all, _he thought, as he reached for the phone in order to call all their relatives and friends again, telling them to look out for Riku.

-----

"Why did you bring me with you?"

Axel looked up from his duck sauce at the question, "Wha?" he managed to get out through a mouthful of pan fried noodles and egg drop soup.

"Why did you flag me down? If you were that determined to eat with someone you could've yelled at anyone, or called one of your friends."

Axel smiled at the silver haired teen over the table, his cluelessness really was adorable.

"Because you're cute," said Axel leaning forward over the rice bowl, "and I liked the way you looked, walking around all by yourself."

Riku looked back down at his food and resumed his eating slowly, he was starting to get used to the red-head's presence.

"Why? Am I too creepy for you?" asked Axel grinning mischievously.

"No it's not that!" said Riku hastily, "I was just wondering…"

And he was so polite and quiet, Axel added these two qualities to the list of reasons he liked Riku he was making in his head.

"Are you going to eat that?" asked Riku suddenly, gesturing at a barbecue pork dumpling sitting untouched n Axel's plate.

"Nope," said Axel shaking his red spikes ever so slightly. Riku swiped the dumpling with ease and quickly starting taking tiny bites out of it. Axel smirked; his list was growing a little too long to remember now.

-----

Riku first realized it on the drive to his house in Axel's car (Axel had refused to let Riku walk home by himself this late at night). At first he brushed it off and figured that it wouldn't matter. But one can only amuse oneself by counting the signs on the side of the road for so long… And so it didn't take long for Riku's eyes to start darting back to the clock on the dashboard every few seconds…

Finally after a few minutes of his worried glances Axel noticed Riku's anxious state and said, "You okay?"

"Huh? What?" asked Riku quickly.

"Something wrong?" repeated the older of the two.

"Nothing," said Riku quietly but then he said, "It's just… I was supposed to be back at my house forty minutes ago."

Axel looked at the clock and then raised his eyebrows at the younger, "Forty minutes ago being… eight o'clock?"

"Mm-hm," said Riku nodding fervently, chewing on his lips in worry.

"You have an eight o'clock curfew?" he asked, trying to absorb this.

"Yes," said Riku.

"And just how old are you?" asked Axel.

"Sixteen remember?" Riku looked at the red-head strangely, he'd already told him his age., why was he asking again?

"Isn't that a little early?"

"Um, well," Riku thought about this, he knew for a fact Sora and Kairi went home much later than he did, "I guess, but my parents worry about me a lot."

"That's just plain sad," muttered Axel, honestly some parents could be so over-protective.

"How's it sad?" asked Riku blankly.

"I- you know," said Axel waving his hand around, he didn't want to insult Riku, "you got to get out a little and live!"

Riku stared at Axel for a moment before saying, "So… um…"

"It's fine," said Axel carelessly, "let's get you home."

"Okay," said Riku settling down a little.

Throughout the rest of the car ride the two talked about pointless random things, some of the topics were pretty stupid. Others eventually led to something deeper.

"So," said Axel cheerfully after the two had finished comparing plain tooth picks with colored ones you find in supply stores, "what are you thinking about now?"

"Hm…" said Riku thoughtfully, "Tofu."

Axel blinked, "Tofu?"

"Yup, tofu."

"Why tofu?"

"I don't know. What are you thinking about right now?"

"Um, you. Your hair. It's pretty and I like the way it moves when the car turns."

"Okay, so why my hair? Why are you thinking about my hair?" when Axel failed to respond to this Riku smirked triumphantly and said, "See? Why tofu? Why my hair? Why anything?" Axel thought about this for a moment.

"I don't know," he said honestly, "I guess we can't explain those kinds of things."

"Exactly," said Riku smiling and settling down a little.

-----

Mrs. Ishida nearly flew through the roof when the door bell rang at eight fifty six that night. Instead she hurtled to the door and threw it open.

"Hi mom," said Riku smiling nervously.

"Riku!" she cried flinging herself onto her oldest son, red hair meshing with silver as she smothered him.

"Thank God!" Natashi as he too joined in the group hug.

"I'm sorry I'm late," said Riku, "I got held up."

"It's okay sweetie, I'm just glad you're back," hushed Ritsuko Ishida gripping her son as if she were afraid he would disappear if she let go for an instant, "here come inside."

Axel watched this scene from his car a good twenty feet away. He had to admit, though he was surprised by the fact that Riku's entire family had red hair, he was even more surprised by how worried they'd obviously bee.

"So Riku wasn't exaggerating," he murmured as he entered his car and drove off.

_What a weird family… That boy needs to live a little… Maybe I can help him out with that!_

-----

Axel didn't see hide or hair of Riku for the next few days, and when he finally did run into his new found friend-boyfriend… Acquaintance… Thingy…

It was by complete coincidence.

"Where should we go next?" asked Larxene as she took another sip of her slushy. She, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Roxas and Marluxia were at the mall hanging out.

"Let's check out Walden Books," suggested Roxas.

"Bookworm," accused Larxene.

"Manga freak!"

"Shorty!"

"Weird hair!"

Larxene took a deep breath and let out a long string of curses only she could keep up with, during her speech Axel covered his mouth and made scandalized noises, Luxord swallowed his gum, Marluxia clapped his hands over Roxas's ears and Demyx uttered a girly scream.

"Ha!" crowed Larxene.

"Yikes," said Axel eyebrows still raised.

"Looks like I wi- Ouch! That hurt you little fuck!" cried Larxene as she promptly tripped the one who had oh so clumsily run into her.

A quick "Ah!" left the person's mouth before their face met the pavement of the outdoor mall hard.

"That'll teach ya bastard," grumbled Larxene as she got to her feet and brushed herself off. That was when Axel noticed who was currently sprawled out on the floor.

"Riku!" he exclaimed kneeling down to help the other to his feet.

"Oh hi Axel," said the silver haired teen, he sounded a little dazed by the impact, "Are these your friends?"

"Never mind that, holy shit, are you okay?" asked the pyro with concern lacing his voice.

"I'm fine, Axel," said Riku insistently, but Axel didn't like the way he was swaying a little or how he was gripping the back of his head.

"You sure?" he asked again.

"Yup," said Riku removing his hand and standing straight, though he still looked phased.

"Alright," said Axel slowly, "so how are you doing?"

"I'm doing good," said Riku, "Are these your friends?"

"Yeah," said Axel pointing out each of them as he said their name, "This is Roxas, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia and-," his eyes narrowed, "Larxene, apologize."

"Pish! No way, the loser bumped into me first," she retorted.

"Larxene apologize. Now."

Everyone turned to look at Demyx who was unusually solemn.

"O-kay… Whatever. Sorry I guess," said Larxene not taking her eyes off the blonde sitar player.

"That's okay," said Riku before turning his attention to Demyx, "Nice to see you again Demyx."

Demyx nodded slowly, "Good to see you! How are your mom and dad?"

"Worried," said Riku simply then he added, "as always."

"Oh well," sighed Demyx, "what can you do?"

"Not much I guess," replied Riku, "but they hardly ever let me out of their sight anymore ever since Axel held me up until eight fifty six and they freaked out on me."

Demyx's eyes narrowed, "You took him out past eight?" he addressed the question to Axel but Riku was the one who answered.

"Mm-hm, we went out for Chinese food."

"Is that so?"

"Uh-huh, um… Axel can you let go of my arm? I need to go."

"Wait a sec.," said Axel keeping a firm grip on Riku's arm, "how do you two know each other?"

"It's complicated," said Demyx, then he noticed how Riku was squirming under Axel's clutch, "Axel let him go."

Axel released him and Riku started running off, he gave a wave over his shoulder and called, "Bye Axel! Bye Demyx!"

"See ya!"

"So…" said Axel slowly, "how do you know Riku?"

"Hm? Oh," Demyx looked at the ground, "well first of all Axel… What did you do to him?"

The question surprised Axel, "Nothing, I just ran into him at the theater and took him out to that new Chinese restaurant."

"You idiot!" shouted Demyx smacking Axel upside the head, "How could you?! Of all the people you chased him down?!"

"I didn't say chased down!" hollered Axel in reply.

"But you did didn't you?" asked Demyx slowly.

"Well yeah… But so? How do you know him anyways?"

"Okay," said Demyx running a hand through his hair, "Remember when I spray painted the teachers chair right before he sat on it so that it looked like he'd-

"Not in front of Roxas!" shrieked Marluxia as he hugged the younger blonde.

"Marluxia get off," droned Roxas.

"You got in so much trouble for that prank," drawled Larxene.

"Yeah," nodded Axel.

"Okay so remember how I was forced to work at the teenage rehab center?" prompted Demyx.

"Yes…" said Axel slowly, all the while wondering where Demyx was going with this.

Demyx gave Axel a hard stare that looked so out of place on the sitar player's normally cheerful place.

Axel stared back. And he put two and two together.

"You mean he's…?"

"He was in the psychiatric area," said Demyx quietly, "something like brain trauma or whatever… I'm not sure… I talked to him a few times though. Strange kid, I can't believe you didn't notice it about him."

Axel took a few minutes to lets this sink in. Larxene and Marluxia were all eyeing him worriedly. Roxas was grinning ear to ear.

-----

"Hey Sora! Kairi!"

Kairi turned and shot Riku a smile, "Hey, glad you could make it."

"Sorry if I'm a little late!"

"No it's fine," said Sora, the trio had met up at the park to do homework together. Although the group's study sessions had begun because Mrs. Ishida had asked Kairi and Sora to help Riku keep up with his school work after the incident.

However it had turned out that Riku was still just as bright as ever and he was usually the first one done with the work. Sora was the last.

So like always Riku finished first and as usual he'd brought his sketch book and colored pencils to keep himself occupied while his friends caught up to him.

"What are you drawing? You've been working on the same picture for a while now…" said Kairi when she finished her math.

"Hm? Oh yeah, it's the first time I've drawn him and I'm drawing him from memory too so… It's taking a while," replied Riku in that far off voice he tended to get whenever he was getting tired. _And when Riku was getting tired it was always best to go easy on him_, Kairi reminded herself, quickly erasing the group's plans to head out to the park. She decided that if Riku was getting worn out they should see a movie instead.

"Who are you drawing then?" asked Sora.

"Axel," came the day-dreamy response.

"Who's Axel?" asked Kairi kindly.

"A friend."

"You have a friend named Axel?" asked Kairi.

"Yup, he took me out to Chinese food a few days ago, we had fun," said Riku, red colored pencil flying across the page.

"Is that why you came home late that day?" asked Sora.

Riku looked up from his art and frowned a little, "Yeah, I didn't realize what time it was…Sorry."

"That's okay," said Kairi trying to change the topic, "Can we meet Axel?"

"Okay, I'll ask him the next time I see him… Whenever that may be."

Kairi took in Riku's half-lidded slightly droopy eyes and the way his pencil had stopped; hovering over the paper strangely. She instantly decided to go rent a movie instead of heading out to the theaters. Riku was pretty drained.

"I'm done!" announced Sora, "C'mon lets go to the-

"Blockbuster," cut in Kairi firmly, "we'll go rent a blockbuster and bring it back. C'mon Sora!"

"But I thought-

Kairi jerked her head in Riku's direction and Sora immediately shut up.

They were Riku's friends, and they were going to make it as easy as they could for him to get through this… "Phase" of his…

**Author's Note: **So… wow… I've basically been typing non-stop today and… well! It paid off! So yeah, to those who didn't figure it out; Riku's of hurt mentality (delicately put) in this story… And yes the rating has gone up because… Well I've basically got this whole story planned out now and well… There's gonna be some… stuff… Happening later on.

Reviews make me write people!

bliss


	3. Drawn Feelings

Chapter Three

Riku was still drawing Axel when Sora and Kairi got back from Blockbuster.

"We're back," announced Kairi, "ready for the movie?"

"Hm? Sure," said Riku not even glancing up from his art, Kairi peeked over her shoulder.

"Wow Riku that looks great! It's Axel right?" she asked.

"Mm-hm," said Riku finally putting the emerald green pencil as he finished Axel's eyes.

"How old is he?" asked Sora, eyes skimming over the picture; he was impressed by how real it looked.

"Twenty," said Riku simply, beginning to put his pencils away and closing his sketchbook.

Kairi raised her eyebrows, now she was getting a little worried, "And why did you end up going out for Chinese food?"

"He chased me down in the mall."

"You mean you started talking to a stranger?" asked Kairi, taking on her motherly pose and facing Riku.

"No," fervent shaking of the head, "he ran up to me and started blabbering away and by the time I realized he was a stranger, he wasn't a stranger."

It took Kairi a minute to contemplate this but when she did she frowned, "Well I'm not sure if that makes sense," she began, "but I guess since you guys ate together and he didn't do anything it should be okay. Did he say _why _he just started talking to you?"

"Hm… Oh! Yeah he said-…" suddenly Riku wasn't sure if he should be telling them what Axel said. It just didn't seem right.

"What?" asked Sora.

"Nevermind…" murmured Riku distractedly.

"Nevermind what?" asked Kairi shrewdly, "Riku, what did he say?"

"Nothing, I didn't ask," he squirmed uncomfortably under Kairi's penetrating glare.

"Okay, let's just watch the movie," said the red headed girl slowly, still eyeing Riku out of the corner of her eye.

"What movie?" asked Riku completely forgetting about his previous awkward position.

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," said Kairi.

"Again?"

"It was Sora's idea."

"What? It's a good movie!"

"But we've seen it thirteen times this year!"

"Well…" Sora struggled for words, "touché."

"Touché? That's all you could come up with?" asked Kairi sarcastically, Sora yelped in protest and Riku covered his mouth to hide his laughter.

"Go easy on him Kai, you know how Sora is," said the silver haired teen.

"Oh that's right, sorry Sora," said Kairi feigning apologetic.

"Buttheads," grumbled Sora under his breath.

Once the movie started the three settled down with Riku in the middle, a bowl of fresh popcorn sitting on his lap.

It didn't take long for them to settle into the movie and get caught up in the action. Every now and then Riku would squirm a little or shiver, but Sora and Kairi would move closer together to give him a little more stability.

Finally during the second task (for those of you who don't know it's about halfway through the movie) Kairi felt a familiar sort of warmth hit her shoulder, she looked down to see Riku fast asleep on it.

"Sora," she whispered, Sora looked away from the screen and glanced at her before shifting his gaze to Riku and smiling.

"Let's turn the volume down a little," he whispered back, Kairi nodded before complying.

-----

Riku had had an overall miserable day at school the day following the Harry Potter Sunday. He'd been unusually drifty that day (more so than usual), needless to say he'd neglected to take notes. When the bell finally rang signaling the school day's end a wave of relief washed over him.

It quickly vanished when he spotted his empty notebook as he packed his bag.

He stared at it, expression just as blank as the pages. Then he quickly snatched up his other notebooks and flipped through the pages. No new notes had been added.

He skimmed the hallway as if hoping some spare notes would appear in the walls. No such luck.

"Shit," he muttered.

"What's wrong?" asked Olette as she came up from behind him. Ever since… well the incident she had been very supportive of him. Well the whole school had but still she had really taken it upon herself to help him get up and stay up on his feet.

Before it had happened she and Riku had been on good terms and even dated for a brief period before deciding it just wasn't right.

"Well? Something wrong?"

Riku blinked and looked back down at Olette, "No nothing it's just…" He sighed before opening his blank notebook, "I haven't done any work today at all."

He bit his lip nervously, Olette had always been such a stickler about getting schoolwork done… It was her job to keep her friends on time with their work (at least that's what she believed).

"It's okay," said Olette patting his shoulder reassuringly, "you can copy mine if you want. God knows they're neater than Kairi and Sora's."

"Wh-What?" asked Riku taken aback.

"You don't have to, I'm just saying it'll be easier to read mine," she said quickly, "Here, take them," she shoved them into his arms, "I don't need to study today so it's fine! Bye Riku!" She waved cheerfully and headed off to talk to Hayner and Pence.

Riku stared at the notebooks lying in his arms and sighed. Everyone acted so nice (_too _nice) around him these days. It's like they were waiting for him to break down (again) if they did something to hurt his feelings.

But as long as they were, it wouldn't hurt to copy Olette's notes; he was sure they were perfect.

Riku began walking back to his house, feeling downright pathetic. Now he was borrowing notes from the girl who yelled at even her closest friends to go get their own.

"Hey Riku," said Tidus bounding up with a blitzball in hand, "Me and Wakka are gonna go play a few rounds, you in?"

Riku looked slowly from Tidus's smiling face and then back to the ball in his arms. And Tidus could already tell from that far off look that even if Riku wanted to Tidus would have to stop him cause today was one of those off days where Riku's worse than usual.

"No, not today, sorry," said Riku; Tidus breathed a sigh of relief; he wasn't good at making up excuses to stop Riku from doing stuff that he shouldn't. Like that one time Riku had started climbing a paopu tree and Tidus had spastically yelled:

"No! That tree's dirty! I saw a chicken masturbate it!"

Not one of Tidus's brightest moments at all.

"Oh okay," he said walking with Riku to his house, "gonna start on homework?"

"Yeah, plus I have to copy Olette's notes," said Riku ringing the doorbell to his home (his parents didn't trust him with keys anymore).

"Olette's letting you copy her notes?" asked Tidus in awe, "Man, I wish she'd let me do that…" Then he bit his tongue.

"Oh well, what can you do? Unwanted charity and all."

Tidus blinked at Riku, unwanted charity? Did he mean…? He was getting upset by all the attention?

"Oh hello Riku dear," said Mrs. Ishida warmly as she threw open the door expertly enveloping him in a warm embrace, "hi Tidus."

"Hello ma'am," said Tidus nodding in acknowledgment.

"Would you like to come in dear?" asked the kind woman.

"Nope," said Tidus good-naturedly, "I'm off the play blitz with Wakka."

"Oh well that's nice," she replied taking Riku by the hand and closing the door.

Tidus watched Riku's expression carefully as the door shut; he seemed so bored by all the added love. Maybe he was sick of it; Tidus supposed he would be if he were in Riku's situation.

-----

Riku was sitting on a park bench sketching a robin that was currently attempting to swallow a whole worm.

The robin gagged and spluttered and choked and quite suddenly… It stopped all movement and collapsed in the grass. Riku's expression didn't change throughout this whole little show, though many of the other onlookers did.

Some laughed and joked about the stupid bird, others thought it was totally awesome and then there were the sentimental ones that felt sorry for it.

Riku looked back at his drawing. And then at the robin. And then the drawing. His eyes flicked back and forth for a while as he wondered what he should do now…

It was weird though, he thought. The robin is dead but it's still alive in the picture. Even though the real thing is gone forever he had managed to save at least one memory of it.

Slowly and carefully he wrote at the bottom of the picture in fine print:

_"Good-bye Mr. Robin"_

He smiled, he was pretty sure the robin would like to be remembered in some way, shape or form like that. He was almost positive he wanted to be remembered. And after all, very few robins are remembered after their deaths.

_People always get remembered…_

Riku blinked wondering why he'd just thought that. Thoughts of tofu entered his mind and he remembered his conversation with Axel.

_"I guess we can't explain those kinds of things…"_

Riku shook his head, it was true. Now he just needed to clear his thoughts (which had been more muddled that usual lately) and start focusing.

What he thought had been true though, people always got remembered. There would always be an obituary in the papers no matter how minute the person's life was. Riku didn't like obituaries though. Either they should remember the person correctly and in full or not at all.

_"Sho Ionza: Father of three, married, worked as a librarian for thirty years. Killed in a –_

"Riku?"

Riku's head snapped around to see Kairi standing there, two snow cones in hand. A blue and a pink. Riku took the blue one from her as she and Sora sat down on the bench. His hands were shaking.

"You okay?" asked Sora worriedly.

"Fine," said Riku hastily though this word only made his shaking increase ten fold, "just fine."

-----

_Trigonometry is a stupid messed up class, _though Axel as he scanned the titles of text books in the public library. His fingers traced the titles of the spines until he found the one he needed.

"Aha!" he exclaimed softly, "Found you."

"Quiet," hushed the librarian. Axel grinned apologetically and glimpsed at her. She was pretty for a librarian and young too. Short straight blonde hair bringing out green eyes wonderfully and a green outfit of various shades too; if Axel weren't gay he would've tried something suave right about now.

Instead he took his book and sat down at the nearest desk, thumbing through the pages, seeing numbers here and there and difficult looking problems that Axel was sure he'd be happier never seeing…

He sighed and skimmed the room with his eyes-… And then he spotted who was sitting just a couple tables away.

"Riku!" he called without thinking.

"Shush!" insisted the librarian, Axel cast her a wary glance before making his way to the desk Riku was sitting at.

"That librarian's got it out for me," muttered Axel as he slid into the seat across from Riku, "I can't believe how strict she is."

Riku looked up as if seeing Axel for the first time, Axel noticed his eyes were a little red and teary looking but decided not to mention it. He still remembered his conversation with Demyx.

"Oh hello," said Riku quietly hands resting in his lap.

"She's new you know," said Axel, organizing his notebooks and pencils on Riku's table.

"Who's new?"

"The librarian," said Axel gesturing towards the green clad lady, "she's new."

"Oh," Riku lowered his gaze, "I know…"

"What you got a crush?" asked Axel jokingly even though he was waiting with baited breath, he still didn't know if Riku was straight or not.

"N-No! It's not that!" stuttered Riku somehow managing to keep his voice down, "I don't really like-… I mean…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

Axel shrugged there was no use in forcing an answer out of Riku.

_"Not in his state anyway."_

Demyx's voice echoed through Axel's head and suddenly he felt quite nervous. If he was in rehab well… That wasn't a good sign.

"What are you doing here?" asked Axel nervously trying to strike up a conversation.

"Just looking around," answered Riku dismally.

"You're not reading?"

"No."

"Well why are you in a library if you're not going to read?" asked Axel curiously.

"I like it here," said Riku staring up at the big ceiling, "it's nice here."

His voice was so distant Axel wondered why he hadn't noticed before.

"My friends want to meet you."

Axel blinked, "What?"

"My friends… Sora and Kairi… They want to meet you," explained Riku. Axel only tugged at his collar nervously, he didn't need a group of… special people to look after! He really didn't!

"R-Really?" he asked, "Well maybe you should introduce us sometime."

"They're really nice," Riku carried on as if Axel hadn't spoke and the reminiscent gleam in his eyes were starting to scare Axel, "but they've been really over protective after the-

He stopped and blinked at Axel confusedly, as if surprised that he had been about to say what he'd been about to say.

Axel watched him anxiously, "I have to go," said Riku standing up quickly but Axel grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

"Let's exchange phone numbers," said Axel, sure it was on impulse and yes this whole thing could easily go wrong. But he didn't care. All he saw was Riku; lost and innocent in a world of people who wanted to take advantage of him.

And apparently those two- Sora and Kairi- were normal. Maybe Axel could ask them about Riku's past.

"What's your phone number? Here! Write it down!" the red head pushed a piece of paper on Riku and watched Riku hesitantly write the number down.

Things were falling into place now…

**Author's Note: **So… Now they've exchanged numbers… Where it will go from here well… We'll see!

bliss


	4. Run with Insanity

Chapter Four

Mrs. Ishida was a nice woman. She really was. But she didn't handle stress very well at all. Because of this she often grew over-protective of her son.

Which is why she of course freaked out when her son came home that day a little teary eyed and down trodden.

"Oh my goodness! Riku! What happened are you okay? Did something happen honey? Was someone mean to you? Just tell me who and I'll rip them apart!" she continued to rant as she straightened his clothes, fidgeting horribly.

"I'm fine," murmured Riku pushing his mom's shaking hands away a little irritably, "nothing's wrong at all okay? Stop worrying."

His mother looked a little taken aback by this behavior but nonetheless stopped with her pampering.

"Something wrong?" asked Mr. Ishida.

"No everything's fine," muttered Riku brushing past his dad and walking straight into his bedroom.

"I'm worried about him," whispered Ritsuko, eyes trailing up the stairs her son had disappeared up.

"I'm sure he's fine," said her husband breezily, "he's been a little off lately that's all. It happens sometimes. He could be like this for weeks."

"Still I wonder why," said Ritsuko.

-----

"Hey Riku!"

"Go away Resa," said Riku in a dull voice; it was obvious this was routine for him. A small red head girl came his room, unfazed by his order for her to leave.

"What are you doing?" she chirped.

"Reading. Go away." It was obvious they'd had this conversation before.

"What'cha reading?" she pressed on, still not concerned with his bored tone.

"None of your business."

"Shakespeare?" she asked in an appalled tone upon spotting the cover, "Why'd you want to read something so boring and hard?"

"It's for school."

"You sure do a lot of work for school."

"Yeah, well, I'm in high school."

"So? I'm in school too!"

"You're in kindergarten. That's like daycare."

"Is not!"

"…"

"Riku?"

"…"

"You're no fun anymore. You used to play with me!"

"…"

"Hmph! Fine! I'm leaving!"

Riku's expression didn't change once throughout the conversation, though the slightest hint of a frown appeared when his sister stomped out of the room huffily.

"Whatever," he said after a few moments of silence.

Then the phone rang.

"Hello?" his mother had answered it. Talking on the other line.

"I'm sorry who did you say this was?" More inaudible babble.

"I see…" Mrs. Ishida looked up from the phone and called, "Riku, do you have a friend named Axel?"

Riku bolted out of bed and zoomed down the stairs snatching the phone from his mom and marching back to his room without sparing her a word.

Ritsuko heard Riku ask, "Hello?" before he shut his door.

"Hi," Axel's voice came over a sounding a little different over the phone but Riku could still tell it was him.

"Hi Axel," said Riku putting his book away; there would be no focusing with Axel on the phone.

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

The question caught Riku off guard but he answered nonetheless, "No… Well I am seeing Sora and Kairi at Chill."

(A/N: Chill is a sort of hangout for my school. It's right across the street from the school building so a lot of us go there to hang out. They play cool music and serve bubble tea! It's way awesome!)

"You're going to Chill?" asked Axel, licking his lips subconsciously, "Cool, mind if I tag along? You said your friends wanted to meet me."

"I think that'll be okay," said Riku, sweeping the room with his eyes. He wasn't sure why but the prospect of knowing he would see Axel made him oddly excited. For once he actually knew when he would see him again. It wasn't just running into him by chance.

"Cool," said Axel, "when are you guys going?"

"Um," that was when it hit Riku, "I don't really know. Sora and Kairi usually just meet up with me and drag me along wherever…"

"You want to call them and then just call me back?"

"Sure, yeah I can do that," said Riku, "bye."

"Bye."

Riku hung up the phone before quickly punching in Kairi's phone number. Kairi was usually more reliable with these kinds of things.

"Hey Kairi?"

"Oh hi Riku!" Kairi said cheerfully over the other line.

"It's Riku? Hi Riku!"

Now there was another voice.

"Who's that?" asked Riku skeptically, it certainly didn't sound like Sora.

"Oh Selphie's over right now, but it's okay. What do you want?"

"Nothing I-…" Riku stopped to think, between Kairi's talking and Selphie's squeals he was getting confused. _Why did I call?_

"Riku?" Kairi's voice became worried, "Selphie shut up."

Immediate silence.

"Hey you okay?"

"Riku?"

Ugh, two people talking at once. Riku put a hand to his head and gripped some of his hair, "It's nothing I'm fine… I just called to…" He gave a frustrated sigh.

_Why couldn't he remember?_

Everything had been so much more confusing than usual lately. _What's wrong with me? _He groaned internally.

"Riku, what's wrong?"

"Is he okay?"

Riku was sweating, feeling an odd sort of pressure closing in around him, "I'm fine," he said hoarsely, frustrated tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

"Why did you call? Think hard."

Riku looked around and his eyes fell onto the open sketchbook lying on his desk. It was opened to a picture of a certain red-head.

"Axel!" he exclaimed.

"What is Axel there with you?"

"Who's Axel?"

"Oh he's just a friend of R-

"When are we meeting at Chill tomorrow?" asked Riku cutting in before the confusion sunk back in.

"Hm? Oh! Um… Four o'clock why?"

"Axel wants to come too."

"Really? That's great!"

"Are you sure?" asked Riku uneasily.

"Yeah, sure I'm sure," answered Kairi eagerly, "I can't wait to meet him!"

"Oh okay, bye."

Riku hung up the phone before Kairi could respond and lay back on his bed. That conversation was exhausting.

Suddenly the room seemed a lot less hot and he found he could breathe easier.

"I'm so pathetic," he murmured. _Two people start talking at once over the phone and I start freaking out._

Slowly he picked up the phone and punched in Axel's cell number (he checked it briefly in his phone book first).

"Sup?" came Axel's greeting.

"Hello Axel."

"Oh hey! So what time? Is it okay for me to come?"

"Yeah," said Riku enthusiastically, "Kairi's really excited! Um, tomorrow at... Four o'clock…"

"Great! See you then!"

"Uh-huh."

"Later!"

"Bye!"

Riku shut the phone. Well that had been difficult enough for him.

He sighed and walked over to his desk. _Might as well copy Olette's notes._

He flipped through her orange notebook until he got to the pages that was appropriately dated and took out a pen. He began jotting down notes expertly and word for word; Olette had never steered him wrong before.

When he finished he closed his notebook but paused before closing Olette's. Her notes were so neat; she must have really been paying attention in class.

_My notes used to be this organized, _he thought morosely as he skimmed his notes, all of which were sloppy and had spaces that were blank; showing that the person who had written them had obviously not been paying attention the whole time.

Riku pulled his legs up onto the chair and hugged them to himself, more tears pricking at his eyes.

"What's wrong with me?" he asked in a squeaky voice that did not suit him, "Why can't I think right?"

No answer came so instead Riku buried his face in his knees and cried to himself quietly. He bit his bottom lip, not allowing a single noise to escape him.

"Riku I finished the laundry-…"

His mother stopped and put the laundry basket down; she swiftly walked the rest of the way across his room.

Spotting the neat notes in Olette's book she glanced at Riku's notes that jumped around and made little sense.

"Oh Riku," she whispered hugging him close and resting her head on his, tears continued to fall silently from her son's eyes.

"Why?" asked Riku, damning his voice for cracking, "Why aren't my notes as neat anymore? Why can't I even think straight?"

"Riku, you're fine… You've just been upset lately ever since-

"No!" cried Riku pushing his mom away roughly, "You don't get it! I was just on the phone with Kairi and Selphie was over at her house and they were both talking at once! Mom, I couldn't even think or remember why I'd called! It- I- I don't like it…"

Riku's mother stared at him blankly for a while before moving back in to hug him and this time he didn't pull away; instead he just let her hold him as he cried some more (but he didn't let any sound out).

Riku didn't pay attention to how long they were there and Ritsuko didn't care if it made her son feel better.

At one point Resa looked in and opened her mouth to say something but was quickly shushed by her father, Natashi.

"Come on Resa," he murmured, "let's go play a board game."

-----

"Ho hum!" sang Axel a frown adorning his face as he put his hands on his hips and glared at his wardrobe as if demanding it to show him the right outfit.

"What's up with you?" asked Demyx coming into the room.

"Demyx," Axel's eyes narrowed, "How'd you get in my room?"

"Your mom let me in," said the sitar player simply.

"Remind me to tell her not to do that anymore," said the red-head.

"Meanie," pouted Demyx but his expression quickly cleared and he asked again, "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to pick out an outfit nimrod," snapped Axel, "Isn't obvious? I mean I am standing in front of my closet _that doesn't seem to have what I need!" _He hissed through clenched teeth.

"I see," said Demyx pensively, "and why is what you wear today so important?" he asked shrewdly.

"I've got a date," said Axel nonchalantly, then he added, "well it's more of a get together really… It's not exactly a date…"

"And who is going to be there?" asked Demyx, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Riku and two of his friends," said Axel not meeting Demyx's eyes.

"Axel," Demyx's voice took on his lecturing tone, "you're telling me you're still seeing him?"

"I keep bumping into him!" Axel gave a frustrated cry, "It's not my fault! Anyway, it would be rude to blow him off now…"

"Axel, how many times have you seen him since the mall?" asked the younger blonde.

"I don't know… a few," said Axel absentmindedly ruffling through his clothing, "Do you think this is too suggestive?" asked Axel holding up a pair of tight brown leather pants to his hips.

"Axel I-

"You're right it is," said Axel quickly putting the pants back, "I don't want to scare him off."

"Axel you're crazy!" exclaimed Demyx.

"You mean like Riku?" asked Axel quietly, looking Demyx straight in the eyes.

"I didn't say that," said Demyx.

"But you meant it," Axel accused.

"No I didn't I-

"He's not-…" Axel though for a moment, "I don't think he's that bad."

"If you say so," said Demyx running a hand through his hair wearily, "I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be careful," said Axel in a carefree manner, "What about these?" He held up a pair of tan pants that were slightly baggy and came with one long looping belt.

"That's fine," Demyx sighed, giving up the fight to make his friend see reason.

"Great!" said Axel cheerfully, "Now what shirt…? Too girly… Too old… Too… Ugh."

"Where are you meeting him?"

"Hm? Oh, at Chill," came the reply.

"That's nice I guess," said Demyx, "and you say two of his friends will be there? Who?"

"Two girls named Sora and Kairi, I think," said Axel.

"Sora and Kairi? Are you sure they're both girls?" asked Demyx with raised brows, "at the rehab center there was a brown haired boy and a red headed girl that visited Riku a lot. They looked like they might be his friends… Sure it's not them?"

"One of them might be," said Axel after pulling out a dark brown t-shirt, "but Sora and Kairi are both girls' names."

"Oh well," said Demyx, "guess we'll see."

"Yup."

"Have fun, be careful."

"I will."

-----

When Axel got to Chill the next day on his bike he did in fact see a brunette boy and red haired girl standing outside Chill.

"Are you Sora and Kairi?" he asked peddling up slowly.

"Yes!" they chorused, the boy held out a hand for Axel, "I'm Sora!"

"Oh wow you're a dude!" said Axel laughing a little.

"Excuse me?" asked Sora sending his female friend a glare as she doubled over laughing.

"Sorry," said Axel off-handedly, "but Sora is a girls' name y'know."

"Yeah," said the girl-Kairi?-, "he gets that a lot."

"And you're Kairi?" asked Axel, holding out his hand.

"Yes," she said sweetly taking his hand and shaking it in a friendly manner.

"Where's Riku?"

Kairi and Sora's faces grew instantly solemner. Sora cast Axel an anxious glance.

"What? What happened?" asked Axel worriedly.

"Well he…" Kairi's voice trailed off as if she wasn't sure what to say.

"Does it have to do with rehab?" asked Axel anxiously.

"How'd you know about that?" asked Sora, eyes going wide.

"A friend of mine used to volunteer at the center," explained Axel, "His name's Demyx… I don't know if you've met…"

"Is he the guy with the blonde mullet slash Mohawk thingy?" asked Kairi.

"Yeah, that's him," said Axel, "he calls it a mulhawk."

"Yeah we met him once," said Kairi, "he was nice. He and Riku got along pretty well… At least they talked a few times."

"So what happened to Riku?" asked Axel trying to get back on track.

"Well he had a bit of a melt down yesterday," said Kairi, "I was talking to him on the phone right before too. He did sound kind of panicky."

"You were talking to him?" Kairi nodded, "I talked to him right after you talked to him. He said you were excited about meeting me."

Kairi looked mildly surprised, "Well that makes sense… How did he sound?"

"Fine," said Axel but upon seeing their disbelief he added, "I mean, he was just as normal as ever. I didn't hear anything weird. He was a little scatter brained though but that's all. "

"That's odd," said Kairi, "maybe he just got confused because I was talking to Selphie and him at the same time."

"Does it really matter that much?" asked Axel with knitted brows, "It can't be that hard for him to focus right?"

"Well actually yes it is," said Kairi, "he's pretty foggy… mental wise I mean. He doesn't think too clearly."

"Yeah," said Sora nodding fervently causing brown spikes to fly, "I caught him just sitting in a chair staring at the wall once. It was so creepy."

"He was staring at the wall?" asked Axel slowly, "Why? What's wrong with him?"

Kairi sighed, "C'mon, lets go inside."

They all ordered their drinks and settled down in the modern fake leather chairs.

"How long till Riku gets back out?" asked Axel stirring his drink. It was hard to believe that only minutes after he'd talked to him, Riku had been… Had been what? Curled up in a corner with a knife? Rocking himself in a little ball of insecurity? Staring at a wall?

"Probably just a few days," said Kairi, "they usually just keep him there for a little under a week so that he can get whatever it is worked out in his mind a little. They say it's best for him to be out in the real world though. So he can get back to functioning normally."

"I see," said Axel quickly absorbing all this new information.

"So," said Sora, "you and Riku went out for Chinese?"

"Yup," said Axel proudly.

"And why did you just decide to flag him down randomly?" asked Kairi skeptically.

"I didn't want to eat alone, and he looked so cute! So I decided to chase him down and ask him out," Kairi and Sora's eyes widened considerably and Axel wondered briefly if they were homophobic.

"You mean… you're gay," said Kairi slowly, "and you like him?"

"Uh, well I guess, I haven't really thought about it like that yet but sure! What the heck right?" his smile faded upon seeing the looks on their faces.

"Riku's not-…" Sora's voice faded off, "Well actually I don't know if he is or not… I guess he could be," he looked thoughtful for a moment before turning his attention back to Axel, "but you know he's really not ready for a relationship right now."

"I think you're wrong," said Axel, Sora and Kairi frowned and raised their eyebrows, "I think he could use some companionship right now."

"He's got us," said Kairi, sounding a tad defensive.

"Yeah, we're his best friends," protested Sora.

"And you don't think he feels at all like a third wheel around you two?" asked Axel keenly. Sora and Kairi exchanged glances before turning glares on Axel.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Kairi.

"I think you know," Axel teased, "you two like each other don't you? Don't deny it, it's obvious. And I'll bet Riku knows too."

"You're wrong-

"And you know what else?" asked Axel voice rising, "I'll bet it makes him feel even more like a burden than he already does."

"That's not it at all," insisted Sora, "we- he doesn't- you- you're wrong."

"Whatever you say," said Axel, sipping his bubble tea.

"I hope you're not trying to tell us that you plan on somehow convincing Riku on going out with you," said Kairi with narrowed eyes.

"Sure am," said Axel voice dripping with challenge. He didn't give a shit if these two were Riku's best friends, or if they stuck with him longer than Axel had (after all Axel had just met Riku). They were being over protective. A little exposure to the real world would do Riku some good, especially if he wanted to get better.

"You leave him alone," said Kairi, "getting into a relationship right now is not what he needs. He needs things to stay as normal as possible in order to get back into reality."

"And you're saying that all this added love and attention is normal?" asked Axel, raising one eyebrow amusedly.

"It- he's- you-we… We're just looking out for him a little until he gets through this phase!"

"You're clingy!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

"I think I'm closer to being right than you are!"

"What would you know about this?"

"More than you apparently!"

"You're so full of yourself!"

"This is coming from the one who's too over protective of his best friend to admit that he likes a girl!"

"We don't like each other!!!"

"Oh wow, you're in sync…"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"I will."

"Is that a threat?"

"Do you think it is?"

"Oh it's on shorty!"

"Bring it homo!"

"HEY YOU KIDS!"

All three teens turned to blink at the manager of Chill. That's when they realized that everyone in the joint was staring at them.

"If you're gonna fight over your friend get out of my shop!"

"Yes sir," murmured Kairi bowing slightly.

"Whatever," scoffed Axel grabbing his drink and tossing it out.

"Sorry," said Sora hurriedly.

The three walked out of the shop in silence and refused to acknowledge each other once they were out on the street. Axel headed left, and Sora and Kairi headed right.

-----

Riku never had liked going to rehab. It always felt like he was taking a step backward in getting better. Which, he reminded himself, he was.

But it hadn't been that bad this time really. He'd had worse break downs before.

But his mother was worried so she signed him up for a few meetings this week. Riku didn't really care, all this meant for him was that he'd miss the second half of school. School really hadn't seemed that important to him ever since his first trip with insanity. As Demyx had called.

Riku wondered why Demyx had stopped volunteering at the rehab center. He'd always had fun talking to Demyx. But then again Demyx had told Riku numerous times he was only there because his principal had sent him there as punishment for a prank.

Maybe Demyx's punishment had ended. And so he'd just left and gone back to his life. The rehab center would be nothing but a past punishment to him and soon he'd forget about it mostly. Somehow Riku found this thought a little depressing, he'd miss Demyx.

But it seemed like the same thing happened to all the teen volunteers. They stayed for a while to wait out their punishment and then they left. It was just a punishment to them. _After all what normal teen_ _wants to spend his or her free time taking care of freaks? _Thought Riku bitterly.

_Oh well_, he thought as he climbed out of his mom's car said a quick good bye and headed into the building he would be spending all his afternoon's this week at.

"Hey Riku!" called Denzel cheerily as he bounded up to Riku. Riku smiled, well this was one good thing at least. He and Denzel could hang out again.

Denzel was the son of his foster parents, Tifa and Cloud Strife. They had adopted him mostly out of sympathy, for he had always been a prone to sickness type of kid.

Years of torment via fellow students had given Denzel his one-way ticket to rehab. When he and Riku met in group therapy they'd become good friends and now enjoyed making sarcastic comments about the physiatrists behind their backs.

"So what brought you back?" asked Denzel.

"Went off the deep end," said Riku easily as he usually answered. Denzel and riku often liked to make jokes about being crazy abnormal freaks. Whenever asked about this they would shrug it off and say that being able to joke about it was a good sign.

"Well," said Denzel cheerfully, "welcome back to the loony bin."

"Bring on the insanity," said Riku letting Denzel lead him into the building he knew all too well…

**Author's Note: **Um yikes, long chapter much? Sorry, I just started typing and… Well! This is the end result… I care myself sometimes. O.O Anyways please review people! It's really not that hard and it shouldn't be too much to ask. If I can type this much in one day you can certainly leave me a three sentence review… or something.

Also, Denzel is going to become an important character as of now so I hope that goes over well with everyone! REVIEWS PEOPLE!!!

bliss


	5. Ping Pong Tournaments

Chapter Five

When Axel got back to his room he found Demyx lying on his bed flipping through some of his old magazines. With a vicious shove Axel sent the blonde toppling off the edge of the bed. Demyx's disgruntled expression faded when he spotted the livid look on Axel's face.

"Oh no Axel," moaned Demyx gripping his head, "tell me you didn't!"

"Didn't what?" snapped Axel.

"What did you say?" asked Demyx.

"Nothing, Sora and Kairi were just acting like asses is all."

"What did you say to them?" Demyx hissed, fearing the answer.

"I-…" Axel's anger seemed to momentarily subside under Demyx's glare but he soon found himself hitching a frown back onto his face, "I might've told them that I was going to ask Riku out…"

"You what?!" shrilled Demyx.

"Well… Not in those words but yeah," said Axel scratching his head a little, "I just thought that… Have you seen those two together Demyx? They're all lovey-dovey… It's sickening and I think it won't be long till Riku notices their feelings for each other and when that happens he'll feel left out and he won't want to hang around with them as much anymore and so he'll need someone to hang out with and I thought that maybe it'd be cool if I could hang out with him. I mean I know he may be going through a tough time right now or whatever but I don't care I think it would work out after all I-

"You're rambling," Demyx cut in holding up a hand. Sighing and looking unusually serious Demyx patted the seat next to him on Axel's bed. Blinking the red head friend sat down slowly and waited to hear Demyx out.

"Axel," Demyx began, "I know you think you know what's best for Riku but… Sora and Kairi have known him for much longer than you. I'm sure they know more about this situation then the both of us put together… Besides don't you think it would upset Riku more if his two best friends suddenly started dating and stopped hanging out with him?"

"Right but that's where I'd come in see-

Demyx raised his voice and talked over Axel, "Axel I know you obviously care about Riku and all that but I really think that maybe right now Riku isn't ready to be in a relationship… Do you even know if he's gay?"

"Well no," said Axel, "but Sora said he hasn't dated any girls in a long time."

"Well maybe that's for the better then," said Demyx, "a relationship might just confuse him Axel. And what if it doesn't work out? He'd be really upset if you broke up…"

"I guess," Axel conceded hanging his head a little, "Can't I hang out with him though? I still think he could use another friend for when Sora and Kairi finally start going out…"

"I guess that's okay," murmured Demyx thoughtfully, "but don't try anything Axel… He doesn't need more confusion in his life."

"Right," said Axel absentmindedly.

-----

Riku really hated group therapy.

He just saw it as a huge waste of time. What was the point of discussing your emotions in a room full of people who are so wrapped up in their minute problems that they really don't give a damn about your current issues?

But his mother had decided that this would help him best and so whenever Riku had another little relapse (if that's what you'd call it) she signed him up for a week or two or three or however long the doctors deemed necessary.

The week dragged on slowly and though Riku had fun talking with Denzel (it made a nice change hanging out with people other than Sora and Kairi) he still found it all rather mandatory and dull. Then on Wednesday Denzel introduced Riku to his friend. She had started coming after the last time Riku had been cleared to leave. Her name was Namine.

"Hey Riku," Denzel said jogging up to his silver haired friend as usual when Riku arrived at twelve thirty on time, "I've got a friend I want you to meet."

"A friend?" Riku smiled, it was nice to know Denzel was making other friends at rehab.

"Yup she's over here," said Denzel pulling Riku along by the wrist.

And then Riku saw her sitting on a bench sketching in a book with a set of pencils at her side. Blonde hair fell limply over her face and one of her shoulders and she was wearing a slightly baggy white t-shirt and baggy worn jeans. Her crystal clear blues eyes were focused entirely on the paper and she didn't notice the two boys' presences until Denzel finally said hi; causing her to jump in surprise.

"Hey Namine," said Denzel waving his hand in her face, "this is my friend I've been telling you about. Riku this is Namine. She left last week but it looks like she's back into the asylum."

"Nice to meet you," said Riku holding out his hand, she bit her lip nervously but Denzel sent her an encouraging smile and hesitantly she took Riku's hand.

"I like your drawings," said Riku tilting his head a little to see her sketchbook better, "You know I draw too. Did Denzel already tell you that?" She shook her head no and began flipping through her book to show Riku her other pictures, Denzel watched too though he'd seen them all before.

"Man I wish I could draw like you guys," he muttered.

"So," said Riku, "what are you in for?"

Namine looked up and blinked at him in confusion.

"I mean, Denzel's got self-esteem issues and cuts himself. I'm just plain wacked… What's up with you?" asked Riku in order to clarify.

"She doesn't talk," said Denzel hastily, Riku blinked.

"You don't talk?" he asked Namine.

She shook her head and looked at the floor. Riku grinned, "Well welcome on my behalf to the resident loony bin madam! It's very nice to meet you!" They shook hands again. Denzel smirked.

"Anyone up for ping pong?" asked Riku eyeing the both of them.

"You're on!" crowed Denzel and Namine nodded before closing her sketch book and gathering up her art supplies.

In the lounge the faculty had set up ping pong tables and air hockey and other such games, along with a big screen TV.

Namine and Riku versed each other first, and Riku was surprised by how skilled she was with a paddle. The match was pretty even.

After a while (they had lost rack of the score, they were having so much fun) Riku caught Denzel talking to Marlene ( a frail looking little bulimic girl) out of the corner of his eye. He smiled, he'd known for a long time that Denzel had a thing for her. The two were talking about some book that Riku had never read called _Cut_. He could guess what it was about.

Finally after Namine had made a brilliant score Riku put his paddle down and sighed, "Do you know the score?" She shook her head.

"Wanna take a break and give someone else a chance to play?" A nod.

"Great! Let's watch TV."

She smiled her small little smile again and they headed for one of the big squashy orange couches surrounding the TV. The other residents watching were staring at Jeopardy.

Ten minutes later Denzel joined them.

"Interesting episode?" asked Denzel sounding unusually cheerful.

"How'd it go?" asked Riku, and when Denzel looked blank he jerked his head in Marlene's direction.

"Oh that," said Denzel, smiling increasing ten fold, "we're gonna sit together tomorrow at lunch… Good start."

"Going pimp on us?" asked Riku and Namine covered her mouth with her hands and muffled her silenced nonexistent laughter.

"Shut up," said Denzel punching him playfully.

Although Riku didn't like group therapy he didn't mind rehab much. The people here made him feel normal and included, as if he were a part of one big dysfunctional family. It was a nice change from over protective parents, parental best friends and… A peculiar red head.

A peculiar red head that took him to fun places and always seemed to find ways to meet up with him randomly. And each time he met up with Axel he grew more and more used to his presence (because Axel really did have presence).

Although Riku didn't know it, he was growing fonder of Axel.

-----

"Hello?...Axel?! Hey sorry I couldn't make it to the-… The theater? _The Pursuit of Happyness_? Sure I'll come! What time? Okay um… Can you come pick me up? Okay see you then… Bye!"

Riku placed the phone down. Tomorrow was his last day of rehab for the week. And now he had a person to celebrate with.

-----

Riku got up feeling unusually chipper that morning. It took him a moment to remember why though. Then last night's phone call came flooding back to him. He was gonna see Axel again today!

Riku got dressed and did his hair with haste. Today was also his last day of rehab for a while. He had to come in looking well off. Last days were crucial. If you came to rehab a wreck on last days they would make you stay longer, which is why Riku always tried to do his best to seem normal on last days.

He'd put his hair up in a pony tail and made sure his school uniform was straight and clean.

When he opened his front door with every intention of hurrying up to meet with Sora and Kairi on the way to school he stopped when he spotted the figure standing on his front porch. He blinked and it took him a moment to remember who it was.

"Oh, you're Roxas right?" asked Riku smiling politely. The blonde boy standing before him returned the smile and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm Roxas," he said extending his hand which Riku took and shook.

"What are you doing here?" asked Riku as the two began walking in the direction of Riku's school.

"Oh well," Roxas hesitated for a moment before saying quite cheerfully, "since you and Axel are such good friends I decided that maybe we could er… Hang out sometime too. What do you think?"

"Great," said Riku, "where do you go to school?"

"I go to Xeahnort Academy, over on Faith Island," said Roxas, "we've got the day off from school today so I decided to properly introduce myself."

"So how long have you and Axel been friends?" asked Riku curiously.

"Since we were in diapers," said Roxas getting an appreciative laugh from Riku, "we had all the same classes with each other in elementary school."

"Wait a minute," Riku stopped walking, "you're the same age as Axel?"

"Yup, I'm twenty," said Roxas proudly.

"Oh! Well… er…. That is…" Riku struggled for words.

"I know, I know," said Roxas putting up a hand to silence Riku, "I'm short right? Yeah I get that a lot… Don't worry about it."

"Okay…"

"Hey Riku," said Roxas after a few minutes of silence, "do you know… um… You know what homosexuality is right?"

"You mean like gays and stuff?" asked Riku, wondering where this topic had come from.

"Er yeah," said Roxas.

"Sure I guess," said Riku a little uneasily, it's not every day you have this conversation with an almost total stranger, "Why do you ask? Are you…?"

"Huh? Oh no," said Roxas, "I'm bi."

"Oh!" said Riku, "Really?" A nod.

"Do you have a problem with that?" asked Roxas carefully eyeing Riku.

"Oh um… No I guess… It's fine, I'm fine with it," said Riku hastily; he didn't want to offend Roxas.

"Good," said Roxas a wicked smirk coming over his face, "cause you know… Axel's 100 gay."

It took a moment for this statement to sink in to Riku.

"He what?" asked Riku wide aqua eyes staring at Roxas in disbelief.

"He's gay," said Roxas smiling even more on the inside when he saw Riku's growing surprise. _I knew it! He's totally flipping out!_

"Well er…" Riku's mouth stumbled over the words.

"You know what else?" asked Roxas keenly, Riku shook his head; not trusting his mouth to work properly.

"Axel really likes you."

Riku's breathing stopped and as his walking came to a halt he turned and stared at Roxas.

"What?" he whispered weakly.

"Axel's totally into you, you're all he talks about," Roxas paused before continueing, this had been his goal ever since he'd first found out about Riku's condition. Make it so that Riku became scared of Axel, "I can only imagine what he's planning to do with you once he gets you alone in some secluded little area… You do know what sex is right?"

Riku stared at Roxas. It didn't make sense.

Axels was his friend… He didn't see Riku as some sort of… boyfriend did he? Then again… They had gone out to eat… And Axel had called him cute…

"I just figured I should warn you just in case you're not gay."

And they had exchanged phone numbers… And they did see each other frequently… But had Axel really seen all those times as dates?

"Well nice talking to you Riku! I'll see you around!"

Riku's brain barely recognized the sound of Roxas's sneakers clopping down the street. He didn't know how long he stood there outside his school's front gates but his mind was reawakened when the bell rang and he dully registered the fact that he was late…

-----

Riku's POV

"Riku? You okay?"

Axel likes me. He _likes_ me.

"Did something happen?"

I didn't answer them. When I came into school that day dreadfully late with wide eyes and a hole in my stomach I was sure wasn't supposed to be there, Sora and Kairi had immediately assumed something had happened.

"Riku," said Kairi grabbing my arm gently and meeting my eyes firmly, "what's wrong?" I shook my head and kept on walking leaving my stunned friends behind.

Roxas… Roxas must have been lying when he said Axel liked me… He must've… But why would he lie to me? After all we've only met once before today so… Maybe Axel really is…

"Riku?"

I look up and blink a little at my math teacher; the day's been going by in such a blur. It's like I'd been set on auto pilot. I hadn't even realized what classes I was going to.

"How would you answer this question?" She gestured at the board and I supposed she was trying to get me to answer the problem posed up there. I merely shook my head and returned my gaze to the desk I was sitting at.

After a while she cleared her throat and called on someone else; but everybody kept on staring at me. Especially Kairi. I decided that I wouldn't talk today until I saw Axel later. Then I could ask him about everything, and then things would all be clearer. So until then I'd wait till I saw Axel again.

Later, after who knows how many classes had passed, I found myself sitting at my seat in yet another one of my classes; my feet had carried me here out of habit.

Class started and this time nobody talked to me. If I'd given it any thought I probably would've realized that this was because my first period teachers had obviously noticed something wrong with me and signaled the rest of the faculty.

But oddly enough I didn't question their ignorance and spent a good chunk of the period staring at a crack in my desk that resembled a turtle. I remembered Demyx telling me he had a pet turtle named Myrtle and I rhymed Myrtle and turtle in my head for a while until I couldn't remember which one came first…

The turtle or Myrtle…

The day went on and the longer my school day took the more that itchy pain in my head grew worse and worse until I found myself standing by my locker with Kairi's manicured hand on my arm.

"Riku?" she asked quietly, "What's wrong?"

I shrugged her off and continued packing up my bag. The sooner I got to therapy the sooner it would end and then I could talk to Axel. That's when things would get better…

"Riku how'd your day go?! Today's your last day in rehab for a while right?! Man, Namine and I are sure going to miss you!"

I looked up to see Denzel and Namine greeting me at the gates as usual. Namine was clutching her sketch book and Denzel was waving in his usual cheery fashion. I tried to smile back but I wasn't sure if anything happened on my face.

"How are you doing?" asked Denzel as the three of us started walking inside to meet up at the group therapy room. I didn't answer and kept my face decidedly downcast.

Denzel waited a while for an answer but when none came he and Namine exchanged nervous glances.

Group therapy sucked worse than usual, if that was even possible. I was stubbornly resolved not to talk to anyone until I saw Axel. But it only worried the psychiatrists when I refused to answer. I knew they were going to tell my mother to keep me here longer now but I really didn't care right now. I had to wait to talk for Axel…

After therapy Denzel had hastily excused himself from me and Namine to go and flirt shamelessly with Marlene. I watched him silently for a while until I felt a soft pressure on my arm. I blinked and looked at Namine.

Her eyes were staring up at me with nothing but worry and sincere concern. And suddenly I felt bad for deciding not to talk on a whim like this… When there were people like Namine out there who really (if you thought about it) couldn't talk.

She bit her lip when I didn't say anything but I smiled in order to reassure her that I would start talking soon, and this time I was sure something happened on my face. She seemed to get the message and nodding she hurried off to go to the bathroom.

I walked around the halls of the rehab center aimlessly for a bit before I walked past one of the lounges. It was the one Namine and I had played ping pong in yesterday. Today Denzel and Marlene were playing while a recovering addict named Fuu kept score. The game was tied, though I was pretty sure Denzel was just trying to make it fair for Marlene's sake.

Suddenly the ball skittered out into the hallway I was in and stopped at my feet.

"Hey Riku!" called Denzel looking thrilled to be playing ping pong with Marlene, "Bring it here will ya?!"

I bent down carefully and picked the ball up in my hand. Taking tiny steps I walked into the lounge watching the ball roll around in my palm, if I took bigger steps it would probably fall out of my hand…

"Thanks," said Denzel plucking the ball out of my hand as if it were light as air.

All of a sudden my hand was empty and I wasn't sure what to do next. Perhaps Denzel noticed my confusion because he asked me kindly, "You wanna play a few rounds?"

My eyes traveled from Marlene's face flushed with happiness, Fuu's tiny almost non existent encouraging smile and Denzel's cheerful smiling eyes.

I shook my head and went back to wandering around aimlessly.

-----

Normal POV

Riku's mom was silent as she drove me home from rehab at four fifty. Riku got dressed quietly when he got home and started heading out for the front steps to wait for Axel… When he heard his parents talking in their room.

"They say he'll have to stay a little longer," Ritsuko's voice floated out into the hall Riku was standing in.

"How much longer?" asked Natashi.

"Another week at best," a tired sigh, "they said he's refusing to talk for some reason."

"Any idea why?"

"None… Natashi I'm so worried about him…"

"I know sweetie it'll be fine though… Riku will get over what happened soon."

"I'm not so sure about that anymore… It's been a long time since-

"Shh!"

Riku sensed them looking at the door he was standing behind and quickly made his way out the front door.

He sighed once he was out in the fresh air. Axel would come soon… Then he could sort things out…

"Hey."

Speak of the devil.

Riku smiled and hurried over to Axel who was standing outside of his car leaning on the door lazily. The red head waved to him casually.

During the car ride Axel asked Riku a lot of questions, which went unanswered as Riku still neglected to speak.

_I don't know what to say… How do I ask if…?_

"Riku is something bothering you?" asked Axel glancing at Riku.

Riku shook his head fervently and gave Axel a reassuring smile, in his head he was going through all the possible ways of bringing it up in conversation. So far he'd counted zero.

At the theater they paid for their tickets without much affair.

"You want some popcorn?" asked Axel Riku nodded and watched with mixed emotions as Axel jogged over to the concession stand. Was this what being on a date was like? Riku thought about it for a second… Well, back when he and Olette had been going out he'd always bought her popcorn whenever they went to the movies…

So if Axel did see this as a relationship… Did that make him the feminine role? Oh crap… It did.

Riku saw Axel waving at him from the line. He waved back a little nervously and offered a weak smile.

"That your boyfriend?" came a particularly chirpy voice that reminded Riku strongly of Selphie. He spun around to see a short Asian girl with short raven hair. She looked intolerably cheerful.

Riku's eyes widened at the question and he shook his head so fast his hair fwacked his face.

"Oh that's too bad," she pouted indignantly, "I was hoping I could get pictures of you two for my yaoi fan site on the internet… Would you mind _pretending_ to be gay for each other?"

Riku shook his head again, ran over to where Axel was standing in line and clutched his arm tightly. Axel blinked and looked down at him.

"Something wrong?" Riku pointed a finger in the direction of the crazy yaoi fan girl. She was standing with three other girls giggling madly. All four girls were watching Axel and Riku out of the corners of their eyes, "Oh…" was all Axel said and he gripped Riku closer in a protective manner.

"Oh you two are so cute!" squealed the woman at the stand, "What'll it be?"

"One large popcorn and two Sprites," said Axel glancing back at the group of fan girls to see if they were following him and Riku.

The movie was pretty good mused Riku. Not Oscar winning material but still overall worth seeing. He'd decided to wait until after the movie to ask Axel about his sexuality. After all there was no point in spoiling the evening…

Later on outside the theater Riku and Axel were sitting in a nearby restaurant (Axe had insisted on taking Riku out to eat).

_"I can only imagine what he's planning to do with you once he gets you alone in some secluded little area… You do know what sex is right?"_

Riku avoided the restaurant's bathrooms for the rest of the evening.

Finally just as they were about to leave Riku looked at Axel and quickly blurted, "Areyougay?"

Axel stared at Riku silently, "What?"

"A-are… are you… gay?"

"I-…" Axel considered lying but firmly decided against it, there wasn't much point at the moment, "yes… Yes I am."

"Oh…" said Riku dropping his gaze to his plate looking dejected.

"Why do you ask?" asked Axel.

"I-… Someone told me that… you liked me…" the words came out whispered and Axel almost had to lean in to hear them.

"Here…"

"Thank you for dining with us please have a nice day."

"Yeah whatever."

Dragging Riku by the arm Axel safely got the two of them into his car.

"I do like you Riku."

And that was when it all came down.

**Author's Note: **I'm soooooo sorry it took soooooo long people! My crappy internet was down. Bleah. Yeah so personally I don't think this chapter was one of my best but… Whatever. Please review as always! It's nice to know when people are reading your story! And I really slaved over this chapter!

bliss


	6. Put it in Perspective

Chapter Six

There are some situations in life that can be described in one simple word. As the rain continued to come down steadily that night, Axel found himself in one such situation. His current predicament could be described quite easily in one word; tense. But then again, Axel supposed that technically it was more than one word seeing as you would have to add "very" before the word tense quite a bit before it came even close to summing up his situation.

"Wh-What?" asked Riku quietly, his eyes were wide and his voice came out slightly hoarse.

"I do," said Axel, "you're really cute and… sweet."

"B- but… But I'm not… I mean I-… But he- you-why?-I don't-…" Riku's breathing was coming in short tiny little gasps and he suddenly looked scared and small sitting in Axel's car.

"Look," said Axel thinking quickly, "I'll just drive you home okay? And then… You can just think about stuff… Or something."

Riku didn't say anything; instead he hugged his torso and shuddered violently. Axel decided it was best to leave him to it for now; he was treading on dangerous ground. Minutes ticked by slowly as Axel's car rumbled through town slowly. There were no light conversations of tofu this time.

When Axel pulled up in front of Riku's house he turned to look at Riku expectantly, waiting for him to get out. After a moment of staring dully ahead Riku opened his door and trudged up to his front steps.

It wasn't eight o'clock yet, so Axel didn't get to see a pair of worried parents fling themselves upon their son. He didn't wait to see if Riku went inside. He just drove away.

-----

Riku lay on his bed for a while staring at his ceiling. After what might have been an hour his mother came in and handed him the phone.

"It's Kairi," she said quietly, he nodded and took the phone from her wordlessly.

"Hello?" he asked, voice hoarse from lack of usage today, he coughed to clear it up a few times.

"Hey Riku," chirped Kairi, "So you're talking again?"

"Yeah," said Riku rolling over and sighing.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" he asked numbly.

"Why you weren't talking today," said Kairi.

"Oh…"

"Riku what happened? You know you can tell me, I won't tell Sora if you don't want me to," said Kairi. Riku opened his mouth to answer when he stopped. And he realized something for the first time. Kairi didn't say "Sora" like he and the others did. There was something else hidden behind there…

"Riku? Are you still there?"

"Huh? Oh sorry, I spaced," murmured Riku, he had a theory but he needed to test it out, "Kairi?"

"Yes Riku?"

"You… um… What did you and Sora do today while I was at rehab?"

"Wh-What?" she asked, Riku had never asked her that before, "well, we did our homework and then we hung out at the park with Tidus, Selphie and Wakka. You should have seen it! Sora and Selphie got high on ice cream and they were bouncing all over the place! Tidus, Wakka and I almost DIED laughing!"

And that was what Riku had been looking for, it was the way Kairi talked about Sora, the way she said his name and how her voice became so enthused, "You like Sora don't you?" he accused quietly.

"…"

"Kairi?" asked Riku, fearful that he'd gotten her mad enough to make her hang up.

"What makes you ask that?" asked Kairi defensively.

"Kairi please, let's just be honest okay?" asked Riku wearily, he was tired.

"I-…" she sighed, and Riku could almost see her putting a fist on her hip and looking around her room as if searching for the right answer, "…Yes," she admitted at last, "Yes I do."

Even though he'd guessed that she did, Riku found that for some reason, her answer both upset and surprised him, "So… Why aren't you two together then? Is it all because of me?"

"Well we've never actually talked about it, but we always thought that it would make you upset if we started spending less time with you…" she spoke slowly and carefully as if she were trying to monitor his breathing via telephone. Riku swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Oh… okay then…"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah… Yeah I'm fine," said Riku quietly, "you should tell him how you feel… You guys would be happier if-

"No Riku! You don't have to do anything! It's our problem not yours! It'll work out don't worry about it… In the meantime let's just leave things as is okay?" said Kairi quickly and with forced gusto.

"Kay…" said Riku, not really meaning it though.

"See you tomorrow!"

"Bye…"

Riku clicked the phone off and lay in his bed for a while, for the next two hours he got to know his ceiling in a way he was sure no one had ever done before. He had stared at it so much that his parents started to worry.

"Hey Resa," said Natashi looking down at his daughter, "go up and talk to Riku."

"But why?" she whined, looking up from her crayon scribbles, "He's such a party pooper…" Her father just gave her one of those stern looks, and pretty soon Resa was headed up the stairs.

"Hiya Riku!" she shrilled as she pranced into her older brother's room. Riku winced at her high pitched, maximized-volume-loudness pitch thing…

"What do you want?" he asked in a dead voice.

"Just wanted to talk to ya," she chirped hopping onto the side of his bed, Riku scooted over a little to accommodate. The springs of the bed groaned a little at the added weight and Riku traced the swirls of the wrinkles with his eyes for a while until Resa broke the silence.

"What'cha doin'?" she asked.

"Not much."

"You're not even going to do home work?" she asked in genuine surprise.

"Nope."

"But I thought you liked homework!"

"Resa, nobody likes homework," said Riku as if he were stating the obvious. Which he was.

"Oh…"

They sat in silence for a while. Riku had found that tracing the wrinkles on his bed made him dizzy so he switched back to staring at the ceiling. Resa twittered with her hands for a while until she got bored and started…

"Resa?"

"Hm?"

"Stop braiding my hair. NOW."

"Meanie…"

"…Whatever."

"Mommy's almost done with dinner y'know."

Riku turned his gaze to Resa, "So?"

"Aren't you going to come down and get ready?"

"Why should I?"

"You're not going to eat with us?"

"I'm not hungry…" mumbled Riku looking at the floor.

"You're not hungry or you just don't feel like talking?"

Riku's gaze shot up, and he stared at Resa with wide eyes. Resa just gave him a knowing smile and patted his shoulder, "It's fine, I don't mind. But you really are worrying mommy."

Riku nodded dumbly as his sister exited the room, sighing he scratched his head and yawned, "Sometimes I forget which one of us is supposed to be the older one," he sighed again before deciding to turn to the one place he knew he could get help.

-----

"Hello?"

"Denzel? I have a problem…"

"Yeah I kind of noticed," said Denzel perking up when he realized it was Riku calling, "It seems the psychiatrists have landed you with more time at rehab."

Tifa came in the room looking at Denzel questioningly; he waved his hand for her to go away and mouthed, _"It's for me."_

She nodded slowly and left, it wasn't often Denzel got calls seeing as his only friends were from rehab. And there he only had two (he didn't want Marlene to be just a friend so it didn't count).

"I need your help," said Riku, "a while ago I met this guy named Axel. He's twenty years old and he flagged me down in a mall and took me out to Chinese."

"He just randomly chased after you?" asked Denzel with raised brows.

"Yeah," said Riku, then he hesitated before continueing, "he's really nice though… I mean, I hung out with him a lot after that and I thought we were friends but…"

"But…?" asked Denzel, the way this conversation was going he had a couple of ideas of what might've happened next.

"Well, just yesterday his best friend came up to me and told me he's gay," said Riku quietly. _Probably so that his parents won't hear him,_ mused Denzel.

"Okay… Do you have a problem with that?"

There came a rustling sound and Denzel could imagine Riku shaking his head 'no' before he realized Denzel couldn't see him and said, "No I don't think so at least…"

"Okay so when do we get to your problem?" asked Denzel though at this point he was positive he knew where this was going.

"His best friend told me that he really likes me," said Riku so quietly Denzel could barely hear him, much less make out the words.

"Do you think his friend was lying?" asked Denzel, by now he was just humoring Riku. Riku wouldn't have been so upset lately if he thought this Axel's best friend was lying.

"I thought he might've been at first but then I asked Axel about it," murmured Riku. Denzel mentally slapped himself, leave it to Riku to take the simplest approach to a problem.

"And what did Axel say?" asked Denzel crossing his arms and waiting for the inevitable answer.

"He said he did."

"He said he did like you?"

"Y-Yeah…"

Denzel sighed. He picked at the hem of his shirt for a while…

"Well?" asked Riku hesitantly.

"Well what?" asked Denzel, he needed to be careful, Riku was obviously very upset and one wrong word could throw him off.

"Wh-What should I do?" asked Riku stuttering.

"What about him liking you?" asked Denzel, forcing his voice to sound a little harsh. He needed it to sound like he thought what he was saying to Riku was obvious.

"Well yeah, that is why I called…"

"Look," said Denzel, "It's simple really. All you've gotta do is answer me one question: Do you, or do you not like him back?"

Riku choked and spluttered on his end of the line as if the thought that he might even like Axel back hadn't occurred to him. Denzel smirked.

"I- I don't know…"

"Well," said Denzel easily, "think about it a little alright? If you do like him then tell him. And if you don't either stay friends or stop hanging out with him…"

"I guess," said Riku slowly.

"There now was that so hard?" Denzel grinned triumphantly, "Hey, how 'bout tomorrow you. Me and Namine go to Chill together? I just realized a while ago that none of us ever hang out outside of rehab… Might be fun…"

"That sounds great!" said Riku and Denzel could here the swooshing sound of his hair as he nodded eagerly, "Cause I don't want to be around Kairi or Sora for a while either…"

"Why?" asked Denzel, voice hardening. He could understand a new guy like Axel, but Sora and Kairi should know better than to upset Riku, "What'd they do?"

"Nothing really," said Riku, "it just seems that they like each other… Well they probably always have, but I just noticed."

"Ah…" said Denzel, he'd been wondering when Riku would notice that.

"Yeah, so what time?" asked Riku hastily changing topics.

"How about… right after rehab?" said Denzel, "It makes sense to just go together right afterward."

"Right after… That's at Five then right?" asked Riku.

"Yup."

"Great!"

"Cool, bye."

"See you."

Denzel sighed as he hung up the phone, then he quickly punched in Namine's phone number.

"Hello?" came a tired voice that Denzel recognized as Namine's father.

"Hello this is Denzel can I speak to Namine?"

"She doesn't talk nimrod."

"I know, just put her on the phone," said Denzel.

A sigh then, "Whatever. Oi! Namine!"

Denzel heard movement on the line, "Namine? If you're there tap the end of the phone." There came a tapping sound and Denzel proceeded to tell Namine everything that was going down with Riku and how tomorrow after rehab they had to do their best to help him.

"If you can come to Chill, er… Blow into the mouthpiece really quickly." Loud blowing, "Alright then it's settled! Bye Namine!"

-----

The next day in school, Sora and Kairi kept unusually (even for them) watchful eyes on Riku the whole time. It was plain that Kairi had told Sora about their conversation and that the two were waiting for him to jump out a window.

But Riku was too busy to even think about jumping. Riku was trying to decided how he felt about Axel. Strangely enough, it seemed Denzel's words had gotten through to him.

-----

Namine and Denzel didn't feel like doing much in rehab after school. Marlene had gone on vacation with her family for the day and so Denzel stayed with them the whole time. After Group therapy they sat on the big poofy couch and watched TV, while other patients play ping pong and air hockey in the background.

"So," said Denzel as they roamed the hallways, "did you give what I said last night any thought Riku?"

Riku gave a short nod before saying, "Yeah… I did it's just-… I don't know ever since… I never really thought about liking anyone like that you know? I don't know…" His gaze traveled to Namine, "Did Denzel tell you about my problem?" She nodded and gave him an encouraging smile that Riku read to mean:

_"Don't worry about it; I'm sure you'll make the right decision!"_

"Thanks," he said, slinging an arm around Namine's shoulder, Denzel slung his around too and for a while the three of them just stood there hanging on each other and laughing.

Later on after rehab was done, Denzel's dad Cloud came and drove them to Chill. He looked in the front mirror to glimpse at the three sitting in the back seat.

"This is a first," said he, smiling, "you guys have never hung out outside of rehab before. Is there an occasion?"

Denzel and Namine winked and Denzel said, "You could say that."

Riku squirmed a little but didn't add anything to Denzel's comment.

"So Riku, how's school going?" asked Cloud once he'd spotted Riku's slightly uncomfortable expression, "Have you been able to keep up with the work?"

Namine and Denzel turned to Riku who said, "Yeah! My friends Sora and Kairi have been trying to help me with the home work… But I'm faster at it then them!"

Cloud chuckled and Denzel actually started laughing. Namine covered her mouth with a hand to hide her smile and Riku just grinned a little.

"Here we are, have fun," said Cloud stopping outside of Chill.

"Bye dad!" said Denzel before shutting the door to the car.

On the inside of the car Cloud's face was stunned and he had frozen with his hands on the wheel. Denzel just waved cheerfully and slowly Cloud nodded and drove off. Outside Chill Namine and Riku were staring at Riku with wide eyes.

"What?" asked Denzel, his gaze flitting between the two.

"You just," Riku pointed after the Cloud's car, "you just called him your dad. When did this start?" Namine too blinked curiously.

"I just thought I'd give it a try," said Denzel, "after all, even if they are just my adoptive parents… They've been looking after me for a long time."

"Is that something one of the psychiatrists told you to do?" asked Riku quirking an eyebrow.

"Nope," said Denzel, "I figured it out on my own. And you know what else?"

Riku and Namine looked at each other before simultaneously turning to Denzel. They shook their heads and wait expectantly.

"I haven't cut myself for a month!"

The statement took a moment to sink in. But soon Riku was thumping Denzel on the back and congratulating him, "Have you told the counselors?"

"Not yet," said Denzel, "I'm saving it for my next private session."

"That's awesome!" Riku said, "We have to celebrate," he put his hands together thoughtfully, "Oh! I know um… I'll buy the drinks for today!"

"Cool," said Denzel, Namine cocked her head to the side.

"I'll buy yours too," said Riku once he'd caught her questioning stare, she smiled and nodded appreciatively.

When they got inside Denzel told Riku what he wanted. Riku turned to the man behind the counter and gave him the order. He got himself a strawberry flavored, and ordered Denzel his extra large banana blueberry flavored.

"Riku you don't have to mega-size it," said Denzel looking at his silver haired friend in disbelief.

"Shut up," said Riku cheerfully, "I can do what I want. You haven't cut yourself for a month! You're getting an extra large chill! Namine what do you want?"

Namine squinted at the big board of flavors and chewed her lip. Finally she wrote 'lemon' on a napkin with her pencil. Riku leaned over her shoulder and read.

"And a small lemon too!"  
The dude behind the counter just nodded dumbly, these kids were strange…

Finally after debating with herself for sometime Namine turned to Riku and tapped him on the shoulder.

"What?" he asked looking down at her and smiling.

"Thank you."

Denzel looked up from the counter he'd been staring at so intently and stared at Namine who looked at the floor and blushed. Riku's expression remained the same.

For a few minutes the three stood there like that; frozen in time. Then suddenly Riku's face broke into the hugest grin he'd worn in a long time and he turned to where the worker was bustling around preparing their drinks.

"Hey you! Make hers an extra large too!"

Namine giggled and Denzel smiled.

-----

Riku walked home that day in a confused state. A part of him wanted to feel extremely happy for his two friends; who had taken such big steps today. And yet another part of him felt left out. His friends were recovering… They were on the fast road to recovery… What if they kept on following the road and left Riku behind?

Just as he was about to turn onto his block he stopped. He gave a short nod as if making up his mind. And then quite suddenly he was off and running, tearing out his phone book to check the address….

-----

Axel hadn't slept much ever since the day Riku had discovered his feelings. Just when everything had been going so well…

"Crap," he muttered for the umpteenth-billionth time. Rolling over in bed he sighed and flipped through a magazine (also for the umpteenth-billionth time).

That was when the door bell rang.

"Go away!" he hollered, "I don't want any company!"

His parents had gone to some sort of convention in another state and Axle wanted to spend his time alone this weekend sulking in his corner of misery.

But the doorbell kept ringing and so eventually a scoffing Axel came stomping down the stares.

When he opened the door his anger melted into shock which quickly turned to indescribable joy as the figure in the door frame flung themselves on Axel and started saying, "I'm sorry I was upset!" over and over again.

And all Axel could do was run his hands through those silver strands of stardust and whisper, "It's okay…" into the ear of the smaller frame that was currently clinging to him for all life was worth.

**Author's Note:** Ahem… Yes this did take me quite a long time to get out and I apologize for that. Also I hope this chapter made up for the last on which was really crappy. Lately I've been really busy with school and stuff so… Yeah that's why this took so long. But things are dying down now (I think/hope) and I should be able to update faster.

Please review people! A lot of stuff happened in this chapter and I would really like to know what you think of all of it!


	7. Three New Romances

Chapter Seven

"So what does this mean?"

Riku looked up from the patch on Axel's couch he'd been studying; startled out of his musings by Axel's unexpected question.

The two were resting on Axel's living couch in front of the TV. Riku's head was currently resting on Axel's shoulder, "What do you mean?" asked Riku blankly.

"I mean this," Axel gestured to their positions against each other, "What does _this _mean?" Riku looked back down at the patch on the couch. He couldn't decide if he thought it was a stain (maybe coffee?) or an actual patch of clothe that got sewn over a rip or tear. If it was actually clothe then how did it rip?

"Riku?"

Riku blinked and returned his gaze to Axel, "Oh! Um… I don't really know…" He snuggled his head into Axel's shoulder and took a deep breath. Axel smelled good… Almost like… Barbecue…

"Well," said Axel shifting a little in order to wrap an arm around Riku's slimmer waist, "does this mean you like me back?"

Riku looked up at Axel with big eyes and nodded once, "I think so…"

Axel smirked a little, "You don't know? I'm not so sure Riku… What kind of answer is that? Is that really the best you can do?"

Riku pouted before breaking out into a mischievous grin, "Axel, I love you!" he declared loudly throwing his arms around Axel's neck and kissing him.

After he pulled away he laughed when he saw Axel's expression (It was something like this: O.O) before saying quite simply, "Better?"

"Yeah…" whispered Axel breathlessly, "Yeah…" he smiled at Riku as if inspired with an idea, "Here, come here you, I wanna try that one again."

------

Riku barely managed to get home before eight o'clock that day (surprisingly enough, Axel had been the one to remind him). But he still had a few minutes left before he walked in the front door so all was well.

When his mom opened the door and welcomed him home she said, "Oh by the way… You got quite a few calls from Kairi and Sora… They sounded worried about you. Where were you if you weren't playing with them?"

Riku hesitated before answering quickly, "Denzel and Namine and I met up at Chill after rehab. Do Sora and Kairi want me to call them back?"

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea," said Ritsuko, she sounded oddly tired, "How are Denzel and Namine? Was there some sort of occasion?"

Riku started laughing much to Mrs. Ishida's surprise, "That's what Cloud asked us…" he said in explanation.

"Oh," Mrs. Ishida blinked a few times before smiling, her son was unusually cheerful today, "well was there?"

"Not really," mused Riku, "but Denzel hasn't cut in a long time and he called Cloud 'dad'. Oh and Namine finally talked. She said 'thank you'."

Mrs. Ishida's expression of surprise grew as Riku carried on talking about his friends; she hadn't heard him talk about his day like this in so long.

"That's great sweetie," she cooed.

"Isn't it?" he said cheerfully before he grabbed the cordless phone and proceeded to climb up the stairs to his room while dialing Kairi's number, "Hey Kairi? Yeah, my mom said you called… Mm-hm she mentioned Sora too. Nope, nothing's wrong at all! I'm fine actually. Isn't that weird Kairi? I'm _fine._"

On her end of the line Kairi stopped and caught her breath. Riku sounded so happy. _Why? What happened?_

She forced a smile onto her face and said in a false happy tone, "So what have you been doing all day?"

"Hm? Oh, I met up with Denzel and Namine at Chill. And then I went to Axel's! You're never going to believe what happened at Chill! Denzel called Cloud his 'dad'! Isn't that great? That's what I thought, so I decided to buy the drinks for everyone! And… And you know what else? Denzel hasn't cut himself in a month! I couldn't believe it either! And then Namine talked! She talked to me! She said 'thank you'. So I got both of them extra-large drinks!"

Kairi smiled at Riku's enthused voice but deep down she felt a little pang of guilt and jealousy. All these friends he was making… Kairi had grown so used to the anti-social Riku who clung to her and Sora like they were his only life-support. But now he was making new friends…

She knew his getting better was a good thing, and she really was happy for him but… She couldn't help but feel a little sad. Looking after Riku all these years would be a tough habit to break.

She didn't even know half of the people he was talking about right now… Who the hell was Marlene? What kind of name was Cloud? Riku knew a girl who didn't talk? Namine? A blonde girl?

Finally one name made its way clearly into her mind.

"You went to Axel's house?!" she asked.

Riku flinched and held the phone from his ear, _Why's she so mad?_

"Yeah, why is that a problem? I know you don't like him but that's no reason to-

"Riku, what did you do over there?" asked Kairi narrowing her violet eyes, Riku could almost see the sparks flying on her line.

"Nothing! We just watched TV!" said Riku making up the first lie that popped into his mind, "Why are you so worked up?"

"Riku I don't like him, at all," said Kairi, "I think he's trying to hurt you… Riku," sand suddenly her tone became motherly, "Please just be careful around him."

"He's not going to hurt me Kairi!" said Riku voice rising, "Why are you and Sora so against him? Have you ever even met him?"

"Yes we have," said Kairi, balling up her fists, "and he was a total jerk!"

"He's not a jerk!" cried Riku in protest, "I-… He's not…"

Kairi's heightened voice road over Riku's continued mumbling, "He is a jerk Riku. And he knows you've been in rehab too!"

"He… what?" Riku stopped his mumbling and listened to Kairi's next words intently.

"He knows you're in rehab. Demyx told him."

Riku stopped to think about this. All this time… Even though he knew… He still treated Riku the same… He still liked Riku. So…

"So what?" hollered Riku into the mouthpiece, "If anything this is proof he's good! At least he doesn't treat me like I'm some sort of convulsive, pathetic little spaz like certain OTHER PEOPLE!!!"

And with those parting words Riku slammed the phone onto his bed and pressed the End Talk button.

Kairi's breath caught in her throat and stared at the silent phone in shock. Suddenly the operator woman's voice came on:

"If you'd like to make a call please-

Kairi hung up.

------

The next day at school Riku paid a lot more attention in class than usual. Sure there were still those little moments when he blanked but overall it was one of his best performances all year round.

And people noticed too. Olette noticed as she and Riku were going over the Chemistry lesson in the hallway. Pence and Hayner noticed as they were talking about some new video game and Riku joined in the conversation.

And Sora and Kairi noticed in the way that Riku didn't follow them to lunch like a lost little puppy.

Suddenly Riku's mind just seemed so much clearer to him. He could think things through again without much difficulty and overall it just seemed like things were going _right _for him.

Even the teachers observed Riku's change in mood. And they talked about it between classes; wondering what could have happened to turn him around like this.

It was like gossip, only better. And it cheered people up to see Riku smiling and talking like he used to. Even the ones that never really knew him that well couldn't help but be happy for him.

------

During rehab Denzel, Namine and Riku met up outside the building and exchanged stories of success. Namine had started talking to her family now and even said a few words to some of the girls she used to be good friends with back before she neglected her speech.

Denzel was referring to his parents as parents all the time now, and had gotten an A on a math test that he had actually _studied _for.

Riku told them of what had happened between him and Axel yesterday and how he'd paid a lot of attention today in school.

Denzel joked that now he and Namine had to buy Riku an extra large Chill and the three walked into group therapy laughing and chatting. Much to the surprise of the counselors.

In group therapy everyone usually opened up talking about their day and this time Denzel, Namine and Riku had quite a bit to share. So the counselors watched in amusement as the three friends carried on about how well things were going for them. And they couldn't help but be reminded of a little kid explaining his new toy to all his friends.

------

After rehab Riku called his mom and told her not to come pick him up and that he wanted to walk around town for a while. She agreed because now that Riku was doing so well she didn't need to worry as much.

Riku walked over to Axel's house and rang the door bell.

"Hey Riku," said Axel upon opening the door, he grabbed Riku by the wrist and tugged him inside the humble abode.

The force of Axel's tug sent Riku hurling into Axel's chest which in turn caused Axel to topple over. And so it was that Axel and Riku found themselves sprawled out in Axel's front hall in a very accommodating position.

…

"Uh, Riku?"

"…What?"

"You wanna, I dunno, maybe GET OFF me?"

"I would like that actually."

"Well why don't you then?"

"I can't."

"How's that?"

"I think I hurt my leg."

"…"

"Axel?"

"Well this sucks."

"Yeah…"

"Here, try moving it like th-

"Ow! Holy shit, you're making it worse!"

"…Crap."

-----

After managing to pull Riku off of him Axel carried the younger of the two up the steps of his house bridal style and eventually plopped Riku down on the edge of the bathtub. Then he began bustling around the large, spacious bathroom looking for a first aid kit.

"Wow," said Riku taking in his surroundings, "You have a big bathroom… And this tub is huge! I mean you could probably swim in it!"

"I used to when I was little," murmured Axel distractedly as he continued to open cabinet after cabinet in search of the elusive first aid kit, "Here we are!"

He spun around with a small white bow that had a red cross on the front. He placed the box on the white tile floor and proceeded to lift Riku's ankle. Riku hissed in pain as Axel gently prodded at it a little.

"It's just a sprain," muttered Axel thoughtfully as he took out an Ace Bandage and wrapped up Riku's ankle expertly.

"You're good at this," said Riku in awe as he tapped the wrappings a little.

"Thanks, I've sprained my ankle before so," Axel shrugged before straightening up as he stood, "Here c'mon let's try to get you to the couch."

"Kay," said Riku a little shakily as he got up and balanced on one foot.

"Alright, here we go," said Axel grunting as he wrapped an arm around Riku's waist to support him as the two made their way down his flight of stairs carefully.

"Kairi told me that you knew I was in rehab all this time," said Riku trying to make conversation. Axel wasn't that surprised, it had probably been some "clever" ploy to get Riku to start avoiding him.

"Is that so? Yeah I knew," he said, wondering if Riku was upset by this fact.

"Yeah, but Axel? There's one thing I still don't get…" Riku paused and struggled for words, "Why do you like me then? Don't you think I'm crazy?"

"Okay first of all Riku," said Axel as they finally sat down on the couch, "I'm twenty years old and I don't just like people. If I stumble into a relationship it's because I think something might actually come out of it. So don't say that I just like you."

"So you um," Riku's eyes widened as realization dawned on him, "you don't like me uh… You l-…l-… love me?"

"It's fine if you don't actually love me, you're still in high school, it's cool," said Axel running a hand through his hair carelessly, "now back to the main topic here. I liked you even before I found out you'd been and are in rehab. When I did find out I… Well sure I was nervous, but mostly I was just worried. I wanted to help."

"Well I think that's very nice of you," said Riku sighing contently as he laid his head down on Axel's shoulder.

------

Roxas ran up the steps to the teen rehab center. He was five minutes late… Rehab had just ended… But there was still a chance Riku was here…

Suddenly he felt himself collide with something soft and warm. Roxas and the "something" both fell to the ground with small grunts of discomfort.

He looked up rubbing the back of his head and saw what just might have been the most innocent, simply adorable creature he'd ever seen…

"I-…" the girl stumbled over her words as if testing out how they felt on her tongue; it was as if talking was something that was utterly foreign to her, "I'm sorry… I guess I should've been watching where I was going," she murmured, ducking her head in apology.

Roxas found that around this girl English seemed as foreign to him as it seemed it did to her, "Ah! Um… I-It's fine! Don't worry about it! It's my fault really! I wasn't watching where I was going…" He offered her a smile and extended his hand, "I'm Roxas. You?"

She smiled and opened her mouth to talk…

"Hey Namine! Come here!"

The blonde girl's head jerked up and she looked over to a boy about her age that had a mop of reddish brown hair. He waved at her and hollered again.

The girl (Namine?) sent a sheepish smile at Roxas and said quietly, "Guess I'd better get going. It was nice meeting you. Are you a patient here?"

"Oh uh no!" Roxas laughed a little but the girl's expression fell, "I'm just here for a friend," Roxas explained, the laughter in his voice dieing as her face flashed hurt.

"Oh I see," she said, "I should be going… Bye…"

"See you around!" called Roxas, he then mentally slapped himself. What was he saying? He was probably never going to get another chance to see her…

------

"Kairi…?"

"Yeah Sora?"

"…Nevermind."

Kairi's gaze was downcast and her red bangs hung over her face and shadowed her violet eyes. Sora cocked his head to one side and blinked at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked voice laced with concern, "C'mon you can tell me."

"I…" she sighed and looked away, "Riku's been improving a lot lately hasn't he?"

Sora frowned; somehow he didn't think that was what she had initially meant to say. Taking a step forward he grabbed her arm with his right hand and tilted her head up with his left. Her eyes were a little watery.

"Now that you've gotten that out," said Sora delicately, "Wanna tell me what's really bothering you?" Kairi bit her lip, smearing carefully applied lip gloss.

"Sora I'm worried he doesn't need us around anymore," said Kairi.

Sora paused before saying, "Kairi even if he doesn't _need_ us to coddle him we're still his best friends. We were his best friends before the accident and we still can be."

Kairi's eyes narrowed, "It wasn't an accident that-

Sora cut her off with his mouth. Kairi's eyes grew to the size of saucers and her initial instinct was to pull away but then again… It felt way too right to do anything like that. Sora was the one to end it and when he did he looked her in the eye, his face was unusually dead serious.

"Kairi if you want proof that Riku still may need a little bit of help," he thought for a second, "he still goes back to that library."

Kairi's eyes widened for the second time, "He does? How do you know?"

"I saw him there just this week," said Sora quickly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered.

"I didn't want you to worry," said Sora, his face softened into a smile and he rubbed her cheek with his thumb, "I've been worried about you a lot lately… You're always so stressed from looking after Riku."

"He might've just been there to get some reading done," said Kairi.

"Nope," Sora shook his head slightly so that his brown locks swayed a little and tickled Kairi's face, "he was just sitting there staring at his surroundings. I talked to that new librarian… She said he goes there a lot. But he never reads. Sometimes he walks around a little. She also said that whenever she asked him if he needed any help he would refuse looking like he was about to cry.

"Anyways," said Sora lazily putting his arms behind his head, "it's not in our hands at the moment. For once."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Kairi, _What else does Sora know that I don't? Someone's been doing their homework… _

"It means Riku is currently at Axel's house," said Sora grinning his cheesy grin, when he saw Kairi's face he added, "Let them be Kairi. I think he really cares about Riku. And Riku's really starting to love him back."

"Love?"

"Yeah, isn't that great? You should be happy for him."

Kairi took a deep breath, she smiled and linked fingers with Sora, "Whatever you say Sora…"

"Good girl," said Sora.

They walked away hand in hand.

**Author's Note: _READ THIS NOW!!!_** This story is going on temporary hiatus (key word there temporary). Why? I want to get my multi-chapter Demiku story out soon. And the only way I can do that is if I finish "One Week of French Torment". So my plan is to write the last few chapters of that story, THEN I'll right chapter eight of THIS story. Then I'll write the first chapter of "Macarena". Because I only want to write two multi-chapters at a time people. I tried my best to not leave any cliffhangers in this chapter so that I wouldn't have to leave all of you hanging.

Please review as always!

bliss


	8. Mathematical Analogies

Chapter Eight

**Pre-Author's Note:** Ahem… I-… Is anyone still reading this? Heh heh…

**Song:** Trust Me

------

"Are you sure you can manage?"

Riku pouted and glared at the older gentleman, Axel rolled his eyes. _Really, Riku can be so stubborn sometimes… _He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm fine Axel, I can take care of myself," Riku whined, well it sounded like he was whining, but Axel got the distinct feeling he was trying (and failing) to sound impressive and independent.

"Alright, if you say so," said Axel slowly, "just be careful, I don't need you to trip and fall into a sewer hole."

Riku scoffed and muttered something like "ridiculous" under his breath. This action however only helped to add further humor to what he did next. Axel watched with a combination of sympathy and amusement and Riku proceeded to stumble down the steps that lead up to Axel's front porch. After much scrambling Riku managed to right himself. He glared at Axel, daring him to say anything.

"Bye!" called Axel cheerfully, and the look Riku sent him caused him to go into a fit of hysterics.

_Stupid Axel,_ thought Riku grumpily as he walked down the redhead's street, limping due to his sprain, _laughing at me when he's the one who made me fall in the first place… Idiot._

------

"So…"

_Thump, thump, bang, kick…_

"You seem to be upset about something…"

_Kick, punch, thump, bang, thump, thump…_

"You wanna tell me what's up? Eh heh…"

_Kick, kick, KICK!!!_

"Er Roxas?"  
Roxas looked up from the wall he was currently kicking the living shit out of and glared at Demyx. Said blonde was sitting in a black computer chair facing Roxas, he was tugging at his shirt nervously as he eyed the shorter one.

"What?" snapped Roxas, he stopped kicking and stood there rigidly in Demyx's apartment.

"What's wrong?" asked Demyx.

"Nothing," Roxas spat. He continued to kick the wall violently. Demyx watched him for a while until-

"OW!!! Shit, fucking son of bitch!"

-Roxas screamed in pain after a particularly ferocious kick. The short twenty-year old hopped on one foot for a while whilst clutching his injured foot. He glared at the offending wall, as if demanding an apology.

"Roxas don't blame the wall," said Demyx offhandedly as he stood and walked out of the room.

"Where're you going?" Roxas called after him, "I'm not done PMS-ing yet!"

"I'm getting something to drink," Demyx hollered back as he entered his small (he liked to call it cozy) kitchen, "at first it was entertaining but now I find your bitching is just a little dull."

"Hmph," scoffed Roxas, "shows what you know. _Everyone _knows my complaining is top of the line bitchy."

It appeared Demyx did not hear that last comment from his position in the kitchen for he did not respond. Roxas decided that this was probably for the better.

"Now," said Demyx again as he reentered the room and sat down in his black, computer chair backwards so that he was straddling the back of the chair, "let's talk," Roxas fought the urge to roll his eyes, "what's wrong?"

Roxas sat down in Demyx bed Indian style and crossed his arms stubbornly.

Demyx sighed wearily, "C'mon Roxas, you might as well tell me," when the other blonde refused to answer or acknowledge him Demyx pressed on and took a wild guess, "Does this have anything to do with Axel?"

Roxas's only sign of hearing Demyx was the slight twitch his jaw had given, Demyx took that as an affirmative.

"So it _is _about Axel," Demyx 'hmmed' and decided to press his advantage even more, "So if it has anything to do with Axel then there must _also _be some connection to… Riku as well."

The twitch that ran through Roxas's body was so evident the shorter one nearly toppled over. Demyx smirked as Roxas straightened himself.

"Aha! I gotcha now," smirked the sitar player, "you're what people like to refer to as… Jealous!"

Roxas all but hissed back at him, "I am not jealous!"

"And now you're defensive too, what a lovely combination," said Demyx lightly, as if commenting on the weather.

Roxas growled, "Fine! So what if I am?! Does it really matter?!"

"Well, usually it wouldn't matter and I would tell you to sulk a little and then move on," said Demyx but he paused meaningfully and looked Roxas in the eyes before continueing, "but it does become a big deal when you tell Riku that Axel's head over heels for him in a vain attempt to tear them apart."

Roxas gaped at Demyx and opened and closed his mouth for a while.

"…How'd you find out about that?" he asked quietly after an awkward silence.

"I've been talking to one of Riku's friends Sora," said Demyx easily, "we've been doing some detective work."

Roxas cocked an eyebrow, "So what are you telling me to do now?"

"Move on," came the simple response, Roxas grimaced.

"But I…"

"Oh please Roxas," Demyx said exasperatedly, "let's not make this too difficult. Isn't there anyone else you're interested in that Sora and I can set you up with?"

Roxas was about to shake his head and say no but then he stopped and considered it for a moment. _Well… There was that girl at the rehab center…_

_"I'm sorry… I guess I should've been watching where I was going."_

"Well actually, now that you mention it…"

_"Guess I'd better get going. It was nice meeting you. Are you a patient here?"_

"There's this girl I met earlier today…"

_"Oh I see, I should be going… Bye…"_

Demyx smiled encouragingly, "Yes? Is she someone I know?"

"Well, she was at the rehab center so, maybe," Roxas's voice trailed off.

"Hm, now that we're on the topic," said Demyx thoughtfully, "it has been a while since you've gone out with a girl hasn't it?"

Roxas mulled over it, "Yeah it has."

"Still remember how to be the dominant one?"

"Demyx!" Roxas cried as he flung a pillow at Demyx's face.

"Sorry, sorry, right… Where were we?" Demyx paused, "Oh yeah, so what's her name?"

"I'm pretty sure it was… Namine."

------

"Hello? Is anyone home? I'm back!"

Riku stepped into his home, keeping a hand on the wall to steady himself as he pulled off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket. The house seemed unusually quiet for a weekday afternoon. _Did everyone go out without me?_

"Hello Riku!" called Natashi as he entered the silver-haired teen's line of sight, "How was school? Rehab? Anything big happening?"

"No nothing really," murmured Riku ducking his head and avoiding his father's gaze as he limped out of the entrance hall.

"What happened to your ankle?" asked Mr. Ishida, concern lacing his features.

"It's nothing, I tripped while I was walking," Riku responded quickly.

"Well it's not like you to just trip, mind if I see it?" Riku's dad moved closer to inspect the injured limb.

"I said it was nothing! And I already wrapped it so don't bother!" said Riku a little loudly as he attempted to dodge out of Natashi's grasp. But his injury was his downfall and pretty soon, Natashi had Riku sitting in a stool with his leg propped up on the kitchen counter.

"Well it's just a minor sprain," he concluded after much examination of the wound. Riku rolled his eyes, _Axel figured that out much faster than he did and without all the fuss…_

"Who did the bandages for you?" asked Natashi, folding his arms and looking at his son imperiously.

"Sora," Riku blurted before he could think it over.

"Sora?"

"Uh-huh, he and I were hanging out after school," Riku ad-libbed.

"You and Sora were hanging out after school?"

"Yes, now can I go do my homework? I have a lot."

Natashi sighed and closed his eyes, "Riku," he began, and Riku rolled his eyes and prepared for the lecture, "Sora called after you were supposed to leave rehab and asked if you could come over. He also mentioned something about not having any homework."

Riku opened his mouth and closed it, thinking quickly he said, "I probably arrived at his house after he called."

"What about the homework?"

"I just said that to get out of this lecture," said Riku blatantly, _Heck, it sounds honest enough._

"I see," Natashi tapped his nose thoughtfully, Riku always had thought it was a weird habit of his. In fact Riku's earliest impression of his dad had been that he had some sort of itchy-nose disorder, "Well in that case-

"Can I go now?" asked Riku desperately, "Come on… It's no big deal and this isn't some sort of crime investigation show. You've been watching way too mush TV."

"Fine," said Natashi, he knew when to admit defeat.

"By the way, where's mom?" asked Riku, pausing in the middle of his assent up the stairs.

"She went shopping with Resa," said his dad, still tapping his nose.

"Oh… okay," said Riku, sounding a little disappointed.

"Riku whatever you want to tell her, you can tell me you know," said the older of the two as he scratched his head, causing his red hair to get mussed up, "I'm here for you too."

"I didn't want to tell her anything," said Riku defensively and he was about to start heading up the stairs again but he stopped when his dad continued talking.

"Riku, we're your parents, you shouldn't hide things from us. Chances are we'll find out anyways."

Riku spun around on his heels and marched back down the stairs. His eyes were flashing a wide range of emotions. Each step he took was violent and jerky as if he was longing to kick something. And that something at the moment would have to be Natashi. In his anger he seemed to have momentarily forgotten about his ankle.

Natashi realized his mistake in words a second too late, and all at once Riku was standing face to face with him; nearly matching him in height.

"Now you listen to me," hissed the younger of the two as he jabbed Mr. Ishida in the chest with his index finger, "you're not my dad. You never will be. So don't start referring to yourself as my parent. Got it?"

Instead of waiting for an answer Riku began stomping up the stairs, not pausing or slowing in his stride once until he had reached his bedroom door and slammed it shut.

Natashi winced at the sound before sighing wearily and slumping against the counter. He put a hand to his face, _I'm such an idiot._

Upstairs in his bedroom Riku was pacing furiously, finally after several minutes he looked down at his right leg, the pants leg was rolled up to reveal some bandaging. Quite suddenly Riku found himself remembering his sprain and thus fell back onto his bed clutching it tightly.

"Shit," he whispered. After a while the pain died away and he sat up a little straighter. Though they hadn't been assigned any homework today, Riku was still pretty behind on his work. So like clockwork he dragged himself out of bed and hauled his body over to his desk.

As he worked his way through his homework slowly, but diligently, he faintly registered the faded sounds of Resa and Ritsuko as they got home from their day of shopping. He didn't bother going downstairs though. No doubt Natashi was informing his mom of their little argument that had taken place after school.

------

"Um… Professor Higuchi?"

Zexion looked up from his papers he was grading and smiled at Riku, "Yes, may I help you?" Riku smiled back and nodded.

"Uh, yeah," he muttered distractedly as he began rooting through his back pack, "I finished that history essay from two weeks ago," he said, with just a hint of apology for the delay, "Sorry it took so long…"

"That's fine, your father called in and told the faculty that something was up," said as his eyes skimmed Riku's paper when he took it from the teen.

As soon as he spotted the look on Riku's face he realized he probably shouldn't have said that. Though Zexion didn't know it, it was the day after Riku had yelled at Mr. Ishida and the wound was still fresh and stingy for the silver haired teen. Riku stiffened at the mention of his "dad".

"Oh, I see," he muttered darkly, "Did he mention anything specific?"

"No, how's your ankle by the way?" Zexion mentally kicked himself. _Oh shit! Lexaeus was right, I really can't keep my mouth shut!_

"My ankle? I don't remember mentioning it to you," Riku all but snarled, Zexion gulped nervously.

"Well I just noticed that you were limping a little and drew the line myself," said the older man, though he was known for being a totally blabbermouth he was a quick thinker. A lucky thing it seemed at that exact moment,

"Oh," said Riku, though it was evident he didn't buy it, "well it's just a minor sprang. Nothing serious. It should be better in a few days."

"Ah, I see… That's good to hear, how you hurt it?" asked Zexion.

"I tripped."

"…Of course, how silly of me," muttered the professor, looking at his desk and fiddling with the papers lying on it.

"Right, um," Riku began rooting through his bag again, "I have some of the other assignments I er… neglected to hand in on time. Here."

He shoved a stack of papers into Zexion's hands and made to turn away. He was stopped however when Zexion called him back, voice filled with surprise and he was obviously impressed.

"Riku did… How long have you been working on all this?" he asked in awe.

Riku fidgeted a little, pleasantly embarrassed, "I… I've been getting a lot of stuff done the past week."

"It's nice to see you're improving so much," said Zexion, smiling at Riku fondly, "If you don't mind me saying that is. It's not really my place…"

"No it's okay," Riku ducked his head, "I think you're right."

And with that he walked out of his professor's room and proceeded to get ready for rehab.

-----

"Hey Riku," said Sora cheerfully as he and Kairi bounded up to him in the hallway of their High School once the bell signaling the end of the day had rung, "wanna hang out after school?"

"Uh…" Riku stopped and considered this proposition, truth be told he'd been planning to head over to Axel's house after school, "actually I was… planning on going… uh… I have plans."

Kairi's look was crestfallen to say the least and even Sora couldn't stop his smile from twitching a little. There was a frown audibly tugging at his lips and Riku hated knowing it was his fault. Still, he had already made plans in his mind and he couldn't just change them for Sora and Kairi.

"Maybe sometime during the weekend?" asked Riku, offering a weak smile, "After all it is Friday. Um… I'll probably be free both days."

"O-… Okay," said Sora, during the few seconds Riku had been talking he'd managed to plant another warm smile on his face, along with smiling eyes, "Sunday sounds good to me, Kairi?"

The red head girl looked up, startled out of her musings, "Huh? Uh… Sure… That sounds great…"

Riku frowned, "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine," said Kairi quickly, she twirled around and faced both boys with her arms held akimbo, "I'm gonna get going now 'kay?"

"See ya!" called Sora holding up a hand to frame his mouth, next to him, Riku waved half-heartedly. He felt unusually bad about himself. He hadn't spent time with Kairi and Sora for a long time, maybe he should plan some stuff…

"Is something wrong with Kairi?" asked Riku quietly, suddenly he looked vulnerable and nervous all at once. Sora's expression softened.

"No, she's just a little stressed," said Sora, scratching the back of his head.

"…Is it… Because of me?" asked Riku timidly.

"Why would you think that?" asked Sora, knowing the answer already.

"I… I think I might've said some things that might've upset her," admitted the taller of the two as he hung his head, waiting for Sora to yell at him.

"Hey."

Riku blinked and looked up, Sora's hand was on his shoulder and he was staring hard at Riku. Riku stared back.

"It's okay, alright man? She's just a little sad because she thinks you're moving on and getting better and that you won't want us around anymore."

"She… She really thinks that?" asked Riku, Sora's explanation had startled him. He thought it was because Kairi was sick of looking after him. He'd never even thought that she didn't want him to get better. Riku frowned, that wasn't it either though was it? She wanted him to get better but at the same time, she didn't.

"I'm confused," said Riku quietly, "I… I don't know what to do anymore. I… Sora I think my… dad… hates me. And now Kairi's upset because of me, but I'm not even sure what I did wrong. The teachers are all talking about me behind my back and that makes me mad at them. But that's not right either is it? They're just looking out for me…" Riku was mumbling by this point, his thin hands were fiddling with the hem of his shirt and his gaze was downcast.

"Look Riku," said Sora, he was aware of the fact that Riku was getting upset by all this so decided to take his best friend's mind off things, "for now just do what you want. Try to catch up on your homework, not bite Mr. Ishida's head off at every turn," Riku pouted at Sora, Sora sighed and rolled his eyes, "Oh please Riku, you've got to stop… blaming him for things.

"And it might be a good idea to hang out with Axel a little more," the brunette added this like an after though. But it still caused Riku's head to jerk up in surprise.

"Yeah, I know all about you and him," said Sora, grinning easily.

"But, Kairi said you guys didn't get along," murmured Riku uneasily, "Why you want me to spend time with him if you don't like…" he left the sentence hanging.

"Because Axel seems to make you really happy," said Sora as if it were the simplest thing in the world, "He really does, in fact you've been improving a lot lately and I think it's all because of him. You should see him more. Don't worry about Kairi. She'll come around; I'll make sure of it!"

Riku nodded dumbly and began walking away, hesitantly at first but then he was taking normal strides. He turned back and waved at Sora calling out a quick, "See you later!" Sora was standing there and nodded in order to acknowledge Riku's words. He was still smiling his smile.

------

"Hey Riku, rehab just got out?" asked Axel casually as he leaned on his front doorframe and smiled welcomingly at the silver haired teen. Riku ducked his head and smiled a little.

"Um Axel?" he asked nervously, "I know this may seem a little strange but uh… Can you maybe help me with my homework?"

Axel blinked in surprise, cocking his head a little so that his red spikes shimmied ever so slightly. The stiff strands of fire brushed the door frame a little bit and made inaudible _swish_ sounds.

"Sure I'll help you!" he said, "You really don't have to ask. What subject?"

"Uh… Calculus," mumbled Riku.

"No prob! Come inside!"

It didn't take Riku long to figure out one thing. Doing school work with Axel was fun. When it came to math the red head had all sorts of colorful metaphors for each and every formula Riku needed help with. Quadratic functions were now associated with giraffes eating pink ice cream. The Pythagorean Theorem resembled a giant chunk of tofu floating in the ocean. And of course Axel had described symbolic manipulation as gay sex.

Riku had blushed furiously when Axel had launched into some long-winded explanation of the birds, the bees, and the x-intercepts.

But those colorful analogies Axel came up with weren't the only things Riku liked about doing home work with him. Riku also liked what Axel would do whenever one of the questions in Riku's math book stumped him.

First he would squint a little as if he thought he hadn't seen the question correctly. Then he'd try a few different methods of solving it (none of them worked of course). After that he would start getting irritated and would utter a few oaths under his breath. Next came the tantrums (Riku liked those; he thought they were fun to watch).

Axel jumped out of his chair and started pacing violently. Soon he began tugging on his flaming red locks. After a few minutes of this he would shout and rage until he burned out.

Then he'd trudge back to his seat at the table where Riku would be waiting for him quietly and with just a hint of amusement.

"Fucking theorems," muttered Axel grumpily, "what kind of fucking person spends their time inventing _theorems_?"

"Fucking idiots?" asked Riku, tilting his head to the side in mock thought. Axel smiled and punched him lightly in the arm.

"Yeah fucking idiots."

"That makes sense strangely enough," murmured Riku, and this time he actually was thoughtful.

"You doubted my methods?" asked Axel, aghast, "I'm insulted," he pouted and sulked in his little emo corner of misery. Riku found his smirk growing a little.

"Well let me put it this way," said the younger one delicately, "you're the only person I've ever met who would even think to compare symbolic manipulation with sex. Nevermind whether it's gay sex or otherwise… Does that make you feel better?"

"No."

"Axel, I love you but would you please help me out over here?"

"Fine, fine," he would say and by the time he turned around and faced Riku he would be grinning cheerfully.

------

It went on like that for a while until eventually Riku's homework was done. And by done Riku meant done. It was the first time he'd actually been done with homework for a long time. Usually when he said done, he meant he'd done enough for the day and was calling it quits.

But today he was done. As in finished. All gone. No more. Zip. Nada.

"I," Riku paused and cleared his throat, "I'm done with my homework."

"Yeah so?" asked Axel cocking an eyebrow.

"I haven't actually been _done _with my homework in so long, usually I'm always behind but…" Riku voice trailed off as he eyed his stack of paperwork he'd gotten through, he turned his gaze back on Axel and smile broadly, "I'm not even behind anymore! That's so weird… I've been so behind lately but… We just got it ALL done!"

Axel smiled back at his enthused boyfriend, "You don't say," he paused in thought for a while, "well this calls for celebration!"

"What do you mean?" asked Riku curiously.

"Well for now it means we're going to pig out on ice cream," said Axel cheerfully as he walked into his kitchen and began pulling out assorted flavors, "but tomorrow I'm gonna take you to the big park! You know the one in the downtown area? Right well, we can spend the day. That's okay with you right?" he looked up from the two big cups of ice cream he was currently scooping.

"Yeah it's fine," said Riku.

"Great! Here's your ice cream," said Axel handing Riku a large (_Very large_, thought the younger one) bowl full of the sweet mixture. It didn't help that the concoction was doused (quite literally) in caramel and chocolate syrup alike. He took it dumbly and stared at it.

"Uh… Thanks."

"Wanna watch a movie?" asked the redhead as he back-flopped onto the couch.

"Sure," said Riku nodding as he sat down, "what movie?"

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire."

Riku froze. _Oh crap._

"Uh…" he looked around the room and eventually his eyes landed on the sugary syrup in his bowl. Slowly he felt a small smile making its way onto his lips, "Actually Axel I just though of a few other things we could do today…"

**Author's Note:** YAY for kinky endings! So it's been a while. Please review to let me know people are still reading this. By the way I'm going on vacation soonish so it might be a little over a week until the next installment. Yeah.

By the way, I know that not much happened in this chapter… well that's because I'm setting the stage for the next one, in which much happens and…. Well… I don't want to give it away, so in case I forget I'm leaving some tissues out right now for those of you who are emotionally crippled 'kay? Lots of stuff's gonna happen in the next chappie.

YAY for Spring break!!!  
bliss


	9. A Quixotically Perfect Day

Chapter Uh… Hm… -scrolls up and checks previous chapter's number-… It's chapter nine already?! Yikes…

**Pre-Author's Note:** Here it is! Next installment! Hope it wasn't too long of a wait! Oh! By the way… Here the tissues –put out a box of Kleenex-, use them if you have to. So yeah I've decided to put in inserts from the songs I use at the beginning.

**Disclaimer:** Would you look at that llama dance?!

**Song:** Camisado (what does 'Camisado' mean anyway? Just out of question…)

------

_"This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor,_

_This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital_

_It's not so pleasant, and it's not so conventional,_

_It sure as hell ain't normal_

_But we deal, we deal…"_

------

Regular Saturday mornings at the Ishida residents went through a specific and regular pattern.

First Mr. and Mrs. Ishida would wake up and stretch and yawn and say their good mornings to eachother and all sorts of pleasantries would follow. Then Mrs. Ishida would get out of bed and begin breakfast, followed by her husband who would step outside for a moment to fetch the paper.

That was when and how Riku and Resa would typically awaken. To the sounds of clanging pots and the front door opening, and the scent of pancakes or waffles. However both kids had different ways of dealing with this noise.

Resa would yawn and stretch, blink sleepily while rubbing her eyes before clambering out of bed. When she stood on her fluffily carpeted floor she'd rock back and forth a few times; testing out the feel of the carpet as she pressed the balls of her feet to it in an impromptu happy dance. After this she'd proceed with skipping downstairs.

Now, Riku had a very different way of dealing with this.

There was a time when Riku would wake up grinning broadly; confident about the day's prospects. There was a time when he'd swing his legs over the side of his bed and stroll into his bathroom to wash up for the day before heading downstairs to hug his family in turn and ruffle Resa's already sleep mussed hair.

But those times had ended roughly two years ago.

This was a different time and Riku did not wake up the same way he used to.

These days when Riku awoke to the familiar sound of pots being placed on stoves and pancake batter getting mixed, Riku would frown and bury his head deeper into the pillow. Then the front door would open, and if it was winter or fall Riku could hear the sounds of wind whistling through it, and if it was spring or summer there'd be birds chirping. At this point Riku would groan and mutter a small, muffled profanity before pulling the sheets over his silver head.

All in vain though because this action only bought him about ten minutes of time until Resa would come skipping into his room, red hair messed up and wild looking so that she resembled a deranged lion. Then she'd promptly pounce onto poor Riku's bed and the next thing the teenager would know he'd somehow be sitting at his family's dining room table with a plate of whatever his mom had cooked in front of him and sleep crusted eyes.

And that was how an average Saturday morning went by at the Ishida house.

However today was not an average day for Riku. Not only was he caught up with his homework but he was also spending the entire day with Axel. As he woke up to the familiar sounds of his family waking he felt his heart give an excited thump when the redhead's face entered his mind.

He smiled and for once resumed his old Saturday morning habits of splashing water on his face, hugging parents and annoying little sisters.

His family watched all this happen in shock and some happiness. Finally, after watching Riku humming to himself, Mrs. Ishida cleared her throat and said, "So, um… Riku darling, you seem to be in a good mood today."

Riku just shrugged and continued eating, cheerfully indifferent to the stares he was receiving.

"Any particular reason why?" asked Natashi as he eyed his son's quickly emptying plate.

"No, not really," said Riku after swallowing a mouthful of pancake and gulping down some water, "I just have plans for later. I'll be heading out right after breakfast and coming back whenever."

"You're coming back 'whenever'?" asked Ritsuko, as she and her husband raised their eyebrows in identical skeptical looks.

"I know when that is," said Resa brightly, "it's right after 'sometime soonish' and a little sooner than 'later on'."

Her remark went unnoticed as Riku shifted guiltily under the glares of his parents. Eventually, after a long drawn-out silence he said, "When's dinner?"  
"Six thirty," said his mother stiffly.

"I'll be back by then okay?" asked Riku as he ate the last of his repast and drained his glass of water; "Okay?" he prompted again.

Mrs. Ishida sighed and nodded, "Where are you going with whom?"

"I'm going downtown with a friend," said Riku lightly.

"Who's the friend?"

"Where downtown?"

"Around the plaza and the big park area," said Riku finishing off one last piece of sausage.

"And who's going to be there with you?" pressed Mr. Ishida.

"Just a friend," said Riku, nimbly avoiding any names as he got up and started pulling on his shoes. Once he had the shoes on snug he tapped the tip of each foot against the floor a few times to fix the socks that had bunched up on the inside.

As he stepped out into the world and began making his way over to Axel's house his words seemed to echo in his mind. It seemed lying to his parents had become quite the habit of his lately.

_Ah well… It's not like I'm lying about anything BAD…_

------

Kairi was a sweet and gentle person by nature. She didn't like having fights with her friends and so when there was a problem, instead of making accusations (false or otherwise) she tried to reason it out; even if it resulted in her admitting she was wrong.

Fights that involve a friend's parent however are complicated.

For instance, if, hypothetically, one of her friend's fathers had called her asking about his son or daughter. She would offer to answer any hypothetical question said father had about his child. But if the father were to, hypothetically, ask her why his let's say son (just as an example) had an ankle that was, hypothetically, sprained. She would be confused by his question. After all, hypothetically she wouldn't have been there when the sprain occurred.

So, hypothetically, she would say that his son must've tripped and that that was what his son had, hypothetically, told her in school (assuming it was one of her friends that went to her school of course).

Now if, hypothetically, the father had asked her if his son was with… Sora, for example when the hypothetical sprain occurred and Kairi knew for a fact that Sora had hypothetically told her he hadn't been there when said injury took place well then…

She would stop and think over her answer to the hypothetical question. After all, she would wonder why the father was asking specifically and hypothetically about Sora. She would then assume that hypothetically her friend must have told his father that he was with Sora when said sprain took place because in reality her friend was with someone he didn't want his parents to know about. All hypothetically of course.

Thus Kairi would draw the line and tell the parent that yes, his son had been with Sora and had hypothetically tripped and sprained his ankle.

So when Kairi received a phone call on Saturday morning she was surprised to hear Mr. Ishida's voice on the other line.

"Oh, hello sir," she began politely, "is something wrong with Riku?"

"No, no," Natashi was quick to reassure, "I was just wondering about something… You noticed that Riku sprained his ankle?"

"Uh, yes I did," said Kairi, not sure of where he was going with this.

"Well do you happen to know _how_ he did it?" asked the older man, stressing out the 'how' as if he were pressing a fruit of some kind; trying to get out all the juice.

"Um, well, he told me that he tripped at school," said Kairi still not very confidently.

"Yes that's what he told me too…"

Something in Mr. Ishida's voice made Kairi frown suspiciously, "You don't believe him?" she inquired accusingly.

"Oh no, it's not that," said Natashi quickly, "but I was just wondering if you happened to know if Sora was with Riku when it happened."

Kairi opened her mouth, and stopped.

_Why would he only ask about Sora? Wouldn't he ask me if I was there? Unless Riku told him that… But at school, Sora asked Riku what was wrong with his ankle too. _

It didn't take long for Kairi to figure it out. If Riku had sprained his ankle and told his dad that he was with Sora when he sprained it but was NOT in fact with Sora… Then he must've been with someone else his parents didn't know about…

_Axel._

"Kairi?"

"I'm sorry, I spaced out for a little," said Kairi, throwing in a nervous laugh, "uh yes, he was hanging out with Sora. You know how rowdy boys can get."

_Oh yes,_ she thought acidly, _how rowdy indeed…_

Once she had hung up the phone she quickly began walking out the door and heading to Riku's place. If Axel was getting her friend into trouble than dammit she'd send him to hell and back in the most painful she could manage.

------

Roxas gulped and looked over at Demyx again, "Are you sure about this? I only talked to her once… What if she's some kind of freak?"

Demyx rolled his eyes, knocking his companion upside the head, "Stop worrying, if she is seriously unstable you can leave and never think about her again… Let's just try this out okay? See what happens… You never know, she could be the love of your life."

Now it was Roxas's turn to roll his eyes, "Whatever… Sheesh, you really are an inner romantic aren't you?"

Demyx made an indignant coughing noise before shoving Roxas step for step into the large building in front of them.

Inside they entered the front waiting room. Or lobby whatever you wanted to call it. Roxas walked up to the front desk nervously and gulped once again when the desk lady looked up at him and smiled.

"Yes? Can I help you?" she offered sweetly, practically beaming.

"Yes, thank uh…" he glance at her name tag, "Yes, thank you Rinoa, I was looking for a patient. I'm not sure if she's here today though…"

"Well if you tell me her name I can check on the computer to see if she has any activities planned here today or if she's one of our permanent guests."

When Rinoa spotted the horrified look on Roxas's face she quickly rectified her statement, "Oh no! It's nothing like that! I was just referring to the teens that live here in our dorm rooms that we offer!"

"Ah, I see, heh," Roxas laughed while scratching the back of his head.

"Now you were saying about her name…?"

"Um, well I'm pretty sure her first name is Namine and um… I don't know her last name," said Roxas, realizing how stupid he sounded as the words left his mouth.

"Namine hm?" she asked while tapping her chin thoughtfully, "I think you mean Namine Odori. Blonde haired girl? Pale blue eyes?"

"Yes that sounds like her" said Roxas nodding his head a little.

"Well let's check her information," said Rinoa, moving away a few feet to sit in front of a computer stationed behind the desk. As she typed away Roxas drummed his fingers on the desk and gave Demyx a reassuring smile and a thumbs up. Demyx grinned back but Roxas had to turn his attention away when Rinoa came back and began talking again.

"Well, it seems she had a private session with her personal psychiatrist today that ended about ten minutes ago," said Rinoa informatively, when she spotted Roxas's crestfallen look she added soothingly, "but she might still be here with friends or just getting away from home… Many of our patients here have rough lives at home and spend a lot of their free time here. If you're lucky she might still be here."

"Where would she be?" asked Roxas hopefully.

"Well, from what I've seen and heard of Namine," said Rinoa musingly, "she could just be sitting outside on some bench or in the lounge."

"Thanks a lot," said Roxas before grabbing Demyx and heading upstairs to the lounge after checking a map of the building that was hung conveniently on the wall.

When he reached the lounge Roxas instantly spotted Namine sitting on the couch watching the big screen TV.

"Hey Namine!" he called and watched in amusement as the blonde's head jerked up in surprise. When she noticed him she let out a startled, "Roxas!"

"Oooh," said a girl with luscious brown hair from the other side of the room, "Namine's got a mystery _visitor_."

"Quit it Lenne," said Namine quietly and once again Roxas couldn't help but think it sounded like the spoken language was something foreign to her. Her voice seemed like a ghost of sorts. Like it had died once but was now back; only a whisper of what it once was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, walking over to Roxas and Demyx with her hands clasped in front of her in a nonexistent prayer; she seemed sincerely curious.

For a moment Roxas just stood there like an idiot, after a minute's silence Demyx nudged him in the ribs and his mouth seemed to remember how to function properly, "Well you see, I ah… I wanted to see you again," Namine's mouth opened a little in surprise and Roxas continued, "the woman at the front desk told me that your private session or whatever just ended so… I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere?"

Namine stared back at Roxas for what seemed like a long time until she finally managed to get a word out.

"Okay…"

Roxas blinked a few times, "Really?" a nod, "That's great! I was thinking we could go to this one mall I know that's not too far away! We could hang out there for a while. Does that sound okay to you?"

Namine smiled and nodded briefly before following him out the door. She looked at Demyx keenly.

"I'm sorry, did you say your name?" she asked timidly.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Demyx," he said while extending her hand, which she took carefully avoiding eye contact, "Well," said Demyx happily, "I'll be seeing you guys! Have fun!"  
"Kay," said Roxas as he led Namine over to his car.

"You… can drive?" asked Namine, eyes widening slightly as Roxas began starting up the car. Roxas rolled his eyes. _It never ends…_

He looked at Namine, "Okay, how old do you think I am?"

"Um…" Namine looked dumbfounded for a moment before saying uncertainly, "Seventeen…? Sixteen?"

With an exaggerated groan, Roxas's eyes rolled to the heavens and he let his head fall to the steering wheel with a thump. Namine looked panic-stricken.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" she wailed, gripping Roxas's shoulder, "How old are you?! I thought- I mean- you look like my age but-… Aish!"

Roxas looked up at Namine's horrified face and trembling twitchy manner. He snorted before putting a hand on her head in a calming manner, "Jeez," he muttered, "You're like a chicken with its head cut off when you panic you know that? I was only kidding… Besides everyone thinks I'm sixteen or something like that. It's cool."

"So…" said Namine cautiously once she had stopped hyperventilating, "How old _are _you then?"

Roxas chuckled and looked at his feet for a moment, Namine just blinked and peered at him curiously, "I'm…" he began and cleared his throat, "I'm twenty years old."

…

"WHAT?!"

------

"I thought you said you'd been here before," commented Axel mildly as he watched Riku's awestruck expression. They had reached the park, which was more like a huge plaza, and so far Riku was gawking like a wannabe tourist.

Said tourist frowned at Axel's words, "I have it's just… Been a long time… A lot's changed."

"No kidding," said Axel taking in his surroundings with light interest.

Suddenly Riku turned to Axel and smiled, "C'mon!" he said grabbing Axel's wrist playfully and tugging him into the mass of crowds and food stands.

The plaza was fairly large in size. There was one area where the ground was completely covered in smooth stone tiles. On each end of the large slab of stone was a fountain that sprayed water onto the tiled area. Kids and adults alike were walking through the ankle-deep water, there bare feet splashing along the surface of the pristine substance.

There were two flower gardens set up on opposite ends of the park; each one had many little paths winding through it so that onlookers could view the foliage without damaging it. There was also a maze. It was the same kind they had at farms and carnivals. Except that instead of having been made in a corn field; tall and strong bushes lined the walls of the maze. Intimidating and unmoving, it was like they were daring people to try and make it through the maze.

For the rest of the afternoon Axel and Riku wandered around the plaza. Stopping to eat lunch at the café, and sometimes just taking breaks to sit on one of the benches. During their times sitting on the benches Riku would whip out his sketch book along with a set of colored pencils and draw the scenery around them, sometimes including the people that were walking around.

Eventually Axel looked at the time on his cell phone and decided they should start heading back to the car. Riku protested, claiming that they couldn't leave without wading through the ankle-deep makeshift pool that had the black stones lining the floor. Axel agreed on the condition that after splashing around for a while they'd leave.

As they headed for the fountains however their attention was drawn by a large crowd located near the edge of the street that separated the plaza from the rest of the big city.

"Wonder what's up," murmured Axel as they drew nearer to the crowd.

------

The restaurant that Roxas took Namine to had a TV. It was a quaint little café-like place. Just a little fancier than casual but still nowhere near dressy. They served all different types of food, from pastas to good old-fashioned burgers. In any case there was definetly something for everyone.

And so it was Namine found herself eating angel hair pasta with marinara sauce seated opposite of the blonde haired, blue-eyed boy who'd recently become just as obsessed with her as she had with him.

Everything was going well until…

"Hey! Everyone quiet down!" yelled a woman seated near the TV, she was standing up and glaring at the glowing screen, after a while she called over a waiter who turned up the volume on the TV. Roxas and Namine looked at it along with everyone else in the room.

The anchorman on the screen looked out at his audience with a grave expression on his face, "We've just received word that earlier today a young boy was found dead on the streets of the city. We're unsure yet of how he was injured but drunk driving is a prime suspect."

Everyone in the restaurant looked rightfully saddened by the news.

"Now here's our reporter Yuna at the scene of this tragedy."

"Hello Vincent," said the pretty woman who had appeared on screen, she was standing in front of a huge mass of people. _Presumably surrounding the boy, _thought Namine sadly.

"I'm here at the downtown plaza and the mood is chaos," said Yuna gravely, "it seemed a young boy appearing to be in his mid-teens-

_That's about the same age as me, Denzel and Riku, _thought Namine, trying and failing to imagine how horrible it would be for any three of them to die at the prime ages of their lives-

"Although I haven't gotten a chance to see the boy's body yet, the word is that he's sadly dead," Yuna bowed her head a little before returning to her speech, mourning the loss of some poor soul she'd never met. Usually in situations like these Namine would resent the newsmen and women alike. They acted sorry but in truth they didn't know any of the people they reported on.

Yuna, however, was different. Namine could tell, it was written all over her face that she was sincerely upset by this loss of life.

"Our camera man has just managed to squeeze through the crowd for a glimpse of the victim's face," said Yuna and in an instant the scene changed. They could see what looked like a puddle of blood through the sea of heads and people. Finally after much jostling of the camera and image on the screen alike the diners in the restaurant saw a clear shot of the boy's face.

Namine could've sworn she felt her heart and breathing stop along with time.

------

"Riku? Riku?!" Axel looked around desperately in the mess of squirming bodies. He turned his head for one second and the younger teenager was gone, silver hair and all. Now, as he scanned the crowd looking for a sign of his lover Axel wondered how Riku could be so hard to find with his signature hair…

_Ah well, _he thought, _he must've tried to get a loot at what's going on. _

After all, Riku could be pretty squirmy when he wanted to be. Axel figured he must've managed to get through the bustling hubbub of people and reporters.

That was when Axel heard it.

**"DENZEL!!!"**

------

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Namine dully registered the fact that she was on her knees screaming. Her hands had flown over her mouth and she had just flat out collapsed against the hardwood floor in the restaurant.

In an instant Roxas was by her side squeezing her shoulders with his hands and trying to get a look at her face. This was fairly difficult seeing as how she was rocking back and forth convulsively.

"Namine," he said softly but with a calmness that forced her to look up at him, "Namine what's wrong?"

Slowly she managed to drag some words out from the depths of her throat, "I… I knew him," she whispered as more tears continued to stream down her face in crystal-like rivers. Roxas blinked and looked taken aback for a moment.

"Namine I… Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes I'm sure," she cried pointing at the screen shakily where they were showing another shot of the boy from a different angle, "he… he was my best… best… friend," she moaned before collapsing into Roxas in a broken heap.

After a moment's hesitation Roxas wrapped his arms around her securely and held her steady while she shook.

Everyone at the restaurant was staring at the two. Eventually a woman with a kind face and brown hair tied back in a braided ponytail tapped Roxas on the shoulder.

"Is she going to be alright?" she asked gently, Roxas looked at Namine quivering form and then back at the woman.

"I'm not sure what to do…" he said, almost pleading for this woman to help him.

Another woman with the largest chest Roxas had ever seen walked over to the three of them and knelt down.

"Hey," she said, looking at Roxas firmly, "I'm Tifa and this is my friend Aerith. I'm the owner of this restaurant. Is there some kind of problem going on here?"

"Well," said Roxas uncertainly, "it would seem that she knows that boy on the screen there," he gestured toward the television where the reporters were wrapping up the story of the drunken driver accident.

On screen they showed one last scene of a teenager with silver hair sobbing beside the boy.

"Riku," whispered Roxas his eyes going wide. Namine looked up at the screen. It seemed Riku was near hysterics, as the paramedics arrived Riku clutched to the body refusing to let go. That was when a lean, red headed man came into the picture. With a strong but firm touch he eventually managed to draw Riku away from Denzel's body along with the help of a brunette girl Roxas didn't know.

"Oh my God," she whispered before dissolving into tears again, "Roxas… I… Denzel… One of my best friends is… He just… Lying… The blood…"

"Here," said Tifa pulling Namine and Roxas to their feet a little roughly, "look kids I feel for you, I really do," she said sympathetically, "but right now I don't think you should be staying here. It'd be best if you both went home and got some rest.

"Aerith would you mind taking them both home?" asked Tifa looking at the woman in the pink dress. _Aerith,_ Roxas reminded himself silently.

"Sure thing," said Aerith nodding sweetly she guided Roxas and Namine out of the restaurant. And as they were being led away both Roxas and Namine found that they didn't care about the people staring at them, or how they hadn't paid for meal or the fact that they were letting a total stranger drive them home.

In fact neither one let their faces display any emotion until they'd both reached their separate beds in their separate homes. And then they cried. They both cried.

Roxas cried for the boy he'd never known. He cried for the silver haired boy he'd tried so many times to emotionally wound. And he cried thinking about what Axel must be going through right now.

Namine cried for one of her first and only best friends. She cried for the good-natured boy who had stuck with her even before she started talking again. And she cried both for the sorrow she felt and the pain her other friend felt.

------

The first thing Riku felt was numbness. A totally eclipsing numbness that seemed to engulf his entire being in icy cold. He didn't feel anything, for the image he'd seen before him had yet to register within his mind.

Then slowly the shock pealed away into disbelief and finally… Overwhelming grief and pain. The kind of emotional pain he hadn't felt for the longest time.

Two years in fact…

His eyes roved over the blood, the smashed and broken body… The eyes that lacked both sight and life. The tussled mop of reddish brown hair that was now stained red with blood… And then there were the pale pink scars running up and down his arms.

_Scars that had been healing… Scars that had been getting better._

And with that last thought Riku broke. Shattered. First he broke into little pieces, only to have those small pieces break again into even tinier ones. He crumpled.

Grabbing and screaming and crying and outright sobbing. His head was bent and he let out gut wrenching scream after gut wrenching scream. Once he'd screamed himself hoarse he merely clutched at his friend's lifeless body, uncaring towards the blood he was getting on himself.

It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to arrive. But when they did Riku knew forever obviously hadn't been long enough. He refused to let go and clutched to Denzel. And the fact that he knew they would eventually take Denzel away only made him feel more helpless.

"Riku," his name was spoken calmly but with a hint of sadness and Riku soon found himself being embraced from behind by a pair of wiry arms. Red hair brushed his head lightly. He turned in those arms to face Axel who solemn expression only helped to send him into another wave of tears.

"Axel," he whimpered, "it's Denzel. He's… Dead."

"I know," murmured Axel quietly into Riku's ear, "but you have to let go of him okay? The hospital will take care of the rest. Just let him go."

Riku made a pitiful sound in the back of his throat and his grip on Denzel tightened, "N-No…"

"Riku," came another voice. It was different from Axel's. Crisper, calming, intelligent yet soothing. And for whatever reason it gave Axel the sense of cucumbers. He turned to see a girl with viridian green eyes and mildly curly brown locks of hair.

"Hey, Riku, it's me. It's Ollete. I'm here okay?"

The girl was kneeling next to Axel and had put both her hands on Riku's shoulder.

"Now come on," she said with just a hint of authority, "you've gotta move now okay? Get up."

And just like that Riku stood, letting Denzel's body go and allowing the girl –Ollete- and Axel and lead him over to a nearby bench.

"I'm Ollete," she said, turning to Axel as they both stood on either side of Riku.

"I'm Axel," came the automatic response, "so… friend of his?"

"Yup," Ollete gestured to the emotional heap that had become of Riku, "we better get him all cleaned up. And maybe while we're at it, you can start telling me why you were hanging out with Riku today."

"Um… Well…" Axel tugged at his shirt, "I guess I'm his boyfriend."

Ollete's eyes widened considerably, "Is that so? You better start explaining fast."

**Author's Note:** I just want you all to know that I missed a new episode of my favorite show to write this. Anyways, sorry to leave it at such a cliff hanger. I'll do my very best to update as soon as possible, I swear! By the way, I was working on developing my writing style in this chapter. Care to tell me what you think?

Also, I'm getting a lot of homework today so I didn't have much time to check for errors in the writing so… I apologize if there are a lot of mistakes. But think about it this way, either you live with a few mistakes or you would've had to wait a week or two until I'd gotten enough time to double-check.

bliss


	10. Call Me Anytime

Chapter Ten

**Pre-Author's Note:** Don't. Don't even start with me. If I hear one little mention about how long it's taken me to update I swear I will rip whoever says its throat out. Yes. I am pissed. Very, very pissed. And at this exact moment in time I don't give a fuck whether or not you were waiting for this story to get updated 'kay?

Oh! And another quick note: the excessive amount of "sighing" in this chapter is supposed to be sort of… Symbolic. I guess that's the word. Either way, it was repetitive on purpose 'kay?

**Disclaimer:** …You know what? No. I'm not even going to bother.

**Song:** Death Said

------

…_The oxygen I'm taking in,_

_I'm taking seriously,_

_Death said: "Ready? You might go,_

_You never know."_

_Upsetting? I know,_

_I'm here to let you down…_

------

Riku was only dully aware of the fact that Ollete and Axel were steering him over to a bench maybe, oh, twenty feet from where the accident (_oh, god no, just an accident?)_ had taken place. There was blood staining his shirt and hands. Trembling hands too.

_Oh my,_ thought Riku with detached, vague amusement, _I really am a mess aren't I?_

Ollete was rubbing his back rhythmically, Axel had an arm wrapped around his (shaking) shoulders and was squeezing his left shoulder in a gesture that was firm, yet comforting. In a strange way.

Still all the same Riku appreciated their efforts.

Eventually after who knows how many minutes had passed Riku's eyes dried up and his breathing returned to about normal (if a little ragged from all the sobbing and screaming). After that he sort of sank into a numb eclipse. Everything just seemed so dull. So vague and frosted over, yet at the same time sharp and cruel.

"I want to be alone now."

He wasn't even aware of telling his mouth to say those words out loud. It had only just registered that he had _thought _them, much less _spoken _them.

"Please?"

He could feel Ollete's hand stop its motion, Axel's squeeze lessen a bit.

"Alright."

And quite suddenly he was sitting alone on that bench. Dejected. Isolated.

Riku's dulled aqua discs scanned the area around him. He didn't even bother to move his head or tilt his neck at whatever angle. Nope, he just sort of let his eyes skim and dance around in their sockets. Taking in the world.

Somewhere in the back of Riku's mind he thought that it was strange that just about twenty minutes ago he was laughing and having fun with Axel. And now here he was… Completely…

_What's the word?_ He wondered blandly. _Cold? Emotionless? Shocked?_ Well, whatever the case, he was certainly not miserable. He knew that for fact. The trauma and depression had yet to sink in. If anything, he supposed the best way to sun up how he was feeling was… _**Not quite alive.**_

_There we go, _he thought triumphantly, _that's how I'm feeling._

And then he sighed. He took in a long breath and let it all whoosh out of his mouth. A sigh. Just to remind him that he was alive. Just to feel like he was alive. And it took away the pain for a moment. If only for a moment.

So he did it again. He sighed; stretching out the exhale for as long as he could in order to really measure the air, and really feel it getting pushed out of his lungs. It was like his body was rejecting it.

It felt good. A nice little reminder of the fact that yes indeed, Riku was still alive. After all this shit he was still alive.

_I'm not sure if that means I'm very lucky, or very unlucky…_

------

Namine sighed wearily.

She was tired. Too, too tired to even move. Her eyes were dry and puffy and her clothes were disgruntled and wrinkly. Her hair was also messed up from the impact of her head against the cushioning of her bed.

Heaving another exhausted sigh she gradually began pulling herself out of her bed; she did so slowly on purpose. She purposely dragged out each movement. It was like a punishment. Because if she dragged it out enough she would be able to concentrate more on the pulling of the muscles, and the bending of the joints.

And if she focused on those things enough, it would remind her that she was alive. It would remind her she was still alive and that Denzel wasn't. Denzel wasn't alive. He was dead.

So she kept reminding herself that she was alive and Denzel wasn't.

And there was no greater punishment than that.

------

Axel sighed wearily and ran a hand through his hair. He was tired. It seemed like lately (ever since he'd gotten so involved in Riku's seriously screwed life) he had been riding an emotional roller coaster. And to say the least, it was quite draining. Axel almost felt the urge to turn to his old anti-drug.

Coffee.

Yes there had definetly been a time when he'd been well… The only word had to be: addicted. Completely and totally addicted to coffee. Hell, he'd spent a good year of his life running on almost entirely coffee.

And right now, to Axel's emotionally drained mind, coffee sounded pretty damn good.

Because quite frankly he was sick of having to go through this whole "interrogation routine" with each and every one of Riku's friends. Axel wouldn't be surprised if they hired a private investigator to spy on him next.

Beside him Ollete cleared her throat, snapping him out of his suspicions. She eyed him thoughtfully; it wasn't exactly the hard, ready-to-totally-rip-your-spleen-out look that Kairi gave him whenever she was "protecting" Riku from him. It wasn't the excruciatingly critical look Sora gave him. And it wasn't even the exasperated; roll of the eyes Demyx always seemed to give him whenever Riku was mentioned.

No, Ollete, if anything, seemed rather fair in Axel's eyes. Sure she could be harsh if the situation called for it. But overall she seemed willing to give people the chance to explain themselves.

Axel bit his lip before talking, "I met Riku in the mall. We went out for Chinese. I didn't think much of it but then… Well we met up a few more times by chance and well… Things just kinda went from there."

Ollete just stared at him for a bit, as if trying to tell if he was trying to tell the truth or not. When she opened her mouth, Axel expected some sort of comment or serious question. He never could've prepared himself for what she said next.

"Have the two of you had sex yet?"

Axel blanched and choked on his own spit, "What?!"

She blinked her eyes at him innocently and tilted her head curiously, "I was just asking… It just… I could easily see you doing it… But definetly not Riku. Not in his condition."

Axel scoffed, "Why does everyone make me out to be a pervert?" When Ollete shrugged in response he sighed before saying, "Well, whatever you think… We haven't. I can't say I haven't been thinking about it. But don't worry. I know he won't be ready for anything for long time…"

Ollete raised her eyebrows, "So you're actually planning on sticking with him? Like a serious relationship? This isn't just a… three month fling type of thing?"

"Well no, I mean," Axel hesitated, "I haven't really thought about it that much but… I do know that it's serious I just…" He let his sentence fall and his eyes drifted to the floor. In all honesty he really hadn't thought about just how long this thing between he and Riku would or _could _last.

"It's okay," said Ollete, shrugging just a little, "I suppose you do have a lot to think about… I mean… Ever since the incident he's gotten-… Well any relationship with him in it is bound to be difficult."

What Axel did next surprised her. He scoffed (rather irritably) and rolled his eyes (rather exaggeratedly).

"What was that for?" asked Ollete, frowning a little.

Now Axel REALLY scoffed.

"The _incident_," he sneered, "That's all I ever hear about from you guys," he said accusingly, jabbing his finger at Ollete pointedly, "when it comes to Riku all you guys can talk about is this fucking _incident_. And yet somehow, you always manage to avoid actually telling me what all this incident shit is about.

"Now, I want some answers," he continued firmly, his gaze hard and penetrating, "I'm sick of you guys always dodging around any sort of direct answer. Everytime I talk to any one of you, his _friends,_ all I get are pathetic, crappy, fucking _**hints**_!

"And I for one am sick of it. I want answers. Now."

Ollete looked at him, thoroughly bewildered by his response, "Axel I… You mean you don't know?" Axel glared at her; she gulped and continued, "After all this time, no one's told you anything about what's actually happened to him?"

Axel gave a curt nod before snapping, "That's right. All I ever get is this complete bull shit about how Riku is too sensitive and unstable for a relationship right now. No one ever bothers telling me _why_."

"Well I…" Ollete hesitated, "Axel, I-… Well first of all, I have to agree with you on that. It wasn't fair for them to avoid answering your questions because you were perfectly entitled to those answers. But I- I don't really think I'm the right person to be-

"Don't finish that sentence," he growled, "if they're not going to tell me then this just goes to show them that they should've told me sooner. Now it's your turn to talk."

Ollete mulled over his words for a bit before nodding and smiling at him, "I guess that's about right. Okay well… Where to begin? Hm… This could be tricky…"

Axel smirked; pleased with himself for finally hunting down a friend of Riku's who was willing to sing. Ollete placed the tips of her fingers together contemplatively, and hummed pensively. Finally she nodded as if finally deciding where this whole mess had started.

"Well, first off," she began once again in her fresh, crisp, cucumber-esque voice, "you have to know what Riku was like before all of this happened...

"Before the incident, Riku was… Well I think the word a lot of people would use is perfect. I don't agree with that. Nobody's perfect. But still, I can understand why they would say that. Anyway, he was really involved though. Very confident too. He participated in a lot of different sports.

"He got great grades… He had some girlfriends… Myself included."

Axel choked, "You're Riku's ex-girlfriend?!" he spluttered.

"Yes," said Ollete, only blushing slightly, "we'd always been good friends so we decided to give a relationship a try… It didn't work out though, it was like kissing my older brother," she and paused while she and Axel simultaneously shuddered, "So yeah basically, as I was saying, Riku was pretty much involved in everything. A lot of people really like him, even looked up to him in some cases…"  
"That sounds nothing like the Riku I know," said Axel, and though the comment was spoken lightly, there was an underlying serious tone to it.

"Yes well…" Ollete hesitated slightly before continueing, "a lot has happened… First of all, the one thing you should know is that Mr. Ishida isn't Riku's biological father."  
"…What?" asked Axel incredulously.

"Riku's real father was killed in a… Incident, for lack of a better word, two years ago. His name was Sho Ionza. He and Ritsuko, Riku's mother, had three children. Ven, Terra and Riku. Ven was Riku's older brother. Terra was his little sis.

"One night while the Ionzas were hosting their annual New Year's party Mrs. Ionza, now known as Mrs. Ishida, ran out of some ingredients she needed for dinner. Mr. Ionza, Ven, Terra and Riku all volunteered to go."  
Axel held up a hand to interrupt her, "They ALL volunteered to go together?"

Ollete shrugged, "They liked doing things together. I know this sounds cheesy Axel but you've got to understand, the Ionza family was one of those happy families. They got along, they had fun together… It was literally one of those picture perfect families. Which makes what happened all the more sad.

"While they were all walking home, enjoying the fresh air, well…" Here Ollete stopped abruptly, catching her breath. She looked at Axel shakily, there was a tear clinging to her eye, "Are you sure you want-

"Please," said Axel desperately, "I need to know. Please. Just finish the story."

"Alright," she drew a trembly breath before pressing onwards, "This is where it gets kind of hard to know what happened. You see aside from Riku the only people who really know what happened that night are in jail.

"The four of them were attacked," said Ollete, bluntly, plainly, to the point, "they were attacked on the way home. It was some sort of gang incident… From what I've heard…" she bit her lip, a few pristine tears falling freely down her face, "They killed Terra first. There was no warning. One second they were all walking the next they heard a bang and Terra was on the ground bleeding," Ollete, now visibly shaking, had to restrain her voice as she continued telling a story she didn't want to tell.

"When Ven saw the gang members he ran at them, Riku tried to help him but his dad held him back. So Riku was pushed aside while he watched his brother and father both try to fight off the gang."  
"How many people were there? In the gang, I mean," said Axel quietly.

"Five I think," answered Ollete in a sort of choked whisper, "eventually Riku tried to help too… But… Well no one will ever really know exactly what happened in that fight. But in the end, Sho Ionza died from numerous gun wounds and Ven bled to death. He was stabbed in the stomach. Riku- Riku was… They…"

"Yes…?" asked Axel, dreading the answer but knowing he needed it.

"They raped him," she whispered quietly, "after they…finished with him they hurt him some more. He was cut up very badly. Then he tied them up, he couldn't move at all. He just had to lie there, watching his brother bleed to death right in front of him. He couldn't do anything, he just…" Ollete stopped there. Unable to continue she looked at the ground, refusing to meet Axel's gaze.

Finally Axel broke the silence, "Why?" he whispered.

Ollete's head snapped up; she stared at him, Axel's eyes were fixed on Riku, twenty feet away and curled up on a bench. She let her gaze too drift and settle on Riku's form.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Why did they attack that family? Why them? Why Riku?"

"It was an unmotivated attack," said Ollete, "the group was probably just drunk and looking for a good time… Or something. As for Riku, well I guess they just like the way he looked."

Axel was silent for a long time, after a while he turned to Ollete and said, "So why is Riku an Ishida now? Who's this Natashi Ishida fellow?"

"Natashi Ishida," said Ollete, "is one of the many police that was working on the Ionza case. He and Ritsuko met up after Sho's death and well, she needed comfort. Mrs. Ishida is one of those women that need a husband. It makes her feel better about herself. Mr. Ishida has a daughter named Resa. His first wife died in child birth, so that's why Resa is there."

"I take it Riku didn't take to the new dad very well," said Axel bitterly.

"No he didn't," admitted Ollete, shaking her head sadly, "it doesn't help that he hates cops."  
"Why does he hate cops?" asked Axel curiously.

Ollete met his gaze, "He believes that, if the police had found him and his family in that alleyway sooner… Ven would still be alive."

Axel thought this over, "I guess I can't blame him for that then…"

"Yeah," muttered Ollete, she clasped her hands behind her back and strolled over to Riku. The silver haired teen was still sitting on the bench, dull, glazed-over eyes staring blankly ahead of him. Ollete bent down to his eye level and spoke in a friendly voice.

"Well Riku," she said somehow managing to get across the perfect balance of cheerfulness and sadness/understanding, "I really hope you fee better soon. And I hope I see you in school on Monday too okay?" she looked at him sympathetically, patted his shoulder briefly, and then she was off. Axel watched her progress as she left the park and turned the corner.

"Hey Riku," said Axel coming up from behind him and sitting next to him on the bench. From his position next to the younger of the two he eyed Riku warily. Riku showed no interest in the red head and didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Look," said Axel putting an arm around Riku, "I know you're upset. And I know you must be going through hell right now but… You can't cut other people off like this. You can't just ignore them. You can't just… Riku please talk to me. Come on."

Slowly, as if weighed down, Riku lifted his face to meet Axel's, "What time is it?" he asked in the smallest voice Axel had ever heard him use.

Axel flipped open his cell phone and checked the time, "Almost six, why?"

"I'm going to be late for dinner."

"Oh," said Axel, blinking rapidly, "Okay then. Here c'mon, we'll start heading back."

"Kay," said Riku dully, he stood and allowed Axel to take his hand and begin leading him back to the car, though when Axel squeezed his hand he made no move to squeeze back.

When they finally pulled up about a block away from Riku's house Riku paused as he was stepping out of the care. Turning to Axel quickly he said, "Axel?"

"Yeah, Riku?"  
"Thanks for taking me out today I-…" he looked at the floor before continueing, "I'm really… glad I was there to see him… Maybe um… Maybe we can get together again soon?"

"No problem," said Axel grinning broadly, "Call me anytime."

------

Demyx sighed dreamily.

_This is what going to the beach is all about…_

He giggled like a school girl at that thought, eyes shut tightly with pleasure. Yes indeed, it was widely known (and accepted) that Demyx spent a LOT of his time at the beach. Though the reason behind it wasn't clear to many. Except Axel of course, because Demyx told him everything. And Larxene knew too because well, when it came to Demyx she knew everything. So if Larxene knew then so did Marluxia because those two always hosted little "gossip sessions" with one another. Which meant that at some point Roxas and Luxord would find out so…

Okay, so maybe there were quite a few people who knew. But only Demyx's closest friends. Other than that he made a point to make sure that NO ONE knew his secret. Usually Demyx had a pretty big mouth, but when it came to _this_… Well… He'd decided that _this_ would always remain his own secret treasure.

He grinned. Keeping secrets was fun!

"Oi! Xigbar!" Demyx watched as another older man jogged over to Xigbar, _Demyx's _Xigbar reminded the blonde sharply.

"Hey Saix," said Xigbar casually as the silver haired male finally reached him, "What's up?"

Demyx sighed from his spot a good fifteen feet away. How he loved that voice. _Xigbar sounds so… cool…_ He thought dazedly as he continued watching his raven haired idol over the top of his magazine.

And this was why Demyx went to the beach, to watch Xigbar. It was one of his favorite past times these days. Heck, whenever Demyx was bored he'd just slap on some sunscreen and head on down to the beach. Then he'd grab a magazine and use it to shield himself from Xigbar's line of vision so that he could safely stalk his obsession.

"You ready to take a brake?" asked Saix, nodding pointedly at the surfboard Xigbar had tucked under one arm. Xigbar sent the ocean one last longing look before sighing and saying, "Sure."

Demyx frowned; he'd wanted to see Xigbar surf more… Pooh.

"C'mon!" said Saix pulling Xigbar over to the large group of towels where the rest of their little gang was sitting. Xemnas, Vexen, Lexaeus, Xaldin and Zexion. Together with Xigbar and Saix they were a group of the coolest people Demyx had ever laid eyes on.

Normally Demyx was perfectly content with just watching the group from afar and listening to their conversations about things he wasn't cool enough to understand. But after pushing Roxas into going after Namine, a girl he'd never _really_ talked to, then Demyx could sure as hell talk to a guy he knew like the back of his hand. Well sort of.

Taking deep breaths he steeled himself to go over there and talk to them. Them. Including Xigbar. Demyx was going to talk to Xigbar.

Oh God.

He caught his breath and started heading towards their area, his steps were quick and jerky and his pace was choppy and uneven. His hands also seemed to be having problems staying still, he mused as he noticed them twitching and fiddling with his clothes.

"Um, uh, H- hi!" he blurted nervously once he had reached the group. Xemnas and the others all looked up and stared at him, expressions showing a hint of annoyance. Xigbar's face, however, was a littler softer.

"Hey," he said casually, Demyx internally groaned. He couldn't do this…

"Um, I-…" he stuttered, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor, "I was just wondering if maybe I could sit with you guys because well I'm kinda on my own today so uh… Yeah."

"Sure."

Demyx looked up and gawked, "Really?!" he exclaimed.

"Really?" asked Xemnas skeptically.

Xigbar shrugged, "Sure, seems like a cool kid," he grinned.

"Thanks," said Demyx sitting down cross-legged on one of the many towels the group had stuck together, "So what are you all talking about?" asked Demyx, pretending he hadn't been listening to their conversation just a minute ago.

"Actually we were just watching the news on Zexion's portable TV," said Xigbar gesturing at the small glowing screen, "some drunken driving accident down town. Some sick bastard ran over a kid."

"Oh that's terrible," said Demyx expression falling. That was when his eyes landed on the screen and saw the scene getting played. A bloody body, panicked onlookers, stressed out paramedics and… And sobbing silver haired teen getting dragged away from it all by none other then…

"Axel," whispered Demyx leaning forward, eyes glued to the screen.

"What?" asked Xaldin, everyone's eyes had turned to Demyx. The panic-stricken blonde didn't meet their gazes his was drinking in the entire report anxiously.

"Oh shit," he whispered as he finally recognized Denzel's torn body. _That was Riku's friend from rehab…_ And Riku had been at the site of the accident. With Axel.

"Oh shit," he whispered once again, this time more urgently, "Oh shit, shit, shit… Denzel… Riku… Axel… Oh shit."

"Hey man, something wrong?" asked Xigbar, and Demyx was too distracted to allow himself a flutter of girlish happiness at the concern evident in Xigbar's voice.

"I know them," said Demyx, apparently just thinking out loud to himself, "Oh God, I gotta go," he said standing abruptly, his movements filled with a desperate sense of urgency.

"You need a ride?" asked Xigbar also standing and beginning to follow Demyx as he walked over to where his things were.

"Uh," Demyx hesitated, _Well I _do _need a ride…_ "Sure," he said nodding once, appreciatively, "that would be great. Thanks."

"Anytime," said Xigbar, "My name's Xigbar by the way."

_I know,_ though Demyx quietly, but on the outside he said, "Nice to meet you, I'm Demyx."

And as worried and apprehensive as he was… He couldn't help but think _Score! _As he stepped into Xigbar's car.

------

**Author's Note:** There's really no excuse for how long it's taken me to update, I know people, and I'm sorry I'm such a lazy bitch. Right now though, I have to say I am not in the mood for criticism so please try and bear with me. With any luck it will never take me this long to update again.

Anyways I was super busy this week. I think I had like five concerts, during three of which I had three solos. Yeah. Sucks.

A guy at my school was arrested yesterday for threatening other students with a pair of scissors. Pretty scary actually, I mean if you think about it, I actually talked to the guy a few times. He's now in a mental institution getting serious help. I'm not joking.

So moving on, that's given me a lot to think about. Also I've been sick lately so I'm thinking of conveying some of the more interesting moments of my time sick into this story. I think I'll have Namine catch the bug I did.

All the same, please review people! Nothing would brighten me up more!

bliss


	11. Some Sunny Day

**Pre-Author's Note:** Well… At least I did it in under two months right? Heh heh…

-ducks behind desk-

DON'T SHOOT MEEE!!

**Disclaimer:** What did you just say to me? Uh, I don't think so girlfriend! You wanna mess? Huh? Huh? No, I didn't think so… That's right you better run foo'!

**Song:** Breathe (2AM)

------

Riku was sitting in his bedroom, perched delicately atop his window sill, his head resting against the cool glass; emotionless, blank, dull eyes staring sightlessly out at the world. It was raining outside. And for a good hour or so Riku stayed in his position by the window; listening to the strangely comforting plinking sounds the rain made on his window.

He shut his eyes tight and tried to will all thought away. Well, that of course, was impossible. But still, all the same he tried.

"Riku, dear," said his mother from the doorway to his room. She sighed when she saw his empty gaze and slumped posture, "You have to get ready to leave now. The funeral's going to be starting soon. Okay?" She watched him, waiting for a response, when none came she sighed before saying, "Okay then. I'll just leave the door closed. But please hurry up and get dressed for the ceremony."

She shut the door behind her quietly as she left the room. Riku waited for a few minutes after she'd left, listening to the sound of her footsteps walking across the hall and down the stairs as she left. Once he could no longer hear her, he quickly hopped off the sill and began pulling black articles of clothing out of his drawers.

Just as he was pulling on his black dress pants over his navy boxers, he heard the distant ringing of his home's phone. He listened for his mother's inevitable rush to get the phone before it stopped ringing. But no sound reached his ears. Nodding to himself, he realized that she must be outside. So he proceeded to walk out of his room, clad only in his pants.

"Hello?" he asked soon after he'd picked up the phone.

"Hey."

It was Axel. Riku felt a smile tugging on his lips.

"Oh, hello," he said, trying his best not to sound quite as miserable as he felt, "what's going on?"

"I heard from Olette that the funeral's today," said Axel, it sounded like he couldn't decide if he should sound casual or sympathetic. Riku bit his lip, hearing Axel talk about the funeral made it sound so much more real.

"Yeah, it is," replied Riku, cringing when his voice cracked, he sniffed a few times and wiped his quickly reddening eyes fiercely, even though they weren't wet. Yet.

"Are you going to be okay?" asked Axel, once again it seemed like he couldn't tell if it was best for him to come across as concerned or if he should just not make a big deal of it.

Riku thought over his answer for a long time. Finally he decided on an honest answer.

"I don't know. I really don't. I-…" he sniffed again, he could practically feel the heat rising in his nose.

"It's going to be okay Riku," said Axel, this time his voice was 100 comforting, "You know that right? Things will work out, you'll see."

"I hope so," said Riku not even bothering to try to stop the tears that were now falling freely, he lifted his head and tried his best to sound at least a little cheerful when he spoke his next words, "What are you doing today?"

"Actually I was wondering if you needed a ride to the funeral," said Axel. Riku smiled, _God, Axel always tries so hard to help…_

"No thanks," said Riku, shaking his head a little, "my mom's gonna be dropping me off there. I should go now, I've still gotta get dressed."

"Oh, alright then," said Axel, not managing to hide the small disappointment in his voice, "I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," said Riku, he sighed, "Yeah… Well, bye."

"See ya later."

Riku paused a moment before replacing the phone in its receiver. Then he quickly set to work with getting ready for the funeral.

------

Namine looked herself up and down in the mirror. Wearily, she straightened up her black, silky shirt and patted down the wrinkles in her black skirt. Namine never had liked the color black very much. It always reminded her of dark things. And Namine was troubled enough without the reminders.

Finally, after deciding her outfit was okay, she ran a brush through her hair a few times, threw part of it over her shoulder as she always did, and headed out the door.

Denzel's funeral was being held at a funeral home that wasn't too far from where Namine lived, so the blonde had decided to walk to the ceremony. However, when she stepped out of her house's back door she felt a strange tingling sensation on her head.

"Oh no," she moaned, tilting her head back to glare at the sky through her blue orbed eyes. Yes indeed, it seemed some higher force had a grudge against her for it was raining. Not too heavily but still enough to make walking a terrible affair.

Pushing already damp bangs out of her face, she quickly stepped inside to get an umbrella. Afterwards she stepped out into the open (if not damp) fresh air and began making her way to the funeral.

As she walked at a steady pace, the world seemed to be speeding past her a little bit. It was unnerving really. Lately, it had seemed like Namine had set herself on auto-pilot. She went through her daily routines in a daze, not really taking too much notice as to what she was doing.

They say that monumental things (like the death of a loved one) take time to fully sink in, to really click. Well, as Namine rounded the street corner, about halfway through her journey… It clicked.

And so it was that Namine found herself leaning against the brick wall of a foreign building, a hand to her face as she cried and sobbed. She struggled to take in air as she breathed in ragged gasp through strangled cries of utter sadness.

Now it also so happened that the street corner Namine had stopped on was right across the way from a public park. And after the several minutes it took Namine to gather up some composure, she looked across the street. And then, following her instinct, she crossed the street and entered the park. She stood at the beginning of the green, secluded, tranquil area and looked around. And she saw…

…Two boys, possibly brothers, chasing a brown, shaggy dog in loopy circles as their parents watched them from afar; smiling fondly…

…A couple of young ladies reading a bunch of tabloid-esque magazines and giggling at some picture of some person, no doubt famous…

…A teenage boy and girl standing near a set of trees… Just standing there and holding each other…

…A group of friends on the swing set. Most of them were standing on the seat of the swings and talking and joking and laughing loudly…

…A mother pushing her son on the baby swings…

…Kids running all over the playground equipment; all varying ages…

…People. Lots of people. Happy people. Smiling people. Laughing people. And just people in general. And as Namine's eyes took in the scene of the park warmly, she felt a small smile creeping up the side of her face before taking hold of her lips.

_These people, _she thought, happiness filling her up like a helium balloon, _I'll bet almost all of them have been through something terrible at least once in their lives… And yet here they are. Still living._

She smiled a pure smile through her shimmering tears. Slowly, she shut her eyes and inhaled deeply, spreading her arms out wide as if attempting to hug the sky.

And then again, maybe she was.

------

Riku took in the sight in front of him solemnly.

It was a funeral home.

Eventually, as if being driven by some higher force, Riku's feet carried him through those imposing front doors and immediately the sight of a crowd of people met his eyes. Some were crying, some were offering bittersweet smiles, some were just standing there, looking lost… Riku dipped his head and averted his gaze.

_What am I doing here? I can't handle this…_

And just as he was about to turn around and leave, he found himself pressed up against an enormous bosom. _Tifa._

"Oh Riku," murmured Tifa, her rich brown locks falling over Riku as he stood there; not bothering to hug back but also not bothering to break away, "I'm so glad you could come…" she whispered, pulling back she held him at arm's length by the shoulders. Evaluating his appearance she smiled minutely and asked, "How are you doing?"

Somehow, it didn't seem right to deny Tifa a real answer. It was her adopted son's funeral after all. Riku sighed, tilted his head ever so slightly and allowed his bangs to fall in his face.

"I think I'm doing… okay," he said finally, keeping his voice as steady as was possible. Tifa nodded understandingly, "What about you?" he went on.

Tifa nodded in recognition of his question, this movement seemed to shake some of the unshed tears out of her eyes, and the pristine orbs fell to the ground singularly, making soft _"plop!"_ noises. She blinked the water out of her eyes a few times; the smile plastered on her face trembled as if giving way to some strong wave of emotion.

"I'll…" she stopped to let in a shaky breath, her voice making a throaty noise as she inhales, "I'll be fine."

"Okay," said Riku, voice straining. It was like he was using his voice like rubber, stretching it over all the sadness to try and keep it all in. But it didn't last very long, and soon Tifa and Riku were hugging each other and crying profusely.

That was when Cloud came over to the pair; putting an arm around the distraught Tifa he gave Riku a strong, one-armed hug. Riku sniffled pathetically.

"H- Hello Mr. Strife," said Riku in an ever-wavering voice, his whole frame trembled along with the rhythm and pitch of his voice. Cloud nodded at the teen, it seemed the man had lost his ability to even fake a smile.

"Namine's in there," said Cloud, nodding his head in the direction of the main room. Riku nodded appreciatively and began making his way slowly to the room.

When he finally reached the entrance he stopped. And breathed in. The sight of that closed casket at the far end of the room, surrounded by flowers… Knowing that Denzel's mutilated body was lying in it…

_In… Out… In… Out… That's it… Keep breathing… You can do this…_

After what could easily be mistaken for an eternity Riku somehow managed to make his leg move forward; his steps were jerky and his feet shook violently as they touched down on the floor.

Riku stopped walking about five feet away from the casket and stared. Namine was kneeling in front of the casket; hands clasped, head bent so that her bangs obscured her face. From what Riku could see of her face though, it seemed like her eyes were peacefully closed.

He took a few more steps closer, and then Riku too closed his eyes and listened to the words Namine was whispering under her breath. The blonde seemed unaware of his presence,

"Hi Denzel," said Namine, voice wobbly and uneven but still persistent and firm, it seemed she had just started talking, "I don't… Really believe in God all that much… Well I do and I don't. But still… I'm not praying to him right now… I'm praying to you okay? Because even if He's not real… I _know_ you are…" Riku smiled slightly at her word choice, "I… I just want you to know…" Riku held his breath, "that I'm okay. I'm fine. I miss you terribly… But I'm doing good. I think I'll manage to move along.

"So please don't worry about me," here Namine paused and took a deep breath before continueing, "And don't worry about Riku… If I have to, I'll look out for him for you," Riku's smile saddened, "Thank you for everything Denzel. You're still one of my very best friends, you know. Me and Riku'll never forget you… Okay?" Here Namine's voice shook more than ever and yet still she remained composed. Namine remained there for a moment in silence, and then she stood up and brushed the dirt off her skirt.

"Oh, Riku," she looked up and spotted them, she hesitated; possibly wondering if he'd heard what she'd said, "I'm glad you could make it," she finally managed.

"Yeah, me too," said Riku, not even bothering to conceal the after effects of his crying from Namine. For a moment they simply stood there, each taking in the other's appearance. And then the next, they were hugging each other.

It was a sort of a "proof of existence".

Proof that that twisted reality was, in fact, happening right then and there.

------

Riku fidgeted in his seat all throughout the ceremony. He wished he could sit still and be respectful. But then he also wished he could just leave. Just run far, far away from this whole scene. Just leave it all behind.

But he couldn't so he didn't. Instead he just sat there, feeling trapped as the walls closed in around him and the reality of the situation came crashing down around him; begging him to accept it.

It all seemed so surreal. So very undefined. There were other people there too of course. Lots of people. People that clearly knew Denzel very well… And people who didn't.

After a lot of speeches and songs and preachings, at long last… Tifa Strife stepped up to the stage. Riku felt his entire body seize up as the kind-hearted woman prepared to speak, steadying her grief stricken form against the podium.

"Denzel was…" She began, and that was when Riku stopped listening.

_Was,_ Riku thought to himself, _She said 'was'. Past tense. Oh God… Oh my God…_

Riku listened to the rest of her speech in a maelstrom of emotion. He wanted to cry, run, and scream so, so much. The urge to scream was ripping through his body, the unshed howls of anguish aching to rush out of his mouth and run all over his vocal cords.

And then, right when Riku was reaching his breaking point, Namine stepped on stage. And through his storm of emotions, Riku still managed to sort out her words.

Namine's voice seemed to have a semi-soothing effect on Riku. And he sat there throughout her speech, listening intently and drinking in her words like a starved man. Finally Namine reached the end of her speech.

"Denzel was and still is one of the most important people in my life," said Namine, in an almost hushed voice, "He was always there for me, and I know that even now he will always continue to be there for me…"

The room was quiet as Namine closed her eyes before letting her last phrase slip through her pale, pink lips:

"_We'll meet again,_

_Don't know where,_

_Don't know when,_

_But I know we'll meet again,_

_Some sunny day."_

------

**Author's Note:** This chapter was actually fairly short compared to most of my other ones… But I felt this was the place to end it. And it felt right to have the entire chapter focused entirely on the funeral. The fitting thing to do, y'know? Anyways the quote at the end is one I've been meaning to use in a fanfic for quite a while. CraziiJaney has also used it in one of hers.

Speaking of CraziiJaney, I just finished co-authoring a story with her. It'll be posted under her account. Just now I sent the completed pilot chapter to her for editing. Hen she'll add or delete what she sees fit… And hopefully it'll be posted under her account by the end of today. We haven't decided on a title yet… But when we do I'll let you guys know so you can check it out 'kay?

Also, I just graduated like three nights ago. So now I've been crying a lot lately. I don't know… It's sad; I'm going to miss my grade (we were tight!) and my school… Oh well… I guess it's about time I graduated into high school like the rest of you, yeah? Heh heh… I told you all I was young!

Also, I just noticed the consistency mistake I made with Tifa. I'm so sorry! Just… Try and forget it… I feel like an idiot, that was a big error!!!

Anyways, this is a pretty important chapter, emotionally. So please review and tell me what you all think okay?

bliss


	12. Future

**Pre-Author's Note:** I'm trying people. I'm trying.

**Disclaimer:** I've never fully appreciated just how far away Korea is from here until now… -sighs-

**Song:** My Immortal

------

Larxene sighed, morosely picking at one of her blonde antennas. She looked at Axel, lower lip jutting out. Axel, upon catching her eye, sighed wearily.

"What is it now, Larxene?" he asked exasperatedly.

"You're so boring," she whined bluntly, she leaned forward on his bed, resting her chin in her hands; which were propped up on her knees, "What happened? Does it have something to do with that Riku kid?"

Axel's head shout up, he stared at her, "How'd you find out about that?"

"What? Your relationship with him?" Asked Larxene, "I make it my business to know what's going on in my friends' lives, Axel," she looked at him, as though he were some sort of mildly amusing exhibit in a museum, "did you seriously think you could keep it from me?"

Axel shrugged, "Well I hoped you would've learned to nose out of other people's business by now, but I guess not… But seriously, did Demyx tell you? How'd you find out?"

Larxene rolled her eyes, and pursed her lips in what she no doubt assumed was an innocent look, "Honestly?" she asked coyly, "I looked through your phone while you were in the latrine," when Axel continued to look blank she scoffed, "the bathroom, Axel, the bathroom. My God, you should've continued with literature Axel, your vocabulary is so small…" She smirked, "I'll bet even Riku's got a wider word span than you. He is in high school; you remember how grueling high school vocab is right?"

Axel frowned, "So you looked through my phone…?"

"And found his name on your speed dial list," concluded Larxene, finishing for him, "I remembered him from the mall. I can put two and two together, Axel."

Axel, still looking a little disgruntled, said, "Well you're right, I'm a little worried about Riku, one of his best friends died a while ago… It was that teen who got killed in a DUI. You know, that incident that was all over the news?"

Larxene raised his eyebrows, "_That_ kid? Riku knew _that_ kid? For real? Wow."

Axel nodded, "He and I were there when it happened."

"What?" asked Larxene, obviously intrigued by this morsel of information, she leaned forward even further still and batted her long lashes at Axel, "You were there? Seriously? At that big park downtown? I saw that thing on the news… It was an awful bloody mess…" She grinned cattily.

Axel just gave her a disapproving look, "You don't have to look so happy about it…" he muttered. Larxene rolled her eyes very prettily and scooted off the red head's bed.

"Well _sor-ry_," she mocked, running one hand along Axel's jaw line, "I didn't mean to 'nose in your business'." She smirked again, lips stretching thinly over her face; eyes alight with mirth.

Axel pushed her hand out of his face irritably, "Whatever, Larx," he said bitterly, "Whatever."

"Aw, did I upset you?" cooed Larxene.

Now it was Axel's turn to roll his eyes, "Would you really care if you did?"

It took all of an instant for Larxene to reply, "No."

Axel raised his eyebrows. Well at least she was honest.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he usually did, "Anyways," he shook his head, clearing it of all muddled thoughts, "I've got to get going…"

"Why?" asked Larxene keenly, "You got a date or something? Hm?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do," said Axel, he raised one eyebrow, "Jealous much?"

Larxene rolled her eyes, "Hardly. I've got a boyfriend thank you very much."

"Oh yeah, that Setzer guy? How's it going with him?"

"No, not Setzer," Larxene rolled her eyes, "I dumped Setzer months ago… I'm dating that Seifer dude now."

"Larxene you whore."

"I think I take offense to that."

Axel shook his head, "It's your life, Larx, just don't get pregnant, okay?"

"Right, right, I'll be good Axel," she grinned mischievously, "you be good too. I don't want any news of Riku getting an STD."

"Dully noted."

"Mm-kay, well let's get going then... I should be leaving anyway."

------

"What are you doing here?"

Namine looked up, upon seeing who it was she straightened up, flattening down the wrinkles that had formed in her skirt when she'd been crouching down.

"Hi, Marlene," said Namine, offering the brown haired bulimic a small smile, "here to see Denzel?"

"Yes," said Marlene, nodding slowly, her eyes ran over the plain slab of stone that had Denzel's name engraved in it, "I-… I just wish…"

Namine's smile fell and she walked over to Marlene, wrapping the frail girl in a hug. The two girls stood there on the grave site for some time in that position, and though Namine's lower lip trembled and Marlene's shoulders shook neither one shed a single tear. Each having both promised themselves at one point or another that they were done crying over Denzel.

"I'm sorry you couldn't make it to the funeral," said Namine, pulling back and holding Marlene at arm's length. Marlene attempted a smile. It came out fractured and broken.

"I guess I can't blame the psychiatrists for keeping me in the dorm rooms for a few days, when I heard about-… about the accident on the news I had a little breakdown…" Marlene looked at the floor, looking almost ashamed.

"It doesn't matter if you were there for the funeral or not," said Namine firmly, "what matters is that you're here now."

Marlene looked up, momentarily startled, "Yeah," she said quietly, then louder, "yeah, you're right."

"What's wrong?" asked Namine, noting a hint of regret hiding behind Marlene's soft gold eyes. Marlene shook her head; hazel bangs swishing against her forehead.

"Namine, you're doing so well," she said, smiling sweetly, "I wish I could say I was doing as well as you but-…" She cut off abruptly, looking at her feet.

Namine just smiled, "You think I'm doing well? So do I," she frowned at Marlene thoughtfully, "but you know," she added, looking at the brunette pointedly, "we'll all get better eventually. You'll see, just wait. And keep trying," Namine smiled again, "That's all you can do in the end. Keep trying and hope for the best. Things will work out. They have a way of doing that on their own."

"I guess," said Marlene quietly, she scuffed a foot against the grass, smiling she added softly, "I should get going… What about you? Going anywhere today?"

Namine shook her head, "No, I just…" she spread her arms out, shrugging in a semi-perky manner, "I kinda felt like walking around town for a while. Y'know, sorting through my emotions and getting all cathartic… Care to join me?"

Marlene hesitated, looking from her shoes to Namine's open smile, "Okay," she conceded, "that does sound nice."

"Great, let's go."

------

Riku sighed; his posture folding as he slumped forward, a loud musical mess met his ears as he plopped his head down on the keys of the piano his family kept in their living room. He was tired. In all honesty it scared him a little.

After Sho, Ven and Terra… Well… He had been… The only word for it was unstable. He was prone to suddenly crying completely out of nowhere and he just felt so conflicted.

But now, after Denzel, he was just tired. Worn out. Exhausted. Weary.

And for whatever reason, that simple exhaustion he found more worrisome than the hysteria he had felt after his family's death. He assumed he was worried because he just knew he should've been feeling _something_. After all, Denzel was _dead_. And yet there he was, unable to feel a thing, the storm of emotions having fled shortly after the funeral.

The doorbell rang, shaking Riku out of his dark musings and worries, sighing he slowly picked himself off the bench in front of the piano, and dragged himself to the door to answer whoever was summoning him.

"Hey."

Riku looked up from the welcome mat to meet eyes a pleasant shade of green.

"Oh. Axel."

The grin slid off Axel's face like sludge. He blinked at Riku's less than joyous expression.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

Riku shrugged, "As 'alright' as I can be… I guess."

"I see," Axel scratched the back of his neck, "Well I guess that's the most we can hope for huh?"

Riku smiled, "Yeah."

"So," began Axel as he stepped into the house, stepping out of his shoes and shrugging off his jacket, it was chilly outside, considering it was early spring, "what're you doing?"

Riku made a jerky movement with his shoulders that was no doubt supposed to come across as noncommittal, "Piano," he said simply, pointing over to the instrument over in the corner of his family's living room. Axel's mouth formed an "O" and he quickly shortened the distance between himself and the large instrument.

"Wow," he whispered, running his fingers across the smooth, dark wood surface, he let out a breath, "this is a beautiful piano." He turned to Riku grinning broadly.

Riku looked slightly taken aback at Axel's enthusiasm, he's never pinned the red head as the piano-liking-type, "It's been in the family for a while."

"You never told me you played piano."

"You never asked."

Axel smirked, "Hm, you're right… You know it's surprising, but I really don't know that much about you do I?"

Riku shrugged and headed into the kitchen where he began pouring two more than generous glasses of what Axel could only assume was ice tea, "Neither of us really knows that much about the other really," he commented quietly.

"That's true," said Axel, nodding wisely as he picked at some of the sheet music littered across the top of the piano, "Whadya say we get to know each other?"

"Um, okay," Riku nodded a little as he handed Axel a glass of ice tea and sat himself down on the lavishly plush couch, sinking back in the cushions he asked, "What do you want to know?"

Axel took Riku's posture and expression in, carefully analyzing the teen's emotions, "What are you planning to do in the future?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Riku, he looked a little uneasy.

Axel pursed his lips before continueing, "I mean… Riku I already told you that I know about rehab," said Axel slowly, gauging Riku's reactions, "and Olette told me about… about your family."

Riku flinched, keeping his gaze downcast he asked, "She told you everything?"

"Everything," said Axel, nodding.

"Oh."

Axel studied Riku's countenance, "Are you mad?"  
Riku shook his head furtively, "No, no," he said quickly, "just… I don't know," he inhaled sharply and turned his gaze to the ceiling, "I kinda didn't want you to know…"

"I would've had to find out eventually."

"I know," said Riku, looking at the glass of tea cradled in his hands on his lap, "but it's just… I was worried… About-… About how you would react… what you would think…If you would leave me…"

"Well, I'm not leaving you," said Axel, smiling widely, "so you can lose all thoughts about escape cause you're stuck with me."

Riku allowed himself a small smile at that.

"And besides, why would I leave you because of that?" asked Axel as though the very idea was ludicrous at best, "I mean, so what? Bad shit happens; it's what makes us the people we are. By the way," he said, lifting one page of sheet music up to the light, "this looks had written…" he glanced at Riku suspiciously, "Did you write this?"

Riku nodded.

"Whoa," breathed Axel, examining the music, "this looks… Well I'm not that good with music so I guess I'm not the person to ask but this looks fantastic. Definetly complicated enough anyways… You've got a real talent, Riku."

Riku looked at Axel.

"Thanks," he said.

Axel grinned, "It's what I'm here for," he said, giving Riku a two fingered salute, "Anyways, back to my question, what are you planning to do in the future?"

Riku shifted, "You mean like a job or career?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Axel, he got off the piano bench to join Riku on the couch, "any ideas? Plans?" He flicked a hand lazily.

Riku shook his head, "Not really," he admitted, "ever since my family-… Well, I never really thought about my future too much. I guess at this point I-… I just want to make it through high school." He looked at Axel, his eyes looking slightly wet.

"But I don't know if I'll even be able to do that," said Riku, hanging his head, "it's only been a few weeks or so since you helped me catch up on my work and already I'm really behind again."

Axel, to Riku's great amazement, smiled, "Well I think making it through high school is a good plan for you. I mean who knows right? Maybe you'll even go to college one day."

"C- College?" It was obvious Riku had never thought that far ahead.

Axel shrugged, "Just saying, it's a possibility, and anyways it's not like you're going to live with your parents for forever right?"

Riku stopped to consider this, "I guess…"

"Right," said Axel, "all I'm saying is you do have a future Riku. It's out there."

"Well what about you?" asked Riku looking up at Axel, "You're in college now right? What are you going to do once you graduate then?"

"Cook."

Riku blinked.

"What?"

"I'm going to be a cook," said Axel, grinning at the stunned look on Riku's face, "that's what I'm studying, y'know, _culinary arts_, or whatever you want to call it."

Riku thought it over for a moment; quite frankly the idea of Axel behind a stove was frightening.

"Really?" he asked.

"What, you don't think I can cook?" asked Axel with raised brows.

"No, it's not that it's just…" Riku hastened to come up with an excuse, "I… You-… I can't believe someone would trust you to use a stove professionally."

Axel, in pseudo-hurt, put a hand over his heart, "Your faith in me is touching, Riku, really," he fake tittered, "but all joking aside," he said, passing a hand over his forehead as if to brush away the humor, "that's what I plan on doing when I graduate this year."

Riku looked up quickly, clearly startled by this news, "This year?" he exclaimed, eyes going wide, "You're graduation is _this __year_?" Axel didn't look surprised at Riku's outburst.

"Yeah," he said carefully, "but don't worry, I'll probably stick around afterwards… Get my own apartment in the city, maybe work at some local diner… Eh. I don't know, but I won't go too far. You'll still be able to see me."

Riku looked rather unsure of this fact, "Promise?" he asked quietly, "Promise you'll stay near me?"

Axel stared at him.

"I promise," he spoke firmly, and then he looked over at a clock hanging on the nearby wall.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed, standing quickly, "Is it really that late? Come on Riku, we'll be late for the movie!"

He grabbed Riku by his forearm and began insistently tugging the silver haired teen in the direction of the front door. Riku smiled and quickly stepped forward, allowing himself to be tugged along.

Reaching the front steps, Riku shivered, pulling his jacket tighter around him, the left over frost from winter biting into him and sneaking up his sleeves. Axel let out a breath; it came out slightly foggy on the clear night.

It was true what Axel had said, Riku did have a future. The thing was he just never really thought about it that much. Nor did his parents for that matter. After all, in Riku's condition and state mostly people just worried about when Riku's next emotional collapse would be, whether he would make it through the day… They never even bothered to consider the fact that someday Riku would be out of high school, that he would have a job. Or maybe even get his own life?

It was a possibility.

The more Riku thought about it, the more excited he got. It was like someone had opened up a whole new book for him that he hadn't even been aware of. Thinking about it, he realized that it was about time to start talking to his parents. Making plans and back up plans, thinking things through…

Axel looked at Riku and smiled, "You ready?"

Riku smiled back, "Yeah."

Yeah.

**Author's Note:** OMG, FLUFF! Oh no!

Heh. Well I'm sorry about the wait but as many, many of you already know I'm going through a rough time right now and not only is it affecting the amount of time I have to get on the computer to type, it's also damaging my writing… Ugh.

On a much more cheerful note: I don't have cancer! WHEE! Ftw! Some of you might remember me mentioning a minor operation I underwent a while ago. Well basically they had to take some stuff out of me and have it tested for cancer. The results are in and…

I DON'T HAVE CANCER!

Also, this was kind of a filler chapter. Basically I'm setting the stage for the next one.

bliss


	13. Again

**Pre-Author's Note:** Alright, it's been exactly two days since I posted the last chapter. And already I'm getting started on this one. Odd. I don't think I've ever tried _this_ hard to update so soon. Hm… But the thing is, those of you who have read the new section of my _**new bio**_ know that I've got other multi-chaps to get up. My goal was to finish _Ignorance is Bliss_ by the end of the summer, and while it's highly likely I won't do that (damn my laziness), I'm sure as hell gonna try and give it my all.

Also, the eleventh chapter got over twenty reviews alone! That's the best I've ever done whether for just a chapter or a one-shot. In any case, what I'm trying to say is thank you. Especially those of you who have been sticking around since the first chapter was posted.

Love you all!

**Disclaimer:** Ooh… Korea… Would it be possible for me to bike there? I could hitchhike… Hm…

**Song:** Fall to Pieces (Yes, yes, I know… How could I sink so low right? It's the only song I could think of okay?!)

------

"Hey… Kairi?"

Kairi looked up from her math book, staring at Sora curiously. The two of them were doing their homework together at Kairi's house. The TV was on in the background, they had turned the volume down low so as to use the show as "white noise".

"Yeah?" she asked.

Sora hesitated before going on, "Well… It's just… Riku hasn't been hanging out with us that much lately has he?" Kairi took in Sora's heavy expression, the pout that was clearly marring his features…

"I guess not," she said, forcing her voice to sound brisk and indifferent, "I suppose he's been with Axel…?"

"Yeah," said Sora nodding slowly, "and his friends from rehab. Y'know, that girl Namine or whatever…"

"Mm," said Kairi, not looking up from her calculations, she really needed to concentrate… Math was _hard_.

"I kinda miss having him around," said Sora looking thoroughly morose now. Kairi sighed and let her text book slide out of her fingers and slip onto the table she was working on, she turned to face Sora.

"I do too," she admitted.

Sora nodded and sighed as well, "Wonder what he's doing right now…"

------

It had been a good day, Riku decided as he made his way back to his house. He and Axel had gone to the movies while his parents were out for the night. It had been fun. Just a normal night out at the movies... Well of course, Axel had gotten into an argument with the woman behind the counter about their popcorn. Apparently he didn't think she'd put enough butter on it or something along those lines…

After the movie had ended, Axel had offered to drive Riku home, only to have the silver haired teen decline the offer. After all, it was a nice night, the sky was unusually clear and while it was a bit chilly outside it wasn't unpleasant. Riku rather liked the way the fresh, crisp air of early spring seemed to refresh his mind, wiping it out of the daze that was leftover from sitting in a dark movie room for so long.

So intent was Riku on the route home and his own pleasant musings, he didn't notice the hand that was stretching out of an alleyway until that hand had grabbed him by the front of his jacket and yanked him into the dark, grimy stretch of cement, garbage and brick walls on either side.

------

"I'll get it! I'll get it!" cried Demyx exuberantly as he raced through his house towards the phone. The phone was seated on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. Demyx's roommate, Seifer, chuckled warmly as the sitar player bounded into the room.

The blonde man leapt into the air and landed on the couch while picking up the phone all in one fluid movement. Demyx pressed the talk button.

"Yellow!" he exclaimed as soon as he heard the phone lick into life. There was a pause, then…

"Have you been a good boy?"

Demyx's mouth fell open, and he nearly dropped the phone out of shock. No wait. Scratch that. He did drop the phone. Seifer peeked into the living room from his position in the kitchen, looking curiously as Demyx's agog face.

"Something wrong?" asked Seifer, narrowing his eyes at Demyx who had, aside from dropping the phone, toppled off the couch as well. Demyx, still wide-eyed and gaping, shook his head at Seifer before picking up the phone again.

"H-Hello?" he asked, uncertainly. _Maybe I mistook the voice…_

"Hey. Everything alright? I heard a banging noise," came the unmistakable voice of Xigbar.

Demyx could practically hear the smirk in the older man's voice.

"Uh, that was me- er… Dropping the phone," Demyx winced at how lame he sounded. He needed to sound cool! Suave! Like- Like part of Xigbar's crew! Crew?! Oh God! Demyx wailed internally at how completely and totally not cool he sounded. But there was no helping it, he couldn't believe the ebony haired man had called him. Him! Demyx! Xigbar had called Demyx!

"Nice man, nice," Xigbar's dry reply sent shiver tingling along Demyx's spine. He shuddered at Xigbar's awe inducing coolness.

"Uh, anyway, why are you calling me?" asked Demyx, trying to recover his vocabulary (he had lost it as soon as he'd heard Xigbar's voice).

"Well we didn't exchange numbers for nothin'," said Xigbar easily.

Demyx gulped, "Oh, r- right well… So, you want um…? Anything I can do then? I- I mean y'know, since, you're calling is there like, any particular reason?"

"Yeah," said Xigbar, cutting through Demyx's flow of stutters, "I was thinking you and I should see a movie and grab some lunch."

"Oh, okay," said Demyx, trying to slow his rapid heartbeat, "when?"

"I was kinda thinking now," said Xigbar offhandedly.

"What? You mean like now-now?!"

"Well yeah, that's kinda what 'now' means…"

"Oh well then…" Demyx looked at his pile of school work he still needed to get through uneasily…

"If you're not free than that's fine too, I mean hey I'll just-

"No I can go!" said Demyx, and once the words left his mouth he felt absolutely no regret. He could always do his homework later, "Uh so should I…?"

"Y'know that big, outdoor mall that has those two theaters in it?" asked Xigbar.

"Uh, yeah…"

"Yeah, meet me outside the theater that's by the big burger joint alright?" asked Xigbar, running the words off his mouth in rapid succession.

"Sure!" said Demyx eagerly. Nodding his head.

"Great, see you soon." Xigbar hung up his phone, just as Demyx was putting his phone back in its receiver.

"What's up?" asked Seifer, noting his roommate's feverish expression.

Demyx looked up at Seifer, taking deep breaths; finally, after counting down from ten in his head, he let out the most unbelievably girlish scream Seifer had ever heard the blonde man let loose. Continueing to whoop with glee Demyx ran straight into his room of their apartment, collapsing on his bed. Screaming all the way.

------

After the initial shock of what was happening wore off, the first thing Riku felt was a piece of clothe wrapping around his mouth; gagging him, silencing him. After that he felt his head smash against the dingy brick wall of the alley as he was slammed against it. Stars exploded in his line of vision as a considerable amount of pain shot through his body on impact.

The man was tall, with silver hair, slightly bluer than Riku's, which spilled down his back. His eyes were a light brown, but in the darkness of the alleyway they seemed to almost glow orange. A feral smirk was painted across his tanned and angled face.

Rough callused hands roamed around at a leisurely pace under Riku's shirt, and it wasn't long until Riku felt his jacket being unzipped and his shirt was tugged over his head to join his black jacket on the dirtied ground. After that, things started speeding up; his belt joined both shirt and jacket on the floor. And jeans and boxers were wrenched downward so that they pooled around Riku's ankles; despite his muffled protests and weak resistance.

The man kept one hand firmly wrapped around Riku's thin, pale neck as he used the other hand to undo the zipper on his own pants. A sense of overwhelming dread filled Riku, but he didn't dare struggle for fear of the grip that was assaulting his neck.

Once the man had stepped out of his pants and bowers, Riku's eyes widened. The man before him… He was huge. There was no way he would… Riku's head was swimming; fear, nausea, panic, misery and pain all whirling through his cranium so quickly he couldn't even fully wrap his mind around the situation he was in.

Before Riku could even brace himself, he was roughly turned around; the sudden lack of pressure around his neck causing him to gasp. Next thing he was aware of, one of those large meaty hands had pinned both of his smaller ones up over his head; the large fingers easily wrapping around both of Riku's thin wrists. As this was going on, the man's other hand had come around Riku's back, wrapping tightly Riku's cock; shooting up and down Riku's being, trying to receive some sort of response from the smaller one.

And then quite suddenly, the presence of the older man's hand on him was gone, and that was the only warning Riku got before he was violated in one of the cruelest ways possible.

He bucked as the large male thrust into him repeatedly. He tried to scream, tried to cry, tried to struggle and perhaps put up a stronger resistance. But he couldn't. He just couldn't. Somewhere throughout the whole thing, his mind seemed to have shut down and all he could do was watch, as if from a television screen, as he went through the same thing he'd gone through two years ago.

The continued thrusting went on for a while until at long last the older of the two ceased his actions and relinquished his death grip on Riku's hands. As soon as his grip was gone Riku's arms fell limply to his side and his legs gave out from under him.

But the man wasn't done yet, Riku heard, as if from far away, the flicking of a blade (possibly a small pocket knife). Following the sound up, Riku felt a cold, metallic touch somewhere on his lower back, and then he felt absolutely nothing but pain as the metal blade dug into his back.

Riku screamed, but no loud or distinguishable sound made its way passed the gag, so instead Riku was trapped there, screaming silently, mouth open so wide that saliva was leaking into the rag that was stuffed in his mouth. Through the blaring spasms of pain it became clear that the man was etching some sort of symbol into Riku's flesh.

After a minute or so the blade was pulled out of his back and Riku was once again turned around. The gag was pulled out of his mouth sharply, but only to be replaced by the man kneeling above Riku's crumpled form. Riku gagged, choked and spluttered; the man was much too big, Riku was choking, only distantly aware of something seeping into his mouth…

And then it was over, there was a final thrust into Riku's throat and the man left. He just gathered up his clothes and left. Leaving Riku behind…

Riku honestly had no idea how long he lay there, surrounded in a pool of blood and seed leftover from the man's final climax. All he knew was that while he lay there he felt no motivation to move from his place whatsoever. An empty, dead and hollow haze had filled his brain as soon as he'd heard the man's footsteps echoing down the alleyway.

He was only dimly aware of the blood seeping out from between his legs, and the thin line of saliva and come trailing from his slightly agape mouth. And so it was he barely heard the woman who screamed upon spotting him, the sound of police cars and an ambulance arriving or the reassurances from the medics that he would be alright, and that they were going to fix him right up… That everything was going to be okay and that they weren't going to hurt him…

------

It was only just after Kairi had finished her vocab homework that she received the phone call. Sora, who was still struggling through his own vocabulary homework watched his crimson haired friend as he got up and made her way to her house's phone. There was no point in him trying to do his homework without Kairi's help.

Sighing, he looked down at his work book, trying to wrap his mind around the foreign concepts. He was broken out of his melancholy thoughts on the horrors of spelling by a scream that echoed through Kairi's living room, kitchen and dining room.

Sora rushed into Kairi's living room, only to see the red head hunched over, both hands cradling the phone against her face. The brunette boy couldn't explain the feeling of dread that filled him at that exact moment. But when Kairi hung up the phone and turned to look at him with hollow eyes, that dread intensified enormously.

"Kairi?" asked Sora hesitantly, he put a hand on her upper arm; giving it a gentle squeeze.

Kairi continued to stare at him, and then finally she whispered hoarsely, "That was Riku's dad… He was calling to tell us th- that… that…"

"Kairi? What? What is it?" asked Sora, tilting Kairi's face up by the chin and looking her straight in the eyes, "What happened? Is Riku okay?"

"Riku's in the hospital."

Sora stepped away from his red head, looking positively faint, "What?" he asked.

"He- He was… He was raped again," murmured Kairi, the tears already starting to fall from her violet eyes freely. She clasped her hands in front of her tightly, perhaps in a silent prayer, or perhaps just to give her something to do with her hands.

Sora reached out with his hand, finger tips brushing one of the walls, slowly he splayed his fingers out across the wall and used it to steady himself. He wasn't crying, but he did look pale and shaky. His breathing was becoming more and more erratic by the second.

"Does he want us to go to the hospital?" asked Sora shakily.

"Huh?" asked Kairi through her large pearly tears that splashed down her front and splattered across her family's hard wood floor.

"Does Riku's dad want us to go to the hospital?" repeated Sora, more firmly this time. He stood and straightened up as he said the words.

"Oh," said Kairi, her hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt, she nodded once, twice, jerkily, "y-yes, I think he does… He said something about… yes…" She nodded again.

"We should get going then," said Sora, he grabbed Kairi gently by the arm and led her towards her front door; the girl seemed to have lost all sense of direction. When they reached the front door they paused for a moment to step into their shoes and pull on their jackets.

"I'll leave my mom a message on our answering machine," said Kairi shakily as they walked down the street towards a bus stop up ahead, she tried dialing the numbers of her home phone but her fingers were shaking so badly she kept messing up. Finally, after watching Kairi struggle with her phone for a few moments, Sora took the phone from her and punched the numbers in for her.

"Here," he said, handing the phone to her gently.

"Thanks," she said quietly, taking the phone from him. They made a melancholy pair at that moment. While Kairi waited to get her family's answering machine, the bus arrived and the both of them stepped onto the bus. Kairi looked delicate in her pale pink coat and maroon knee-length skirt, and Sora had an unusually grave expression painted on his face as he tugged up the collar of his grey-blue jacket.

"H- Hello? Mom, Dad it's me Kairi. I'm leaving this message because Sora and I are going to the hospital to see Riku he-… He was… I'll be home later okay? Bye." Kairi pressed the end button on the phone and then proceeded to press her cell to her lips. Her shoulders shaking, she tried to control the tears that were threatening to pour out of her.

Sora put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a firm but calming squeeze. The bus wasn't very full that day, which was strange for a Saturday night. Still all the same, as Kairi and Sora rode the bus to the hospital they did their best to conceal their signs of grief from the rest of the pedestrians; not wanting to cause a scene.

------

When Kairi and Sora reached the hospital they were directed to Riku's room by the lady at the front desk. After walking to Riku's room and arriving right out front of the door they instantly spotted Naomi sitting in a chair a few feet away from the door.

Naomi was the psychiatrist Riku saw when he attended the teen rehab center. She had orange red hair done up in a tail, and teal blue eyes, and she was wearing her usual trademark red sweater and mahogany colored pants. She was a nice lady, Riku had always liked her; saying that she was a better psychiatrist than all the others…

Upon spotting Sora and Kairi, Naomi nodded and smiled grimly, she stood and walked over to the two who were standing outside Riku's room. Kairi and Sora had met Naomi on only two other occasions, but they had also liked her; agreeing with Riku in saying that she was clearly much friendlier than the others.

"Sora, Kairi," said Naomi warmly, she gave them both quick hugs before pulling back to look at them both pensively.

"How's he doing?" asked Kairi, cutting straight to business.

Naomi bit her lip, "I haven't seen him yet," she said, "his parents are with him right now. The doctors only just finished bandaging him up. He was cut up pretty badly," she said sadly, sighing, she shook her head before sitting back down in her chair. Patting the two chairs next to her, she said, "You two should sit here. You can talk to him when his parents are done, but for now let's give them a moment."

Nodding, the two teens sat down in the chairs the orange haired woman had indicated. Kairi pulled off her jacket and instantly resumed fiddling with the hem of her light brown shirt. Sora too shrugged off his jacket, then he proceeded to call his parents to let them know where he was.

Minutes passed, a few doctors walked in and out of Riku's room. For a while the three of them sat there in the hallway, watching the people rush passed them to other places in the hospital no doubt. Finally after a significant amount of time passed, Mrs. Ishida stepped out into the hallway followed closely by her husband. Natashi looked grave, Ritsuko looked like she was at a complete and total loss.

"Oh Sora, Kairi," she breathed upon spotting the trio sitting near the door, "I'm glad you could make it."

"How is he?" asked Sora standing up along with Kairi and Naomi, "Is he-

"He's refusing to talk," said Mr. Ishida bluntly, "he won't talk to anyone, not the doctors, not us…"

"Can we…?" asked Kairi, gesturing towards the door to Riku's room. Ritsuko nodded before she and her husband proceeded to start conversing with Naomi.

"Riku?" called Kairi softly as she pried the door open and stepped into the room, Sora followed her lead and shut the door quietly behind him, "Riku it's us, it's Sora and Kairi."

Riku's back was to them, he was curled up on his side under the hospital sheets. Slowly and for whatever reason quietly, Sora and Kairi made their way to the other side of Riku's bed so they could face him. His eyes were perfectly blank and he continued to stare straight ahead, as if he could not see either of them.

Kairi bit her lip, and then slowly with trembling hands she reached forward to brush the other's long bangs out of his face. Riku flinched away from the contact, jerking convulsively. Kairi bit her lip harder. But other than that he gave no sign of recognition towards the two people standing in front of him.

"Riku?" said Sora, kneeling down in front of Riku's bed and propping his head up on his hands, "Riku please, talk to us… We… Please, Riku. Please, we're your best friends. We wants to help, please let us in. Let us talk to you…"

Riku blinked at them with unfocused, unsteady eyes, before taking a shuddering breath and pulling the sheets up over his mouth.

------

"Is he going to be okay, Naomi? Do you think he'll be able to pull out of this?"

Naomi looked back at Mrs. Ishida, looking pained, she shook her head fervently, "It's hard to say," she said, clearly trying to choose her words carefully, "it really is all up to him and whether or not he's still willing to… I'll go check on him once Sora and Kairi are done. But I don't think he'll want to talk to me at the moment."

Mrs. Ishida just nodded at Naomi's statement and looked back at her hands, which were shaking in her lap. Natashi just sighed and slumped back in his chair.

"Where's Resa?" asked Naomi, "You didn't want her to come see her big brother?"

"She's at my sister's house," said Ritsuko wearily, "I'll have my sister bring her over later along with the rest of the family."

Naomi chewed on her lip thoughtfully, somehow she doubted bringing the family over to the hospital was a good idea. Riku really wasn't in the mood for many visitors. However, looking at Mrs. Ishida's face, Naomi didn't think she'd have much luck trying to convince the woman of this fact.

The orange haired woman was snapped out of her reverie by the click of the door to the hospital room opening. She and the Ishidas looked up to see Sora and Kairi enter the hallway.

"He wouldn't talk to us," said Sora spotting the unasked questions lingering on each adult's face, "What now?"

"Well," began Ritsuko, sighing, "my sister should be coming here soon with her kids and Resa. The doctors said Riku will have to stay in the hospital overnight, just so they can make sure none of his cuts got infected and he'll make a full… physical recovery."

Sora and Kairi nodded. Kairi turned to Naomi.

"Are you going to talk to him?" she asked. Naomi paused for a second, considering her next words.

"I'm not sure if it would be a good idea," she said slowly, "he might not want to see anybody who'll remind him of rehab. Because let's face it, he's going to be in for a long ride after this mess clears up. The idea of all that therapy might be… frightening to him. Or at the very least, irritating." Naomi shrugged.

"Well, he might want to talk to you though," said Kairi, "he really likes you. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to any of his personal friends or family."

"I guess," said Naomi, "well it's worth a try," she sighed before heading into Riku's room. Once she was gone, Riku's parents began talking to Kairi, trying to figure out what Riku had been doing on that side of town. Sora remained silent.

He had a hunch as to what Riku had been doing, walking home. He wasn't sure, but he got the feeling he was probably right. In any case, there was something he knew he'd have to do before the night was over. He looked over at Kairi, watching her as she conversed with the Ishidas. He knew she wouldn't be happy about it, but they really needed to call Axel and tell him what happened.

And that was when Riku's aunt chose to arrive. She had red hair like the rest of Riku's family, and was clutching her son and daughter in one hand and held Resa on the other. Sora felt a small pang when he spotted the confused look on Resa's youthful face.

"What's going on? Is he okay?" asked Kyou, Riku's aunt, in a rush as soon as she reached them outside of his door.

"He's stable for now," said Ritsuko, greeting her sister with a hug, "he'll have to spend the night. And in the mean time he's refusing to talk. He's… Naomi, his psychiatrist, is in there talking to him right now…"

And without another word, Mrs. Ishida burst into tears. At that point, Kairi and Sora took the smaller children over to the chairs to distract them while the adults talked.

Eventually, the grown-ups returned to the chairs and the entire group sat in silence for a while. Finally Natashi said, "You know, we-… If he stops talking… I mean… If they're going to…" Natashi shook his head, taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts, "Once he's out of the hospital he'll have to go through a lot of… Therapy. Psychiatry… He has to start talking again. He can't just-…"

Ritsuko nodded at her husband, "I know, but… There's not much we can do…"

"Well he won't talk to me."

Everyone looked up to see Naomi, standing next to them, she looked troubled.

"It could very well be he won't talk for a long time," she continued, "things like this happen sometime, patients stop talking. With plenty of help though he'll get better but for now…" She shook her head, "it's hard to say, if there was… If there was someone here who Riku would open up for…" She sighed, "Ah well. There's nothing we can do for now. Tomorrow he'll get let out and then-… Then we'll make a plan."

"What do you mean 'plan'?" asked Kairi, eyes narrowed.

"Well we need to start thinking of Riku's future," said Mrs. Ishida quietly, "I mean, for God's sakes I-… If he never fully recovers from this… He'll need someone to take care of him, and medical attention…"

"And besides that," said Naomi, looking if anything even more grim, "he very well may not be able to go back to school."

Everyone's heads shot up at that, Sora's jaw dropped, "What?! But he hasn't even finished high school!"

"Some of the psychiatrists from the center, myself included," said Naomi, "will have to talk to the school board, the principal of your high school, there will have to be some debating. If Riku starts talking again and manages to recover quickly enough, then it's possible he'll go back to school.

"But it's not _very_ likely, especially if he can't talk," she continued, "if he started to speak again then we'd be able to run some tests and determine if he's ready for more education. But otherwise…" Her voice trailed off, and the numbing weight of what could happen to their best friend finally seemed to settle on Sora and Kairi's shoulders.

"Kairi," said Sora, looking at her firmly. Almost as if she knew what was coming, Kairi shook her head fretfully.

"No Sora," she said stubbornly, "no, I don't-

"Kairi, we have to call him," said Sora exasperatedly, "look I know you don't like him but… He has a right to know and besides… What if he can get Riku to talk again huh? We're talking about Riku's education here."

"No Sora," said Kairi, shaking her head even more wildly, "no, it won't help. It won't help…"

"Who? What? Call who?" asked Natashi, looking between the two teens. Everyone was staring at Sora and Kairi with similar expressions on their faces.

"Kairi, maybe Axel will be able to-

"No!" said Kairi shrilly, almost shouting.

"Look, you're upset about Riku, I understand that, I'm upset too," said Sora, delicately placing a hand on the red headed girl's arm, "but don't take it out on Axel. Okay? Now calm down, we have to get him over here."

Kairi hesitated for a moment, finally after much deliberation she nodded, "Fine," she said, "fine, call him."

"Call who? Who's 'Axel'?" asked Naomi impatiently, tapping her foot.

Sora and Kairi exchanged significant glances.

Sora took a deep breath before saying, "Axel is Riku's boyfriend."

------

Axel came home from his date with Riku that day, to find both his parents home (that was a surprise, they were always so busy) and Demyx flipping through comic books in his room. Axel raised his eyebrows at the blonde.

"Don't you ever go home?" he asked teasingly.

Demyx flipped on his backside, so that he was staring at Axel upside down from his position on the red head's bed, "But you're house is so much more fun," he whined, "and besides your mom's a great cook. My roommate Seifer can't cook for nuts."

"And neither can you," said Axel folding his arms smugly.

"True that," said Demyx sagely, he grinned before flipping over again and smiling at Axel, "So, where've you been? You look like you're in a good mood."

"Just got back from a date with Riku," said Axel easily, "What about you?" he asked, "You look pretty damn cheerful yourself."

Demyx's grin switched from happy to positively blinding, "I just got back from a date with Xiggy," he said, imitating Axel's easy going voice.

Axel's jaw dropped, he turned to his friend, grinning broadly, "Get out," he said, "the guy you're always stalking?"

Demyx pouted, "I do not _stalk_ him I just-

"-Watch him from behind magazines at the beach so you can stare at him in his swim trunks," said Axel, looking at Demyx victoriously.

"Hmph, have it your way," said Demyx, "So what else has been-

Both men paused when the sound of Axel's cell phone filled the otherwise quiet room. Axel flipped his cell open and stared at the name on the screen.

"Who is it?" asked Demyx.

"I don't know," said Axel, pressing the TALK button, "Hello? How'd you- Kairi?"

"Riku's friend?" asked Demyx confusedly. Axel waved a hand at him to be quiet.

"Yes? Can I help-… What?"

Demyx blinked at Axel, the red head's face had grown unusually pale, "Yeah… Uh-huh… I understand… Yeah, I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and stared at the wall for a full minute. After a while Demyx broke the silence.

"What's going on?" he asked nervously.

Axel turned to Demyx, face unbelievably white.

"Riku's in the hospital."

**Author's Note:** Okay, before all of you start yelling at me about how cliché it was of me to have Riku get raped twice… Let me just say one thing:

If Namiku Masaki can turn Riku into a _suicidal girl_ in her story… If Angel-o-Darkness can turn Riku into a Hello Kitty obsessed _transvestite_ (nothing against her, I love her story, Riku makes a kick ass transvestite)… If Mr. Harlequin can turn Riku into a fucking, enchanted _puppet…_ If SilverYaoiHellion can make Riku _pregnant_… If Rosalyn Angel can make _Ansem_ Riku's _dad_… If Innocent Guilt can make Riku a _whore_… If The Daxinator can put Riku in a skirt and _thong_… If- If-… -sighs- My point is… If they can do all that… -takes a deep breath-

…

_**THEN I SURE AS HELL CAN HAVE RIKU RAPED TWICE IN THE SAME FIC!!!**_

Why is Riku the most abused character in Kingdom Hearts? Because he's fun to torture. I mean really, c'mon people, let's face the truth. It's _fun_ traumatizing Riku. You all know it's true. You prove it each and every day as you write stories in which Riku is damaged beyond repair. You prove it when you squeal when you read a fic in which he's cruelly tortured.

Anyways, sorry for going off on a little rant there and getting all defensive, I don't mean to sound like a brat. Please review people. There was a major plot twist in this chapter.

Also, a few people have mentioned typos and mistakes in this story. To those of you who find the typos annoying, please keep in mind I'm not even in _high school_ yet. I'm not saying I don't look over my work, I do. I always look for typos. Not only that, but I don't have a beta like many of you other writers. It'd be kind of impossible for me to get a beta on this site though considering my lackage of PMage.

REVIEWS!!! LET THERE BE REVIEWS!

bliss

P.s- Whoot! I'm staying up till midnight today to get my copy of Harry Potter! YAY!


	14. Never Stopping

**Pre-Author's Note:** Okay first of all, I'd like to apologize for my little rant I went on in the last chapter. I realized a few days after I posted that I might have actually offended someone. Then I felt bad… So yeah, just in case I hurt someone's feelings… I'm very sorry! I was just worried people would find the plot twist a little… pointless. Or maybe they'd think I was just trying to create more drama because I have no clue where I'm going with this fic or… something.

Anyways, moving on, I do happen to know where I'm going with this fic. I've got it all planned out. :D Mostly. Seriously though, from this point on anything new that gets thrown your way is not pointless. The rest of this story is entirely planned out. And all your questions and hopes will (hopefully) be answered.

**Song:** Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks

**Disclaimer:** -sings- YEAH YEAH! KEEEEP HOOOLDING OON!

------

"Are you telling me," began Mrs. Ishida, her voice trembling and shaking, "that my son is gay?"

Sora hesitated, "Well I-

"I'm not sure if that would be the right word for it," everyone turned their attention to Naomi who was eyeing Kairi and Sora with something that looked like appreciation, "Now I'm not saying I doubt that Riku and this Axel aren't in a relationship," she said, "but I don't think Riku is necessarily gay."

Ritsuko opened her mouth to protest or snap, but Naomi held out a hand to stop her.

"Because I don't think Riku, in his state of mind, views himself as gay or straight or bisexual. At least, that's what I would think," she paused looking thoughtful, "in his situation it's really just a matter of how close or intimate or romantically he feels towards a person," she smiled, "the fact that it's a guy is just a minor detail to him. He doesn't see himself as gay. He just knows that he loves this person in a way that's different from the way he feels about his family and friends."

She smiled pleasantly at Mrs. Ishida who looked like she had something more to say on that matter. Sora and Kairi shifted uneasily. Resa, who was sitting on her aunt's lap, looked confused. Mr. Ishida's expression mirrored his wife's. Naomi, still smiling, turned to Sora and Kairi.

"I'd like to meet this Axel," she said, "he must be a very good person if he managed to get Riku that emotionally open."

"Uh, sure," said Sora, he was staring at Naomi, he'd never heard her talk like that during the few times he'd met her.

"I'll call him," said Kairi resignedly, she flipped open her cell phone and began dialing in the numbers.

"How long has this been going on behind our backs?" asked Natashi, he didn't look necessarily angry, but he was definetly not happy. Sora gulped.

"Well I-… I don't really know, I mean…" he trailed off and tugged on one of his chocolate spikes contemplatively, "they met sometime this school year…"

Kairi rejoined the conversation, stuffing her pink phone in her pocket, "He's on his way," she informed dutifully. A few of them acknowledged her statement, but for the most part they all remained sitting there silently, each one as unsure of what to do as the next.

------

Axel drummed his fingers against the dashboard of his mom's car impatiently as he stared out the window and watched house after house whoosh past the moving car. After getting the call from Kairi he had left Demyx in his room and sped off to the hospital with his mom driving.

"Axel, honey, are you okay?" asked his mother, peering at him worriedly, her hands still on the steering wheel. Axel hummed before glancing up at her.

"Hm? Oh yeah, yeah I'm fine… Fine…" He replied a little too quickly.

His parents had, thankfully, not been too upset to be finding out about Axel's new boyfriend after so long. If anything they'd been more troubled when Axel had reported the situation to them. Axel loved having cool parents. It really paid off at times like these.

As far as Axel's parents were concerned, the red head could date whomever he wanted so long as he didn't get himself involved in some deep shit. Or at least, those had been his mother's choice words.

"Um, do you want me to go in with you?" asked his mom once they had pulled up out front of the hospital Kairi had instructed them to. Axel peered up at the large white, formidable building before answering her.

"No it's alright, I'll call you if I need anything though," he said.

Just before he shut the door his mother called out, "Good luck, Baby!"

He grinned to himself as the door slammed shut and he turned his attention back to the structure in front of him. Really, he loved his parents. He really did.

Slowly he made his way up to the hospital's entrance. In front of the hospital there was a small circular flower garden. No doubt an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. Whatever the case, it certainly failed in bringing any cheer whatsoever to the dismal area. The only way Axel could really describe the hospital and its surrounding grounds was gray. The building's walls (which were no doubt supposed to be a brilliant white that brought hope to the patients they held) were nothing but tall, cold and intimidating. The sky around this area seemed darker than usual; nothing but a dreary stretch of graying clouds.

The people walking around the grounds were no better than the building or the landscape. All of them looked depressed and strangely faded. As if the hospital had sucked the color out of them. Axel surveyed his surroundings uneasily; this was not a pleasant place.

Finally Axel reached the entranceway, a pair of double doors. He gazed at them, tall and unforgiving as they were, and visibly gulped before plunging through.

Once on the other side he had to blink several times in order to ensure that this was the same building he'd just been gazing at. The inside of the building was the complete opposite of the exterior. Inwardly, it was warm and welcoming. The walls were an off-white shade of yellow, like pale buttercups, rather than the same cold grey stone that made up the outer walls. Sure there were sad people here and there (it was still a hospital, no matter how _homey_), but overall the mood was filled with a subtle cheerfulness. If a little subdued.

Axel raised his eyebrows. The pretty lady behind the desk looked up, noticed him, nodded at him, _smiled_ at him and then returned to her papers. Axel shook his head, reminding himself of why he was there. This was no time to be admiring their interior decorating skills.

After getting directions from the pretty forewoman he headed towards the floor where Riku was supposed to be staying the night. When he entered the corridor he knew Riku's room was in, he stopped and stared. He couldn't help but think that compared to the site that met his eyes the outside of the hospital looked like it could be a set on _Teletubbies_.

There was Sora, who nodded at Axel, offering nothing but a small, grim smile. Kairi who, while not smiling at him, did not frown either. Then there was a woman with orange hair pulled back into a tail that went passed her shoulders a little, wearing a red sweater that Axel didn't know. A few kids who looked at him strangely. And then three more adults, two of which Axel recognized as the people who had greeted Riku on his doorstep that night Axel and Riku had come back from their first date at the Chinese joint.

He drew a breath slowly, and began walking steadily over to the large group of people, fighting the urge to turn screaming. The woman he assumed was Riku's mother was looking at him as though she wished to castrate him. He shuddered.

About halfway down the hallway, the orange haired lady walked up to greet Axel halfway, and the redhead couldn't help but be immensely relieved that she, at least, was smiling welcomingly at him. He tried to smile back but given the circumstances…

"Hey," he said nervously, taking the hand she offered, "Uh…" he looked around at the cold, calculating stares (or rather, _glares_) he was receiving, "I'm Axel." The familiar catch phrase _"Got it memorized?"_ nearly slipped off his tongue, however he got the faintest impression that now was not the time.

"Hello," said the red sweater lady, "I'm Naomi, Riku's psychiatrist. This is Ritsuko, Riku's mom and Natashi, his father. And that over there is his aunt along with his little sister and cousin," said Naomi, pointing out each person in turn, "You already know Sora and Kairi right?"

Axel immediately found himself warming up to this woman. She somehow had the ability to be formal and yet informal and friendly at the same time. Almost like Olette, except a little warmer. Maybe it was their eye color; Naomi's eyes were a soft, comfortable teal-like color that had a calming effect on Axel, while Olette's sharper, viridian orbs always sparkled brightly.

"Yeah, we've met," said Axel, he glanced at Kairi. He knew she wasn't fond of him, but then again, she _had_ called him… Well, at least she wasn't glaring at him. Not like Riku's mom, "So um… Is anyone going to… fill me in? I mean…"

He looked around. The tension in the corridor was thick with unspoken words and not-so-skillfully hidden feelings. Finally Kairi cleared her throat. Axel turned his attention to her, slightly startled by the fact that she was talking to him.

"Well, it's like I told you," Kairi began, "Riku was raped on his way home. They found him in an alleyway. He's… He's okay for now. But he's not talking to anyone. And if-… If he doesn't start talking again..."

Sora picked up where Kairi left off, "He won't be able to go back to school."

_"I just want to make it through high school."_

Axel heard the words distantly echoing in his head.

_"Make it through high school…"_

He blinked as water welled up in his eyes.

"_High school…"_

Swallowed the lump in his throat.

"_Make it through…"_

Bit his lip.

_"Well I think making it through high school is a good plan for you."_

"Right," he rasped out, nearly choking as he spoke around the painful lump in his throat, "So… So what do we do now?"

"It all depends," said Naomi, straightening her sweater, "if he doesn't start talking then it'd be impossible for him to go back to school. If he does start talking… Well… We'd have to see. Still, the chances of him going back are slim, at best. And even if he doesn't go back to school we might not be able to permit him to live at home."

Everyone's heads shot up at that.

"What do you mean?" asked Ritsuko quickly, "Are you saying he won't be able to live at home with us?"

Naomi bit her lip, "It's a possibility… They might want to keep him at the rehab center. In the dorm rooms there…"

"You mean they'd lock him up in an asylum?" asked Sora harshly.

"No, no," said Naomi, waving her hands, "not an asylum… No nothing like that. I mean, you all know that they offer dorm rooms at the center. Regardless of whether Riku starts talking or not he might end up having to stay in one."

There was silence following this statement. Sora slumped against the wall, slowly sliding down its surface until he reached the ground; where he promptly crumpled. Kairi moved beside Sora, burying her face in his shirt. Ritsuko's face was blank, but her hands were shaking. Natashi and the rest of Riku's family all just sat there; faces expressing grief.

Axel continued to swallow the numerous lumps that were rising in his throat, one after another. He wouldn't permit himself to break down in front of everyone.

"Am I supposed to talk to him now?" he asked, looking from face to face.

"Yeah, I think that'd be good," said Naomi, pushing a ginger strand of hair out of her face. Axel nodded and proceeded into the room.

He really wasn't sure what he was expecting. Would Riku be crying profusely? Would he talk to Axel? Or would he just sit there and stare? Would he scream? Would he be skin and bones? Would he look the same as he always did? What would Axel be able to say to him to make it all better? Was that even possible?

The questions circulated through his head; whirling around and bouncing off the walls of his brain, a multitude of possible situations occurred to him…

But as soon as he pushed that door open all those thoughts died. He let the door fall shut behind him, only dimly aware of the clicking noise it made when it shut. His eyes fell on Riku, lying there in his white hospital bed, the hospital covers pulled up over his mouth. His eyes were, at the moment, shut. And from far away he might've looked peaceful; just another recovering patient.

But up close Axel could see that his breathing shuddered and trembled. And as he sat down in one of the guest chairs nearby the bed and peered at Riku's face he saw that Riku's eyes were still moving behind their lids. Whirring in their sockets erratically. One of Riku's hands, the one that wasn't clutching the covers over his face, was laying palm up on the bed, the fingers twitching occasionally.

For a while Axel watched Riku's pale hand (so much smaller than the red head's own) as it reached for something only its owner could see. So intently was Axel watching the digits of Riku's hand that he didn't even notice when Riku's eyes opened. When he finally did look up his green eyes were met with a pair of cyan orbs.

Riku stared at Axel expressionlessly. Axel stared back, grappling hopelessly for the right words. Something that would make everything better…

Before Axel could come up with anything, Riku broke the stretched out silence.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice was so much softer than it had been before. And Axel couldn't help but think that if it could be given form it would be like glass. So delicate it could be shattered by a gentle breeze.

"Hey," Axel whispered back, he offered a small soft smile to go along with his greeting, "You're awake now."

Riku's eyes flitted around the room, he gave no acknowledgement that he had heard Axel.

"I thought you weren't talking," said Axel, reaching up to squeeze Riku's hand tentatively. Riku watched Axel for a long time before speaking in that same delicate voice.

"I don't know anymore," he whispered.

"What don't you know?" whispered Axel back, giving the hand another encouraging squeeze.

"Anything."

Riku looked at the ceiling, "What's going to happen now?"

"I think that's mostly up to you," said Axel, eyes never straying from Riku's face, watching every little change that happened in his features.

Riku's face gave no signs of recent crying. But that didn't reassure Axel in the slightest. When Riku moved, his movements were quiet and shuffling, giving Riku a sort of faded, washed out persona. But the thing that troubled Axel the most was Riku's eyes. Axel had never seen Riku's eyes like this. They were wide, filled with childlike curiosity and innocence. But it was a tarnished innocence; Riku's current pain shined through. And those pupils, they never stopped moving. Always flitting around the room, dilating at small noises.

Riku said nothing in response to his comment and began studying the ceiling instead. Axel sighed; he gave Riku's hand a small squeeze.

They sat like that for a while. Riku looking all over the room. Axel watching Riku hopelessly.

Once again, it was Riku who broke the silence.

"I love you."

The words were spoken so softly that at first Axel wasn't quite sure he'd heard them or not. Perhaps he was imagining things…

One look at Riku's face disproved that theory however.

"What?" asked Axel.

"I love you."

Axel thought for a moment, "Riku, you're confused," he said softly, "you need rest okay?"

"Okay," agreed Riku, drawing another shuddery breath and pulling Axel's hand close to his chest with both of his smaller ones, "but it's true, okay?"

"Okay," Axel smiled; using the hand Riku wasn't cradling to push a few loose tresses of silver out of Riku's face, "Hey Riku?"

Riku looked up from Axel's hand questioningly.

"Are you… going to talk to the others now?" asked Axel, in a hushed voice, "They're really worried about you, Riku…"

Riku refused to answer for a long time, "I guess…"

He didn't sound so sure.

"Riku, what are you scared of?" asked Axel, "Why don't you want to talk to them?"

"It's not that," said Riku, biting his lip, "it's just… They're going to want to talk about what-… about what-… what happened… And they'll want to talk about what's going to happen and I-… I feel like… Like if I talk to them about it…"

"It'll make what happened seem more real?" asked Axel. Riku scrunched up his face and nodded. Axel smiled at Riku and gave his hands a squeeze.

"Well, why don't you go to sleep? You can talk to everyone when you wake up okay? I'll tell them to let you rest."

"Thank you, Axel," said Riku, before his eyes slowly drooped shut, pupils moving and twitching the whole time. In a matter of minutes Riku's breathing returned to its much slower (but still slightly haggard) pace, the fingers that were clasped around Axel's began twitching occasionally, just as they had before, and Axel could tell upon closer inspection that Riku's eyes were still moving under those lids.

A soft click from behind him alerted him to someone else's presence.

He tilted his head back to get an upside-down view of Naomi, Kairi and Sora.

"His family wanted to talk alone," said Naomi by way of explaining their presence, "How is he?"

"Asleep," said Axel, using his free hand to make a shushing gesture at the three newcomers.

"Did he talk?" asked Kairi, tucking her hair behind her ear as she always did when she was nervous. Axel licked his lips and nodded.

"Really?" asked Naomi, perking up instantly, "Well that's a good first step. At least now we'll be able to run the tests."

"To see if he can go on with high school, right?" asked Axel. Naomi nodded.

"Thanks for coming, Axel," said Sora, giving the redhead a nod and a smile.

"Yeah, thanks," said Kairi, though she didn't meet his gaze like her brunette counterpart had. The four people in the room fell into a comfortable silence, each of them watching the slow rise and fall of Riku's back.

"How was he?"

"What?" asked Axel, staring at Naomi. Perhaps she noticed the look on his face because she cleared her throat once before saying:  
"I mean, what did you two talk about? Did he seem okay?" she asked.

"Oh, um," Axel shook his head and looked at Riku for a moment before saying, "I dunno, he talked really quietly… I mean, I'm no expert at these things… He just seems so delicate! It wasn't like he was really weird or anything but…"

Axel shrugged helplessly.

"It'll probably just be a more severe case of before," said Naomi sagely, "he's just going to be…"

"Unstable," said Sora.

"Yeah," Naomi nodded.

Axel returned his attention back to Riku's sleeping face. Kairi sat down on Riku's other side and began rubbing small circles in his back. But seconds after she started this movement, Riku began shuddering at the touches. When a small whimper escaped his mouth Axel frowned in concern.

"What's wrong with his back?" he asked sharply.

Kairi blinked, a little startled by Riku's small outburst, "I… Don't know."

"I think the doctors said something about a cut," offered Sora. Axel's frown deepened, and Kairi lifted up the covers to examine Riku's back. There was a bandage wrapping around Riku's torso.

"I saw it earlier when they were changing his bandage," said Naomi, "it looks like the guy responsible for this must've cut some sort of mark into Riku's back. Like a brand."

Kairi's nose wrinkled, "That's sick."

"What did it look like?" asked Sora, peering at Naomi curiously.

Naomi tapped her lip, "Well," she hesitated, "it kinda looked like… A heart… But with a key sticking out of the bottom… I mean… Like a heart shaped key… Or a cross with a heart on top of it… Kinda like that, I guess."

Sora looked at Kairi, "Wasn't that the symbol of the gang that attacked Riku and his family…?"

Kairi blinked, "Yeah, I think it was… the Heartless or something right?"

They looked at Naomi; she shrugged, and said, "They didn't show me the gang's insignia in any of the papers I got when I first started working with Riku."

"We'll let the police know later then," said Kairi before turning her attention to the back of Riku's sleeping head. After several minutes had passed, Kairi asked quietly, "What did he say?"

Axel looked up, Kairi was looking directly at him, "He… He said he doesn't know what to do now, and he's worried that if he talks to all of you about it then it'll all be real… Or something."

Naomi, who was studying Riku's face, said, "Or something," nodding her head.

"But he said he will talk to all of you once he wakes up again," added Axel.

"That's good," said Sora.

More silence. Naomi looked up at a clock on the wall.

"It's getting late," she commented softly, "you kids should go home for now."

Her statement was met with immediate protests.

"No way, I should stay here, by his side. He needs me."

"He needs us too! We're his best friends! You can't expect us to just go home and wait for news!"

"We're not kids!"

Naomi blinked at all of them and almost laughed, "I know you want to stay and help. But right now all Riku needs is rest. I'm sure his parents will contact you in the morning once they've got him settled down at home after he gets discharged. Okay? Now right now you three, yes all of you, should go home. Your families are probably all worried sick. Now get."

She addressed them all with cheerfulness but there was an underlying authority behind her words. Slowly and grudgingly, Sora, Kairi and Axel all filed out. Naomi explaining to them that Riku's parents would be staying with him tonight and that they shouldn't worry.

Riku's aunt and father had left when they all entered the hallway, only Ritsuko remained.

"Natashi took Resa home," she informed them all upon spotting their questioning looks, "I'll be staying with Riku tonight and taking him home tomorrow. In the meantime, you should all head home."

"Call me when you need me," said Naomi, pulling on a long, tan coat as she made her way through the corridor.

Sora looked at Ritsuko expectantly, "You'll call us right? Once it's okay for us to visit Riku at home?"

"Of course, Sora," said Ritsuko, offering him a brief warm smile before pulling both Sora and Kairi into a tight hug (Axel was all but forgotten), "you two have been such a help through all this. I'll keep you updated, don't worry. I'll be seeing you then."

They nodded before starting to head out.

Axel had been pulling on his own jacket when Mrs. Ishida turned to him, "I don't approve of you," she said bluntly.

Axel stared right back at her, "I could tell," he said sincerely, "but the thing is, Riku does."

Ritsuko stiffened slightly, "Yes he does."

Axel looked at her, apologetically, "I'm sorry if you feel like I went behind your back or something. Any chance you and I will get along?"

Something twitched in Ritsuko's face, her expression was stony, "We'll see."

"Alright then," Axel sighed, turning on his heel he made his way out of the hospital, calling his mom for a ride on his cell.

Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

**Author's Note:** I'm really sorry for the wait people. I was just about to start working on this story when out of nowhere the biggest blob of laziness just tackled me and dragged me into its sweet, smothering embrace. So today I woke up at eight, slapped myself a few times, drank a large glass of Gatorade and finished this chapter up. And urgh, it took me forever to get the conversation between Axel and Riku just right! I was a little in over my head.

Anyways, it wasn't just the laziness. There were a few family crises that kept me out of commission. Rosalyn Angel knows about one of them. Once again, I gotta apologize to you Rosy!!! Sorry for bothering you. But thanks for listening.

**In Other News:** Okay, I've had the ending for this story planned out for a very long time. But just a while ago, I thought of another ending. And I think I just might like this one more. Anyways, I want to ask you opinions though to see which one you'd all prefer. Now, I'm not going to base my decision entirely off your opinions, but I really would appreciate them, because honestly I have no idea which ending I like.

In order to help me out, just tell me in your review what you though about the epilogue in _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_. Okay? It's simple.

We're almost at the two hundred review mark!!! So review!!! Love you all. Oh! I'm starting my first year of high school next week. So, all you older people better not throw pennies at any unsuspecting freshmen 'kay? You never know, one of those unsuspecting freshmen just might be me.

bliss


	15. A Promise?

**Pre-Author's Note:** I am proud to say that for once the long wait had absolutely nothing to do with my own laziness. I worked my ass off trying to find time to write. I hope it pays off.

**Disclaimer:** I think that I'll actually write a real disclaimer out for the last chapter of this story… Y'know, just for the heck of it.

**Song:** Honesty

------

Riku didn't sleep that night.

He kept tossing and turning, bad thoughts swirling through his mind in a never-ending cycle of consciousness. And whenever he tried to turn his thoughts towards something more cheerful, like Axel, those thoughts would always warp into even uglier thoughts than before, like Axel leaving him all alone.

In many ways, he felt like he had been viewing his life through a haze this whole time. The second rape had cleared this haze. Now he could see his whole life clearly, and he could see how awful and twisted it was. His family's death, the first rape, his messed up friendships, his own insanity, the completely broken relationship he had with Axel…

Looking back on all of it from his position on the hospital bed, Riku realized now what a train wreck his life was. His relationship with Axel was no different. This… _thing_ he had with the red head could be viewed as spontaneous, at best, and pointlessly random and hopeless at worst. Riku got the distinct feeling most people would agree with the latter.

And now, to top it all off, he'd been raped again. Violated again. Torn and shredded to pieces again. Completely traumatized again. Broken. Again.

It was only a matter of time before he lost his loved ones. Again. He supposed that meant Axel in particular. The thought of losing the lanky twenty year old was not comforting in the least, though Riku had to admit, it wouldn't be entirely shocking if it were to happen.

Riku knew what would happen tomorrow. He'd go home with his parents, and then after only a few hours the police would come and question him. And Sora, and Kairi and his family would be there and they'd all ask him if he wanted to catch the culprit.

And he'd say no.

He didn't care what happened to the man who'd hurt him.

The way he saw it, it didn't matter if the rapist was caught or not. It wouldn't change what had happened. It wouldn't make Riku better. He knew it wouldn't make him feel any better. What was the point, after all? There'd be other villains to catch. What did one rapist matter?

So Riku lay there in bed, knowing and hating what would happen the next day because he'd be questioned, and pampered beyond belief. And because he'd ask for Axel, and they'd probably say no.

They'd say that he could see Axel later, and that right now they needed to find the evil man responsible for all this.

But Riku didn't care about catching the man, he cared about seeing Axel.

Why did things have to be this way?

------

"Axel, hungry?"

The channels on the TV flipped by one by one. Axel looked up with dull eyes.

"No."

His mom hesitated.

"Oh, okay then… You sure?" she asked tentatively.

Axel shook his head and sighed, "Yes. I'm sure."

"Fine then," she said, not in a harsh, overly-critical way but in a soft way. And while it was obvious she did not fully understand what Axel was feeling, she knew that now was not the time to question him. So without another word to her son she left the room and began setting the table for two. She and her husband. That was how it'd been the day prior too.

As his mother left the room, Axel changed the channel again with a _click _that echoed through his now completely silent living room. The TV was on mute. Honestly, Axel didn't even know why he'd bothered plopping himself down in front of the television in the first place. Perhaps it was just to make himself feel like he was doing something, when in reality he wasn't.

That was when the phone rang.

Almost as if he'd been waiting for some sort of cue Axel sprang up from his position on the couch and leapt towards the baby cradle phone (What could he say? His parents had their quirks.). Putting the cradle-esque handle on his shoulder, his familiar phone greeting slipped through his lips automatically:

"Hey," he said, his voice came across as careless and laid back. Subdued.

The person on the other end said something briefly. A smile spread across Axel's face.

"Oh hi," he said easily, "What can I do for-…?"

His mouth parted, lips forming a silent "O". There was a brief instant of silence.

Finally, after managing to string a few words together he asked, "Are you serious? For real? You mean it?"

A confirmation came from the line. Axel grinned, and pumped a fist, "Yes! Oh man, this is totally-…"

He froze.

Something in his mind clicked.

New York… That was really far away…

_Riku_.

------

The trip to Riku's house was phenomenally short. Or maybe Axel was just impatient. In any case, it seemed like only an instant had gone by in between the moments when he was stepping into his car and when he was ringing the doorbell of the Ishida residents.

Natashi was the one who answered the summoning, Axel blinked when he spotted the older man's appearance. Mr. Ishida looked worn out, to put it bluntly, there were rings under his eyes and he had a decidedly disgruntled look about him.

Then Axel registered the screams that seemed to be coming from inside the home.

Axel craned his neck to see past Natashi's broad police officer form, "Is that…?"

Natashi shifted in front of Axel's line of view, "Yes, that's Riku," he said wearily, "He's um… Not doing so well… As you can probably tell."

"Well, can I go see him then?" asked Axel, a slightly desperate tone to his voice, "Maybe I can-

"Ritsuko does not want you anywhere near that boy."

The amount of time it took for that statement to register with Axel could have filled both hours and seconds at the same time. Axel stared up at Natashi; the man had said it with such a blunt, emotionless tone…

"But I just-

Natashi cut him off with a hand; there was so much authority behind this action that it caused Axel to stop talking dead in his tracks. He gazed at the man; entire face furrowed in an expression of mingled desperation and frustration.

Finally, after a painfully tense silence, Axel tried one last approach, "Please, I'm beg-

"No," the elder of the two cut him off with such a clipped tone it stung, Axel blinked, Natashi sighed, "Listen, it's not like… Now isn't the time. Riku's not ready to see anyone right-

He was cut off by a fresh batch of screams. This time, Ritsuko seemed to be accompanying her son.

"_Riku,_ calm _down_** now**!" she shrieked. A loud thumping sound was heard. And just as Axel was about to push past Natashi and force his way into the family's home, Natashi slammed the door in Axel's face. Axel stood there, anger draining out of him, as he listened to the muffled screams coming from inside. Someone started yelling (probably Natashi), and then there was silence. Followed by muffled crying and thumping noises.

In his mind's eye, Axel could easily picture Ritsuko and her husband watching hopelessly as Riku had a meltdown in front of them.

He wondered what they were doing to calm him down…

And then he wondered what he'd do in their positions.

------

It had been three days since Axel's visit to the Ishida household. And yet Natashi had not bothered to fill in his wife about the visit their son's boyfriend had made to their home. After all, he had reasoned, she didn't need any more stress at the moment. Between her usual daily routine and trying to control Riku's frequent outbursts it was a wonder the woman was still sane.

Today however, Riku hadn't said a thing, he'd kept to himself and spared few words to anyone; including Sora and Kairi (the two had come to visit him for the first time since the hospital). The three were currently in Riku's room. Ritsuko had called the two teens over so that they could keep Riku occupied while the meeting that determined his fate went on in the dining room.

"So…" said Naomi, breaking the empty silence of the room, she took out a stapled packet of paper, "the results from the tests he took are in." Slowly, she pushed the contents of the tests towards a member of the school board.

Mrs. DiMaria studied the papers with a critical eye. Everything about the woman screamed perfectionist. Her pitch black hair was pulled back in a tight bun that rested high atop her head, like a King on his throne would. Her glasses were perfect rectangles and her pencil skirt didn't have a trace of dust on it. There was a cold, dispassionate glint to her eyes that were such a grey shade of blue they might as well have been steel.

"Well then," said the woman, her words clipped and short, "I suppose, you've already looked these over?" She asked, addressing Naomi.

The orange haired lady's warmth seemed to pale next to Mrs. DiMaria's wintry cold. Naomi nodded, "I have."

"And what do you think?"

Naomi sighed; she looked across at her colleague, Deven Atar, before saying, "I can't be entirely sure," she said slowly, "I think that Riku _could_ pull off going to high school. But I only worry about whether or not he _should_."

"And what do you mean by that?" asked Ritsuko, looking at Naomi heatedly, "If he can then of course he should!"

"Well, not necessarily," said Naomi, tapping her index finger against the hard mahogany wood table, "I think he could definetly make it through the school day. But I also think school would just pile up too much stress on him. I'm not sure if it would be best…"

"What I want to know is whether or not it would be safe to have him around the other kids," said a member from the school board, placing both of his hands on the desk. The bald patch on his head gleamed in the Ishida's dining room light.

Naomi looked at him sharply, "Of course he's _safe_," she sneered, "I'm more worried about what the other students would do to him."

The man glowered at her, "I'll have you know my students-

"Are all going to grow up to be model citizens, I'm sure," said Naomi; her sarcastic tone was not missed, "just like you right? By the way, I heard about that car accident on Fifth… Is that your second DUI now? Or third?"

He was no doubt about to hurl a retort at her, but was interrupted by Mrs. DiMaria, her voice cutting through the thickness in the room like ice, "That doesn't get us any closer to a decision."

She looked at Deven Atar, "Mr. Atar? What do you think?"

Deven shook his head, brown hair flopping a little, "It's hard to say, I do agree with Naomi though. There's no doubt in my mind that Riku could make it through a school day but… Well it's like she said. I… At this point I… I don't think it would be best."

Natashi chose that moment to speak, "You said, after the first run in with the gang, that it would be best if Riku continued to go to school. You said he needed the contact with the outer world."

Naomi chose to answer that, "Yes but-… That was a long time ago, the situation's changed."

Mr. Bald-Spot looked at them all, "So that still leaves us with our final decision…? Mrs. DiMaria?"

Her lips pursed in thought, the woman shot Mr. and Mrs. Ishida a furtive look, and for a moment there was a spark of guilt behind those rectangular glasses, and then it was gone, "I think it's clear that none of us believe it would be in Riku's best interest to send him back to school. Though I believe we can allow him to live at home. If that's what you want of course," she added, ducking her head towards the Ishidas.

Ritsuko's hands closed into fists, "Of _course_ we want to keep him at home with us," she said, but her voice shook, "How can you even ask…?"  
"I only wonder about the stress it's putting on you," said Naomi in her usual soft voice, she was looking at Mrs. Ishida with clear concern, "if you're stressed out then that stress will in turn affect Riku and only worsen his condition."

Riku's mom opened her mouth to say something but Mrs. DiMaria's voice cut her off with the deftness of an axe, "So it's settled then, Riku will continue to live at home but will not be attending high school. As for therapy, I propose that he attend daily therapy during the same hours that he would usually attend school. That might make the transition easier."

There was a chorus of agreement and then, just like that, the meeting ended. Naomi and Deven shot the Ishida's furtive looks before leaving hurriedly out the door. Mrs. DiMaria managed one brief apologetic glance before following them out the door.

And so it went, all the board members and psychiatrists left one by one until it was just Natashi and Ritsuko standing alone in the living room, now trying to figure out how to go about the daunting task of telling Riku.

------

Sora was a happy person by nature. That was just who he was. Happy, happy Sora. His friends called him happy. His family called him happy. The teachers called him happy. Complete strangers took one look at him and called him happy. _Everybody_ called Sora happy.

It got a little tiresome at times. Especially the times when Sora was not happy. Because people didn't expect Sora to be sad. They expect him to be Sora. Happy, happy Sora.

However, Sora had just come from Riku's house. He had just seen Riku's parents telling their son he would no longer be able to go to school with all his friends; his _normal_ friends. And Sora had to admit, seeing Riku break so completely had definetly not left him feeling happy.

"Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you."

Sora turned, head tilted inquiringly, when he saw who it was he offered a small smile, "It's you, I was wondering when you'd come to see me."

Axel cocked an eyebrow, "How'd you know I'd want to see you?"

"Riku's mom told me and Kairi about how you're not allowed anywhere near Riku," said Sora simply, a small shrug accompanying his words, "I figured you'd track one of us down. And seeing as you and Kairi aren't exactly buddy-buddy…"

"Ah," Axel nodded, "well you're right then. Here I am."

Sora stared at Axel, as if studying him; mind made up he said, "They held the meeting today. At Riku's house. To decide if he can go to high school or not."

Almost instantaneously, Axel's head shot up, green eyes widening in surprise, "But… It's only been four days! They decided already?"

"Yup," said Sora grimly.

"And…?"

Sora scratched his head, "Eh… He… They're not going to let him go back."

There was a brief pause following those words. The kind of pause that happens when someone is digesting information. Axel swallowed.

"So, are they going to move him to the rehab center too? Or…?"

"He'll stay at home, but he'll be at rehab a lot more often during the day now," said Sora, answering the unfinished question. There was a silent understanding passing between the two men. It was written all over Sora's face that he was just as upset about this as Axel was, if not more. It was also evident that Sora had told Axel all he knew.

And so, without the need to speak, both of them turned away; each heading off in opposite directions.

------

So here was the awful truth. Riku couldn't go back to high school. He wouldn't have to worry about copying notes from Olette anymore. He wouldn't have to fret over how behind he was. He wouldn't have to jerk away from people when they pushed past him in the hallways anymore.

He wouldn't have to do math homework with Axel anymore.

Riku took in a shuddery breath that rattled in his lungs and sent shivers up his back and arms. He hugged his legs closer to his torso and shrunk to the back of his bed so that his back was pressed to the wall and the sheets and blankets all wrapped around him in a sloppy cocoon; eyes darting all around the room, which was beginning to resemble a prison cell more and more with each passing second.

It had been three hours since he'd been informed that he wouldn't be walking through the front door to high school come next Monday. But a lot had happened during those three hours. The police had apparently apprehended the rapist responsible for Riku's latest trauma. Some 'sick fuck named Ansem', Natashi had stated. His parents had looked positively gleeful when they'd told him.

Riku couldn't care less.

They had said something about justice and vengeance. But vengeance was just another word for revenge and couldn't they see how revenge twisted a person? Then Natashi had told his mom that Axel had stopped by the house earlier. That had been half an hour ago.

And yet they were still shouting at each other.

Riku didn't even think they were arguing about Axel anymore.

He muffled a whimper and gathered his limbs up even closer together, so that his hands were pulling his feet inward towards the rest of him. He barely even started when Resa came flying into his room, tears streaming down her usually smiling face.

It was that moment that Riku realized just how much of a burden he was on everyone. His parent's relationship was getting torn by all the stress of the situation, Sora and Kairi had become parents in their teens, Axel had just wasted a few months of prime years worrying over Riku, and now even Resa was struggling because of him.

Without a word to her older brother, Resa leapt onto the plush bed not even bothering to explain as she grabbed her brother and clung tightly to him. Riku stared at her in horror; he'd reduced that perfect little angelic girl to an emotional heap of tears.

He didn't want to think about what she was going through, a girl her age watching her parents fight and her brother end up in the hospital time and time again.

Overcome with a sudden impulse, Riku gathered her smaller form, still heaving with sobs, and held her close. They sat like that for a while, neither one having to say a thing, the only conversation they had was being conveyed with the way they were hugging each other.

Neither one noticed when the screams echoing up from the living room ceased. Neither one noticed when both their parents peaked their heads into the room in order to better see their two children, curled up on the bed in a complex tangle of arms and legs.

------

It was official, Axel was desperate. He needed to talk to Riku, he _needed_ to. There was so much to say…

But Sora couldn't sneak him in, Natashi wouldn't listen, Kairi had proved unhelpful (at best) and Axel was frankly too scared to approach Mrs. Ishida.

The simple fact of the matter was that Axel needed to talk to Riku, and this was proving to be hard. It seemed Ritsuko had instructed anyone and everyone who came into contact with Riku during the day to not let Axel near the silver haired teen.

In a last ditch effort, Axel had gone to Naomi.

"Naomi will see you now," said the lady behind the desk, pointing Axel in the direction of a nearby door. Axel nodded and thanked her before heading in. Naomi looked up from a stack of papers.

"Hello Axel," she said, offering a small brief smile before returning her attention to said paperwork. Axel walked across the room and sat down in the armchair in front of Naomi's desk. The orange haired woman glanced up at him in an almost guilty fashion.

"Naomi," he began, "I need you to help me… I have to… Have to see Riku again."

Naomi sighed, one hand coming up to rest on her forehead, she looked exhausted, "I'm sorry Axel but I just can't help you."

Axel's jaw clenched, something deep inside of him snapped, "And why the hell not huh? God, I swear it's always the same fucking thing with you people! Nobody ever told me what happened to Riku! And now nobody's even letting me see him! Well why not?! Why shouldn't I be able to-

"Axel," Naomi's voice cut through his rant sharply, Axel stared at her, she was rubbing her temple in frustration. He'd never seen her like this before.

"Axel, please," she said, voice weighed down with strain, "listen to me… Ritsuko doesn't want you to see Riku. And no one has the right to disobey her wishes when it comes to her son. She's his mother. She's just looking out for him. So regardless of whether or not it's best for him, I'm afraid you can't go near him."

Axel bit his lip, "But I _have_ to see him! You don't understand-

"What don't I understand, Axel?" she asked, "Hm?", her expression softened, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Axel hesitated, but then… There really wasn't any harm in telling her…

"I-…" he cleared his throat, "I got a job offer. From my second cousin. A friend of his is opening a restaurant in New York. And he-… I could work there as soon as I graduate this year."

Naomi's mouth formed a silent "O", "You're going to New York…? But Riku…"

"What does it matter?" Axel all but snarled, "You said it yourself, I'm not allowed to be with him anyways. Right?"

Naomi blinked, and for one fleeting instant she looked on the verge of tears, "I-… Yes that's true…"

"So then," said Axel, voice taking on a cold chilling tone, "I guess we have nothing to say to each other."

He turned to leave, and just as his hand was reaching forward he paused. He could've sworn Naomi had just said "wait"… Turning slowly, he arched an eyebrow at her, "Yes?"

Naomi studied her hands for a long time, finally she looked up, soft teal eyes meeting with Axel's own shocking emerald, "Go to the library."

Now, interest piqued, Axel turned to face her fully, "The library?" he asked.

Naomi nodded, "Yes. You might find him there. It's the library his father, his biological father, worked at. Riku goes there a lot. I would think it must be very cathartic for him. You just might run into him there."

Axel smiled, "Thanks."

Naomi smiled, "Don't mention it," she paused and blinked, a sly smirk sliding onto her face, "No really, don't mention it to anyone. Ritsuko would kill me."

Axel actually laughed, "I won't, don't worry," he grinned; it felt like a small weight had been lifted off of him. It was such a nice change pf pace, laughing with Naomi like that. He gave her a mock bow and waved his hand with flourish, "Good bye."

Naomi nodded, expression sobering, "Good bye, Axel."

------

Riku's loud, mournful wail was hushed by the blanket he was wrapped up in. He hunched forward, trembling, his hair fell forward, framing his face in a demonic fashion. Pain shined brightly in his eyes which were swimming with hurt and confusion.

Why was all of this happening? Why? _Why, why, why? _

His whole body shook, the movement causing unshed tears to break free of his face. He inhaled and looked up at the lights on the ceiling of his room.

Why did it have to go this way? Why? _Whywhywhywhywhywhy-_

He toppled forward and curled onto his side, pulling the blankets with him. He brought his body in as tightly as it would go, forming a small ball. For no reason at all he shook his head violently, causing silver strands to flop all over the sheets and spread out around his head like a glowing prism.

_Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

His shut his eyes, making sure his eyelids were held down as tightly as possible. He missed Axel. He missed Axel so much it hurt. But…

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

But he couldn't even remember much about Axel anymore. All he could really think about these days was the pain, and the medication that left his brain all sleepy and his memory a train wreck, and the yelling, and all the shouting, and Sora and Kairi babying him, and his sister avoiding him and… Pale fingers reached up to curl around the hem of the large downy blanket.

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

When he tried to bring Axel back into his consciousness these days all he could really think about was the color red, math problems, tofu, Chinese food, chocolate sauce and a really angry Kairi. Everything else was a blur.

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

When he asked other people about him they just shrugged it off, saying they didn't know anyone named Axel. But that wasn't right. Or was it? He couldn't remember… But he could've _sworn_ they had all met Axel before so… Why didn't they remember him?

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe that was what the medication was for. Maybe he was just _imagining _things again. That could be it. Maybe Axel wasn't real.

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

And so Riku stopped thinking about Axel, for the most part.

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

Still, that didn't stop that tiny bit of his heart that was screaming and aching. That tiny piece of mind that refused to believe all those dates hadn't happened. That tiny piece of his body and soul that remembered.

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

Remembered everything. Everything that had happened to him. The rape, the family, the fighting, Axel and the sad expression on Naomi's face when she'd been forced to prescribe medication for Riku two months after Ansem had been arrested and Axel had left. Wait…

_whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

Axel had left? But he'd made a promise… Or was all that just a lie his mind had invented?

_why? Oh God, oh God… Why? Why-_

_…_

_Axel?_

**Author's Note:** I hate this chapter. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I damn it to the deepest depths of hell… Oh man, this was such an effing bitch to write….

That being said, the long wait for this chapter would mostly be because… -ahem-

High school is a bitch. At least that seems to be the consensus so far. Being in school itself is kinda fun I guess… Seeing friends, making new friends…

But OMG. The HOMEWORK, I tell you, the HOMEWORK!!! It's like- Gah! Not to mention almost all my classes are on opposite ends of the school, so I'm like CONSTANTLY trying to make it to class on time. The school is too freakin' HUGE. I mean seriously, why do we need gym? It's like, I actually think I'm losing weight from all the constant running around like a maniac…

So you want a brief overall look at my day? Okay. So first I wake up at like six thirty (waaay tooo early). Then it's off to school where I work my ass off in all my honors classes (which give waaaaay too much homework), ESPECIALLY biology. Omigod, my counselor wasn't kidding when she told me honors biology was the hardest class a freshman could take. It's like, the teacher opens her mouth to start lecturing and WHOOSH!!! It all goes straight over my head.

So then I get home at four (freakin' retarded bus driver), have a snack, and then I'm on the homework case! I stay on that case till like… ten thirty… At which point I go to sleepy-sleep.

My bed has NEVER looked so comfortable. So yeah, basically I only get about twenty to thirty minutes on the computer each day.

So if you throw all that labor I go through everyday and then add in my sleeping problem… I'm exhausted. Literally just whipped out. I'm starting to regret taking almost all honors classes. (The only classes I'm taking that aren't honors are math and history. Because I hate math and because there is no honors history class.)

So, sorry for rambling… Um… The next chapter is the last one. Yeah. It'll be like a HUGE relief once this is all over. And the next update should come around… Eh. Depends on how sadistic the teachers are feeling.

Reviews people! If you've never reviewed this story before now is the time to start! It's ending!!!

exhaustion


	16. Getting It Right

**Author's Note:** …I had to like drag myself to the computer in order to start working on this again… I mean… It's like I want this story to be over and yet… I can't imagine not having to work on it. I've never written a more popular multi-chapter.

-gets teary eyed- I love you all… TT.TT Waaah! –warbles-

Sorry for going on a bit of a rant in the last chapter.

Also, on an entirely different note. It is my deepest burning regret that I have to do this but… I'm afraid I must give you all homework. Dun, dun, dun… No but seriously, it would mean the world to me if all of you were to go off and read my friend CraziiJaney's story "A Time of Panic, Patience and Hair dye". You can find her on my fave author's list.

So yeah that's it basically. Read it, and review it, and BEG her to UPDATE. You don't have to, but it would mean a lot to me. I've been trying to get her to update for almost a year now… And don't worry about the summary, the amount of Namiku in the story is so miniscule it's literally nonexistent, plus I'm convincing her to take it out. So it's safe for yaoi fans.

So yeah, please do that.

And now without further ado…

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. I am not profiting from this story at all. There. I said it. Happy? I also do not own _Amazing Grace._ Though I do own a copy. The rights to that book belong to Lady Karai.

**Song:** Thousand Miles (one of my favorite songs EVER, even if it is pop… -shudders-)

------

"No, no, no! Don't put that over there! Those are really expensive!"

The movers all exchanged wary looks before doing as the lithe blonde had instructed and moving the box they were carrying elsewhere. Namine sighed and rubbed her temples, she didn't mean to nag them but… _Honestly_, could they be any _less careful _with all her treasured possessions?

She looked up just in time to catch one of the men about to drop a box onto the hardwood floor. Her heart skipped a beat.

"No! Omigawd! _No_!" she rushed forward to snatch the box from the man, but found it was too heavy with her. The man, whose nametag, read Leonhart, immediately grabbed the box from her before she capsized.

"Ah, sorry ma'am," he said, dipping his head, "where would you like me to put this?"

Namine sighed, putting a hand to her racing heart, "Over there thanks," she said, pointing one finger towards a vacant spot on the floor, "And be careful!" she added painstakingly as the box teetered dangerously within his arms, "Those are some of his favorite books! He'll kill me if they get damaged!"

"Yes, ma'am," said Leonhart, wearily readjusting the box before setting it down carefully. One of the books resting near the top of the box toppled off. Namine rushed forward, heart racing for the poor book.

She turned the book over in her hands, examining the memorable cover.

"_Amazing Grace_," she breathed the title, holding the book close to her chest she blew out a deep sigh of relief, "Thank goodness, this _is_ his favorite book. He would've died without it." Brushing off the nonexistent dust on the cover, she placed the novel tenderly back into its secure spot in the box.

Leonhart eyed her for a moment before turning to go bring in the last of the boxes. He exchanged looks with the rest of the other workers, they all rolled their eyes. This pale, blonde chick was _clearly_ new to the idea of own her own place. Young people… Always worrying about everything.

Namine bit her lip, searching the room for inattentive movers. As her pale blue orbs scanned the room she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. It was just like any of the other boxes, but what really caught her eye was what was inside. She bent down, brushing blonde wisps of straw out of her eyes before reaching in and gently taking out a picture frame. A bittersweet smile formed on her face, soft and supple, as she studied the picture the frame held.

It was a picture of herself with Denzel and Riku, sitting on the curb outside of Chill. Pain flashed through her eyes as she realized that Denzel had died just days after that trip. She took in each of their individual expressions, Denzel had his usual good-natured grin in place, Namine herself was smiling her own shy smile and Riku… Riku had his elbows resting on his knees; his attention was focused on Denzel who looked like he might've been telling a joke… Riku's smile was a warm smile, and anyone who got to see it could tell right away that it was the kind of thing that didn't happen often.

Namine's lip trembled momentarily, but a second later it was gone. She got up, brushed herself off, and turned to see that most of the movers were waiting around watching her. The brunette- Leonhart? - walked into the room, struggling under the weight of what looked to be the last box.

After setting it down- _Carefully_, he reminded himself grudgingly- he turned to Namine, wiping a bit of sweat of his brow.

"Well, that's the last of it," he said, hand on hip, "Do you want us to unpack or would you-

"I'd rather do it myself if you don't mind," said Namine, bobbing her head in a semi-apologetic way. Leonhart nodded. Of course, Little Miss Perfect wouldn't want them touching all her pretty things now would she?

"Where's that guy who was with you?" he asked as the rest of his workers filed out of the door, "If he's living here with you shouldn't he be helping you?"

Namine smiled, though the man had no idea why, "No," she said simply, shaking her head, "he's got other things to do at the moment."

"Okay…" Leonhart replied, not really understanding. But then again, hey, it was none of his business, "if you say so," he said, before pleasantly lifting his baseball cap towards her as he walked out the front door, "Pleasure doing business with you, ma'am."

Namine smiled, nodded and waved at him.

When the door clicked shut behind him she let out a breath, she smiled. She just couldn't seem to stop smiling today! It was so wonderful; she had an apartment all to her own!

Well… Sorta.

She looked around at all the boxes, that was when she realized that the daunting task of unpacking all of them had been left to her. She groaned and slapped her head.

"Gosh darn it," she muttered, "Why'd you have to go and leave me with all the work?"

With a resigned look planted on her face, she bent down and began unpacking box upon box upon box. Grumbling to herself the whole time.

"Shouldn't have let him leave… What was I thinking? I should've just let him go out after we'd unpacked _together_ but nooooo… 'Aw c'mon Nami, please? It's been so long…' Damn his puppy eyes."

_"Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty. Yes you do… Time Square can't shine as bright as you… I swear it's-_

"What?" snapped Namine, flipping open her silver cell phone irritably.

"Whoa, someone's cranky…"

"Oh," Namine brightened, "it's you," but as soon as the statement left her lips her countenance darkened considerably, "It's _you_," she hissed.

"Hey, you said it would be okay for me to go out. S'not my fault."

"As if," muttered Namine as she proceeded to arrange the framed pictures on top of one of the shelves she'd already set up, "you brought out the puppy eyes."

"I did no such thing."

"Oh yes you did, and don't deny it," she accused, eyes narrowing when she heard laughter coming from the other end, "it's not funny. I'm saving all the hard boxes for you once you get home."

"You cruel woman, you…"

"That's right," she said, a triumphant smirk playing across her lips, "that's what you get for abandoning me."

"Well at least I had a good reason…"

The smirk fell from Namine's lips and when she spoke again it was in a hushed, anxious tone, "So," she cleared her throat, pausing as she opened another box, "Did… Did you find him? Was he there?"

"No." That was his blunt response.

Namine's eyes clenched shut, "Oh, I'm so sorry R-

"But I ran into him after I left."

Namine blinked, "Really? You found him?"

There was a long pause. Namine bit her lip. When he failed to say anything she tried again.

"R- Riku? Did you find him? Riku?"

Another pause, an intake of breath and then…

"Yeah Namine, I found him… I found him."

------

"Hey! Hey you! Come back!"

Keep walking; they're probably not even calling for you anyway. You don't know anyone with that voce. It's none of your business so just ignore them. Besides, you're running late as it is.

"You! Could you hold on for a sec?!"

God, that person sounds really desperate… You wonder who their calling for. Perhaps a long lost lover? Pfft, as if, get your mind out of the gutter. Still, you can't help but wonder…

"Hey dude with the red hair! Yeah you!"

Hmm, well there are plenty of people with red hair and besides look at the time, oh God you're so late! Demyx is gonna be really pissed at you, and then he'll sick his boy toy, Xigbar, on you. Now what would that make you? Ah, let's think… Um, that'd make you pretty damn screwed. So c'mon, hurry up!

"Wait! Please! Just hold on for a bit okay?!"

Man, just who is this guy? Ah well, that doesn't really affect you.

"Just stop! What's wrong with you?! Hey! I'm talking to you!"

It is kind of odd that whoever's shouting must be going in the same direction as you though… Very odd indeed. But so what? This is New York; it's full of idiots going in the same direction. He's probably just shouting for that guy in front of you. The one with the big coat.

"Can you hear me?! Why won't you stop?! C'mon man slow down!"

The thought of the man's nice big coat reminds you that all you're wearing is a paper thin jacket. You shiver and draw it closer to yourself.

"STOP!!! Slow down! Hey I just want to talk!"

And there he is again. There's something very familiar about the things he's saying and this whole scenario in general but you can't quite put your finger on it…

"Will you stop for just one second?! I'll only take a minute of your time!"

That's when it clicks in your mind. What he's saying now, what you said at that time… Almost three years ago…

You stop and just as you're turning around he shouts out his final plea for you to stop.

"Axel! Wa-ait!"

And there he is.

He's running right towards you.

Oh my God, it's him… Oh God…

"Axel," he says your name, when he finally catches up to you he doubles over, hands on knees, panting for breath. Suddenly you feel guilty for making him run to catch up to you. You stare at him, bent down and gasping for breath.

"Axel," he says your name again, maybe just to feel it on his own tongue. His own lips… You remember those lips… You remember feeling yours on his.

You remember the way he's just popped up in front of you after two years of separation.

"Riku," you say, at a loss for words, "Riku, I-… What are you doing here?"

Finally he straightens up, and now you can see just how much he's changed. You tune out his next words; opting to take in his appearance.

"I've missed you so much…"

He's definetly gotten taller. A late growth spurt perhaps… Or maybe it's those boots. Which look _great_ on him.

"…Sora and Kairi were kinda upset at first but…"

And there's something else about him too… There's something else that's changed.

"…that hardest part was when my mom…"

He looks… Happier. Lighter. And you're not quite sure if you've ever seen him looking so light and pure and… Untarnished.

"…but Naomi came in and help-… Axel? Axel, are you even listening to me?"

He's still not as tall as you though. Thankfully. You're not sure if you'd ever be able to get used to him being taller than you.

"Axel!"

You blink just as he whaps you upside the head. And his action brings a small watery smile to your lips as you recall all the times he's done that before. Before things went to hell.

"Axel?" Now he's looking at you a little worriedly. You flash him your trademark smile just to reassure him. It works. Just like it always worked before. Back when the man standing before you was nothing but a little boy, lost in his own darkness…

"Space cadet," he says, thwacking you on the head again, he laughs a little. You just smile. It's been so long…

"You're mean," you whine, pushing on his shoulder lightly, "this is the greeting I get after two years of morbid separation? Man, that's cold…"

The smile fades from his face when you mention those two years apart. He blinks, worrying his lip in the same way he did when you first met him, only now his lips seem so much fuller. Not that pale little line you got so accustomed to assaulting with your own mouth. They look almost plush…

"I'm sorry…" he mumbles, looking at the floor, and once again you're struck by how his actions and little habits haven't changed one bit. He's still avoiding your gaze in that same guilty manner a child uses when they believe they've misbehaved.

"Hey," you place one hand on your shoulder while using the other to tilt his face up, "don't be sorry."

"It's just…" he struggles for the words, bringing both hands up to muss his hair, this action of course causes you to wonder just how stable he is now, "I wanted to… Wanted to see you… but then… I was just so… And then the medicine came and I couldn't even really think anymore."

"Wait, what?" you hold up a hand to pause him, "Medication? What? What do you mean?"

"Well," Riku drags his foot along the pavement, "after you left… Things just got worse… My parents started fighting. My friend Namine had a relapse after her boyfriend left her. Sora and Kairi started really dating… After about a month or so Naomi had no choice but to prescribe meds… Just some anti-psychotics… Among other things."

You gape at him for a full minute before bringing him into the tightest hug you've ever used on him. Just what has this angel been put through without you?

"Axel…" he whispers, but you don't pull away. Just savor the feeling of gripping this body in your arms, "Axel, um, people are staring…"

You pull away and glance around. Indeed, the two of you are attracting a fair share of attention.

"Ah, right…" you say, scratching the back of your head sheepishly, "it's just…" You shrug, at a general loss for words.

Riku nods his head once, "I know. Here c'mon, we can walk and talk."

You walk with him for a while, bathed in awkward silence. You study Riku carefully, noticing all the changes in the silver haired teen. Riku stands straighter; his face is clearer than it had been before. His hair is still about the same length, but instead of parting for his face, it now frames his face; occasionally falling in front of his features. His stride is slightly more confident. And yet…

And yet there's still plenty of your Riku there. That certain childish look of innocence is still left. And if you look closely enough, there's still deep pain hidden behind aqua orbs. Riku's hands, from what you can see, also seemed to still have that same baby smooth touch to them.

You smile. Riku's still Riku.

You watch affectionately as a small gasp leaves the teens parted lips when he almost trips over a small bend in the pavement.

Just as adorable as ever.

Suddenly you frown, numerous thoughts occurring to you all at once; possibilities…

"Riku," you begin, uncertain of what exactly you're about to say but knowing it needs to get out, "What does this mean exactly? I mean, I haven't heard from you in two years… Are we back together now or… Why did you come here?"

Riku glances at you before eyeing the sidewalk stretching out before the both of you, "I-… Well first of all, I'm not visiting. Namine and I just moved here."

You blink, "Wait- _what_? You-… Wha-aa-aa?"

All it takes is one look at your face and Riku's doubled over laughing, you wait patiently (sorta) for him to finish before tapping your hip testily, "Well?"

Riku wipes tears from his eyes before saying, "Oh God… I am never going to get over the look on your face… Oh man…"

You decide that since he's obviously not about to explain you might as well ask, "So who's Namine?" you ask, although the name does sound familiar to you…

"Namine's my best friend," he explains, "you might remember me mentioning her a couple times… I met her in rehab… Denzel-…" And for a second Riku's breath catches in his throat, "Denzel introduced us… So we bought an apartment here," Riku says the last part with a hint of cheerful pride and you can't help but smile with him.

"But how'd you afford it?" you ask, tilting your head just so.

"Well," Riku scuffs his foot on the ground, "I guess it's a long story…"

You mull over the way he says this for a while, "Look Riku," you begin, not entirely sure of how to put this into words, "are we back together now or…? What's gonna happen now?"

Riku shrugs, a smile spreads across his face, "I think that's mostly up to you."

You raise your eyebrows, "Are you going to be quoting me all day?"

He laughs and nods. You roll your eyes.

"No but seriously," you say, wiping the smile off his face, he eyes you curiously, "how are you and Namine going to afford an apartment? In New York no less…"

"Well," Riku runs a hand through his hair, "Namine's parents and mine are chipping in. Her parents are going to let her finish school here in New York."

"Wait a sec," you interrupt him, "_your_ parents are helping pay for it?"

"Well yeah," he shrugs, "I guess they had a change of heart? Plus, Naomi talked to them about maybe giving me some space to breathe…"

"I see," you say, thinking back on Naomi fondly, "that woman's a saint…"

"Yeah," he agrees, he seems to be debating over something in his head, with a small nod to himself he goes on to say, "plus there's the money I'm making with my job."

You look up at that, blinking at him, "Job?"

"Yeah," he says simply, "song writer. I write songs and lyrics, people pay me for them… I guess it's like freelance or something…" There's a nervous chuckle following this statement, "I uh, got the idea from you… When you saw some of the music I wrote… I don't know, I just started thinking that maybe it was something I could do."

"Huh," you're watching him out of the corner of your eye, "so… How's that going then?"

"Really well," Riku nods fervently, "I'm making a pretty good living… I think my songs are really popular or something…What about you? How's the restaurant going?"

"Its' going great," you say, "The Joint's become a huge success."

"The Joint?"

"Yeah, that's its name."

"Oh…"

It's nice, just talking with him like this. You smile to yourself, allowing thoughts to flow through your brain as your head turns upward to admire the skyscrapers. However there is one thing that bugs you…

You stop and turn to face him fully. Riku, sensing your movement, stops too and watches you carefully. You stare at him, studying every change critically and glorifying all the things that have remained the same.

It's soft and it's quick. You step forward, tilt his chin up with one hand and before he can put a word in edgewise you've pressed your lips to his. Both of you oblivious to the people around you and their reactions.

And right when he's about to close his eyes, you pull away. Watching his expression. It's a pout, but then there's underlying worry behind it. You can tell Riku's watching you carefully, he's all too aware of the fact that you haven't given him a direct answer regarding your relationship.

"Y'know," he begins, breaking the chilly silence, "I passed… I passed a Chinese restaurant while I was on the way here. It looks new... Maybe… Maybe we should stop there and talk? I mean… That is if you think…If you have the time." He dips his head, bangs obscuring his pale features. You smirk at the irony of the situation.

He's eighteen now. For some reason, that thought startles you. It's odd thinking that all that time you were gone, Riku's been growing and changing and suffering… But now it looks like maybe the latter is over. Riku seems genuinely… Okay. There's no nervous twitching. His eyes aren't darting everywhere; though they're still _slightly_ bigger than what would be considered normal.

In the two years you've been apart you've been thinking. Thinking that maybe you both got it wrong the first time around. You never really took time to fully, fully understand his situation. You just figured that you loved him and that would be enough.

But now, looking back, you realize that was stupid. Ritsuko had every right to guard Riku from you because really, if you think about it, even you didn't know what you were doing with him. It was all so quixotic…

So… What now? Are you going to really put effort into it this time? Are you prepared to try? Will you learn how to help him best? Will you really commit? How are you going to try to help him this time around?

…

What will you do differently?

"That sounds… nice. I'd like some Chinese… Yeah. Let's do that."

You'll get things right.

"Really? Great, then c'mon, it should be down this way."

You'll get things right this time.

"Okay."

Because maybe the first time around, you both screwed up. And maybe the first time around nothing came out of it.

"Are you gonna pay? Or should I? I can take the check now that I'm making my own money, y'know."

But you've learned from your mistakes. You've both learned.

You look at him, all pure energy and light, and you smirk, "Fine then, you pay Mr. Big-Shot."

He laughs, and puts one hand on your arm gently. You look at that hand, and follow its arm all the way up to his face; which is smiling at you. He's happy now. So maybe… Maybe you can both be happy together. That would be nice wouldn't it?

"Alright then, but you're paying next time, mister!"

You smile, and then, taking his hand in yours, you interlock your fingers. He blinks, startled by your actions, and looks up at you uncertainly.

"What are you doing?"

The question just causes your smile to grow.

And when he hears your answer, he smiles wider than you've ever seen him smile before. Because he, like you, knows that this time things will be different. This time things will work out.

You smile and squeeze his hand.

"I'm getting things right."

And that's all it takes.

**Ending Notes:** Many thanks to everyone who's reviewed and favorited this story. You have no idea how much all the support this story has gotten means to me. Please leave a review and tell me what your final views are. :D I hope the ending goes across well with everyone.

To those of you who think all the reviews this story gets has gone to my head please don't. I'm well aware of this story's quality. It's ups and downs. There are plenty of errors…

But I don't want to go back and correct any of them. Because to me Iggy was my way of improving my writing. It's certainly not the best thing I'll ever write. But my writing has improved so much throughout this whole chapter fic. I mean, if you just compare the first few chapters with the later ones you can tell… There's a _huge_ difference.

So yeah. I guess that's all I have to say. Thank you, once again.

I hope to seeing you all in the reviews for my other fic, _Macarena._ I will also be starting on _Washed Out_ soon. _Washed Out_ will be het though… So I guess I won't see most of you there.

Thanks again, lots of love-

bliss

**Ignorance is Bliss**

"**Iggy"**

**2006-2007**

**R.I.P.**


End file.
